I don't find you to be short at all, I think you just function in your own way and that is incredible. I think you're right in a sense, this coming from a optimist. I feel as if it's true that humanity as a whole cannon make most progressive decisions. A single human though, can make a progressive decision towards another person and for the short time two have each other, they can pretend everything is okay. As for your illness, I'm sorry. My mother has it too. If you ever need to talk I'm here.
actually i'd give nothing more than to have someone to motivate me, but alas i'm going to be forever alone because of the degree of disgust i carry for humans. until someone magical comes appears in my life, i have nothing to strive for and my existence is pretty much at a standstill. i'm sure things will look up eventually, as life seems to wax and wane just as the moon. but things as of now are new and frightening to say the least. it's such a pain living in such a dismal state.