sun’s first light [3/?]
part one, part two
Krypto’s breaths are heavy against her hand. Warm and slow, she thinks he’s probably fallen asleep again. The street is quiet below. Too late- or early?- for people to be out and about.
The lights are faded out when she looks outside. The city as close to silent as it can get to her.
(She knows loud.
Knows it’s Eliza’s hands that tugged down a blanket over her head, pressed headphones over her ears every day those first few weeks, and then at least once a week after. Jeremiah’s chest warm and solid under her cheek, heart thumping too fast, too fast, but they were trying to help.
Always trying to help.)
It’s quiet, but she still- she has to ask again, because she couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”
Clark’s eyes are so, so blue even in the dark, and oh, they’re so similar to Lara’s. He grabs her hand, thumb smoothing down the back of hers to bring her attention back to him. It’s too late to be seeing ghosts in his eyes, in his movements tonight. “I can’t take him.”
Krypto’s paw jumps against her leg, kicks out. She clears her throat, folds a hand over his head until he stills. “You can’t,” her jaw shuts tight. Too tight, too hard, too tense. She forces a breath out, pulling her hand away from Krypto just in case. “Why?”
“I would like to.” He looks down at Krypto, a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips. “Trust me.”
(She wonders what he sees when he looks at Krypto.
A chance to buildup the image of Krypton he has? Thoughts and ideas founded upon the robots and archives he searches through. The Krypton presented to him is cold and advanced. To him, to humans, Krypton is alien.
Does he think the same of Krypto? Of her?)
He leans back, frame too large for the place they’ve taken on the floor between the table and couch. She almost laughs at the picture of Superman hunched over on the floor, puppy curled near his side. “I’m off world so much. Or even when I am here, I’m protecting the city. I can’t-” He rubs at his jaw. “And if he develops powers? What then?”
“We’ll deal with that when the time comes.” Clark shakes his head, sighs out Kara. “Clark, where else can he go?”
(She almost says that he can’t go anywhere else.
That there’s no one prepared to take on a super powered dog. No one who wants that burden. Other than them- or maybe just her.
Then again, she wouldn’t have thought anyone would have wanted her either though, but there the Danvers were.)
“The DEO. They’d be able to take care of him, and he’d be safe.”
“He can’t live there Clark.” She thinks of cold tables and grey walls and barely lit corners. Of aliens locked up floor after floor. The sun only filtering in through the entrance and nowhere else. She squares her shoulders. “If you can’t take him, then he’s staying with me.”
“Kara,” Clark’s voice is soft, almost pleading in a way and she thinks they’re just talking at each other. “You don’t have to,” he stresses.
“It’s not an obligation.” She runs a finger down Krypto’s nose, smiles when it crinkles. He huffs a little at her fingertips, wriggles away. “He’s family.”
“I looked to see if there was any information on him in the Fortress.” Clark smiles, and oh, that? That is Martha’s smile, friendly and content tucked away in the corners. “I can’t translate it completely,” Clark seems irritated by that, but for her, it strikes, cold and sharp, right at her heart, “but I think they had just started training him. Whatever he knows, you’ll probably only find out by speaking Kryptonian.”
“I will.” She leans against Clark. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” Clark pushes off the floor. “Okay.” He takes a step out to the escape, glances over his shoulder. “I’m here if you need me. You know that, right?”
(He means it. His voice earnest and eyes gentle.
But looking at him, halfway in her apartment as he steps out, she can’t help but think it’s a good depiction of them.
Almost there in time. Almost raising him. Almost living with him, learning with him, teaching him. Almost.
Almost but not quite.)
“I know,” she murmurs back. “I’ll call you if I need you,” even though her hands itch for Alex’s presence beside her, unwavering faith in her where Clark is unsure.
“Lois used to have a dog.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll see if she has any tips.”
“I’ll call her up when he starts flying then.”
He laughs, shoulders shaking in turn more for her than actually feeling the laugh. “I’m not sure what use we’ll be with that.”
“Goodnight Clark.”
“Night.”
And then he’s gone, slipping off and into the air.
Heart heavy- she presses a hand against her chest just to make sure it’s still there, because it feels like it’s dragging down- she scoops Krypto up and walks back to her bed.
“Just one night,” she reminds him as he stumbles to the pillow she isn’t using and pads around before dropping down.
(She texts Alex before she pulls the covers over her head.)
The knocks on her door sound one hour later.
Alex is muttering outside her door. Hands on her hips and foot tapping. “Hey, maybe next time don’t send me a text in mixed languages and then not reply.”
Kara grimaces, glancing over to her phone to see it lighting up faintly. Kicking back the covers, she decides to float up rather than disturb Krypto. She just barely keeps her hand from slipping through his fur, looking incredibly fuzzy from where he’s sprawled out.
She rummages through her drawers for Alex’s clothes, ignoring the tapping that’s steadily getting louder in her ears. Taking her time getting to the door, Alex is pacing by the time she opens it. “I fell asleep.”
Alex makes an agreeing noise that really doesn’t? It doesn’t sound like she’s agreeing, more like she’s just humoring her. The narrowed eyes she gets cements that. Boxes are pressed into her hand as Alex takes the clothes from her hands. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only reason that pizza place is open 24 hours a day now.”
