#sumrai

[treudamon]

@sumrai oneliner

― “ Bit  rowdy  this  evening,  isn't  it? ”

[dyavolvich]

@sumrai : . . . a s k ( m e m e )

grieve is not meant to be . . . a drowsy light from an underground bar. the bottom of that glass shows no answers, not that any answer could bring back the dead or undo the grave mistakes carved in the past. those were the two maxims every cruel vagabond in the room had been introduced to at the earlier stages of their career. you pick up a habit to become too intimate with death a requirement for their curriculum &. sanity. this does not mean that all the wandering faces around them were mere automatons, uncapable of grasping the mere concept of emotion. addy herself, the unrivalled bartender, halted her efforts to clean the crystal glass on her hand as she eavesdropped their conversation. regrettably, she too had enough experience in losses.

recovery is remembering : the empty gaze of his first love on what was supposed to be an easy hit job. both too young, too proud, &. stupidly naïve ( traits that are very characteristic for those in their early twenties ). what else was there beside the fact that he could no longer hear her voice? or watch how her lips stretched wide into a genuine smile whenever she heard one of his dry jokes . . . the shared meals started to be an empty dark room where he would simply desist halfway through his meal, engulfed by the guilt of the bitter tale. recovery is accepting the void that cannot be filled by someone or something else, but life does not stop for those who mourn with the sour thoughts of « what ifs » festering in their minds.

he stands next to her, no drink in hand, just a passenger refusing to abandon a friend in need . . . a reflection of the joyless &. furious person he once was when experiencing his first loss. " and you are alive. " that much is a certainty, the only thing within control at the moment. a back-handed obvious statement, but no less true than the fact that her companion was dead. those two harsh realities coexist in this exact instance. " it's your choice now. give up, sit here talking to ghosts. or . . . HONOUR WELLES. learn from your mistakes and show everyone especially yourself that you are better than this. "

" you never recover from it. but you can recover from the state you are in. "

[rebeltunes]

V ( @sumrai ) : nothing's ever just a conversation with you.

her reaction leaves a sour taste in his mouth that he tries to get rid of with a click of his tongue. this unfortunate person whose brain he lounged on, feet on the coffee table &. all cozy could have seen dark, bloodshot eyes painfully rolling if the digital image allowed to gaze beyond the scratched aviators. " alright. let's say you're the one that struts in front of rogue. " arms uncross to have his metallic hand pointing at the woman in front of him. " she tells you there's no way she can trust you to be in her crew thanks to your gonked up history of fucking things up, dragging everyone around you with you. " his head leans back against the brick wall, arms crossing again in that same defensive posture he always took when talking about serious matters. " trust me, she can be far more ruthless than this . . . and far more stubborn to change her mind. you'll just waste your time going back to same place you started at. " his hand clenches into a fist, thumb pressing against his chest. " i can play her into having our way. know how this shit sounds. but we ain't got no other choice and, in case you haven't noticed, we got no time to waste to save your sorry, dying ass. "