She opens the box, breathing in the smell and sighs. “Did you know you’re my favorite sister?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Alex takes one box and puts it in the fridge, waving off her grabbing hands. “No, it’s like four. One is enough. Save this one for breakfast.”
“Fine.” She makes a point to grab the pizza Alex is reaching for, staring at her sister as she bites down. “Did you just get off work?”
“Yes. And we,” Alex says pointing between the two of them, “are going to eat and talk and then I swear if you don’t go to sleep, I’m knocking you out.”
“We can just go to sleep.” Alex’s movements are ranging from slow to jerky, blinking more than normal. “You’re tired.”
“I’m also worried.” Her hand settles on the box and shuts it. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” Alex shifts beside of her, hand grabbing hers and squeezing. She shuts her eyes, feels Alex breathing steadily beside her, hand warm in hers. “Clark came.”
Alex’s face falls. “Okay,” she says slowly.
(There’s always a hint of steel in Alex’s voice whenever they discuss Clark. She’s friendly enough but still reserved when it comes to them interacting. A boundary between the two that Kara isn’t sure can ever be mended.
Alex’s hugs are always tighter after those visits.)
Kara shoves the pizza away from her, nose crinkling at the scent. It was nice at first, familiar and comforting, but now, it’s too much. Alex’s breaths holding in her lungs longer than normal as her sister watches her warily. Krypto’s nails scratching against her sheets. It’s all pressing in on itself, and she just- she just wants to go to sleep. “Can we go lie down first?”
“You okay?” Alex reaches out a hand, keeps it just shy from touching her arm until Kara leans into it. She nods, but it must be too jerky, too fast, because Alex’s frown twists deeper. “Come on.”
She doesn’t think to use her speed. It’s dark and Alex is stumbling around and she follows clumsily after her. Sleeping feels odd now, a weird mix of wanting and needing it so desperately while avoid it at all costs.
(She only remembers the chill. The cold biting at her fingertips until it spread and then- then it stopped, the numbness seeping into in its wake.
There was warmth too though. Of being so close to Rao’s light, of knowing her family would be okay as her last glance was of the stars and the home she had made.
She’s as conflicted now of it all as she was then. Waking up to wires and Alex’s face hovering over her and I got you, it’s okay. Waking up and knowing that she was happy there despite it all.)
Alex’s boots scuff across her floor, harsh when she comes to a stop at her bed. “Krypto’s here.”
Kara drops her chin to her chest. “I know, I know. James said not to let him sleep in the bed, but you try saying no to,” she throws up her hands and settles on pointing at Krypto, because oh, how does she describe him?
“No, I mean,” Alex turns to her, brown eyes searching even though Kara’s half pressed to believe she can’t really see with the lack of light. “You said Clark came.” Alex’s heartbeat picks up, and oh, wow, that’s going to give her a headache. “Oh, Kara.”
It’s said with so much sympathy that tears start welling up in her eyes before she can think to stop them. “It’s fine.” Alex presses her lips into a fine line, tilting her head. “I just- I’m glad he’s here. I just thought that maybe Clark would- or that we’d do it together.”
Alex sighs, “I know.” She takes quiet steps towards Krypto and stares down. Doesn’t say anything for so long that Kara starts rocking on her heels, and it probably hasn’t been that long, but gosh, it feels like it. “So we don’t have to share him on weekends. I can work with this.”
That startles a laugh from her. One she silences quickly when Krypto’s ears perk up.
Alex takes her hand and pats at her knuckles once, twice. When Kara grins and shakes her hand, Alex rolls her eyes, pats it one last time. “We can do this. Me and you.” She looks to the ceiling. “And James and Winn. J’onn was definitely swooning at how cute Krypto is, don’t let him tell you different.”
It’s as comforting as the hug Alex pulls her into. Tight and with so much love that she buries her face into Alex’s shoulder to brush away tears. “I love you.”
“Love you.” Alex turns back to her bed, clicks her tongue. “He’s in my spot.”
“He’s barely taking any room up, just share.”
“Easy for you to say when it’s not your pillow he’s commandeered.”
Kara shoves Alex down- keeps her hands open and fingers splayed, just enough pressure to tilt her sister forward- and pulls the covers over them both. “Don’t be a baby.”
“I’m not.”
“Well,” Kara starts coolly, “you could always just take it from him.” Knows her sister acts tough, but oh, every glance she directs towards Krypto softens immediately, her fingers stretching out as if to pet him.
Alex freezes beside her. “I could if I wanted to,” she snaps, pinches at Kara’s side when she laughs, “but I’m not.”
She coos, “You can’t take it from the cute little puppy.” Kara flops onto her back and throws a hand to her forehead. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”
“Go to sleep Kara.”
Kara waits for it, but when it doesn’t come, she pokes her finger into Alex’s side. “Goodnight, Alex.”
“Goodnight.” Alex slaps her hand away and groans. “Now go to sleep. Please.”
(She remembers it being the first routine the Danvers insisted on. While learning the time meals were- even though it changed so often it was more frustrating than securing- and that the popcorn wasn’t going to explode the microwave, goodnights were said every night.
Even when they were all tired or busy. Especially on the nights there were fights. It was familiar and constant, and oh, it reminded her every night that she had a family again.
Even when Jeremiah wasn’t there to say it as he pressed a kiss against her head like usual, they said it.)
“Goodnight Krypto.”