#sunshineman

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I took Solomon out to play this morning and Swix snuck out behind me without me or the dog noticing. Now Swix is an indoor kitty and if he wasn't it is 20 degrees, with two and a half feet of snow on the ground. Solomon, on the other hand, is a good boy Alaskan dog who loves the cold.

So while Swix is regretting his life choices me and the puppy are rambling around playing fetch, rolling in the snow. When I finally turn round, he is sitting three and a half feet from the door on top of an amazon package insulating his tootsies from the cold cold ground, waiting indignantly for somone to notice and get him out of this situation that he very much got himself into.

Solomon is good with the cats for the most part, but he does know he's allowed to play a lot rougher outside than inside. But rather than doing anything rambunctious, he trots up to Swix, and just looks at him with an adorable inquisitive lil head tilt, like, "what are you doing out here? Are you here for playtime too?"

So I opened the door for Swix, which made Solomon very sad cause he didn't think playtime should be over yet, and the cat busts ass inside, and beelines upstairs into the bed, where Sunshineman is asleep in the middle of the day because he's on night shift.

Swix is a practiced hand at finding the warm and cozy spots and i'm not super sure where exactly that was, but Solomon and I could hear the squealing of cold kitty toes meeting sleepy manflesh from all the way downstairs and out the door.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Like clockwork, every year, sometime past the solstice, before anything could be feasible for early spring, Sunshine Man destroys the living room. Every year. Utterly destroyed. There are powertools and wood glue involved.

Cabin fever real

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Sunshine man is never beating the backwoods cryptic allegations. He is however cemented as the coolest uncle ever so there's that.

Caught a snowshoe hare with his bare hands and brought the squirming wild fluffy animal back to the house so the neices could see it.

Proudly called me to tell me he has a better prey drive than the cats. Also sent pics.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

The ongoing saga of sunshineman picking up weird shit off the side of the road continues. This entry fits neatly into "incongruously nice and will probably be missed but there's no way to know where it came from or to get it back to its owner". It also fits into the "mine now!" catagory and I'd like to point out that while there is decent overlap they are distinct groups.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Would you like to know what my loving beautiful darling husband did to me this morning?! Do you? Of course you do this is the land of the gossip hounds and the only reason social media exists.

So sunshineman's brother is competing at the Olympics, we're all very excited and proud and whatnot. And because the Olympics is primarily a marketing event we (various friends and family members at home) are supposed to film a quick 20 second video wishing him and team USA good luck ski fast that kind of thing, so it can be played at the opening ceremonies.

Sunshineman was told to do this some time over the weekend. That's great. I could have found some picturesque spot and rallied all of my various animals (all named after ski brands because I like a theme and love the bit) and we could have done a cute little well wishing video. That is not what happened.

Seven thirty, monday morning, as I am chiseling the ice off my car in the dark, Sunshineman swings into the driveway, home from night shift. Tells me the thing. When do we need this by? I ask, thinking about availability of daylight and conflicting work schedules.

Now, says he, the love of my life and partner in all things including apparently our unmedicated poorly managed adhd. We need to get it sent in by noon.

Dear reader, I do not look nice when I go to work. I am not paid to be pretty. There is a lot of singeing things with fire and a hefty dose of wrestling with large muddy objects at work. I dress accordingly. I am sure as shit not wasting my time, money, and energy with makeup to go to work. I make pretty things, I do not have to be the pretty thing. I am on my fourth consecutive month of hat hair.

But I will be perfectly honest. That is not what I want to look like for a well wishing video that's going to end up on the international broadcast.

I already sent well wishes with my brother in law, btw, via text and saying nice things to his face in person. Like a human being. But now he has a scuzzy dark video of me and sunshine man in the snow squawking at him to ski fast and go team USA. And as bad as that video is, its way more marketable than the text based Olympic mustache jokes that were the sincere version.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

"Hey honey! Where's the paper that was at my desk?! It was right under my keyboard it had all my important passwords on it! Did you throw it away? Oh nvmd, I found it crumpled up on the floor." - my husband, who is 32 years old

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Currently in the midst of apocalyptic temperature swings but that means the kitty can go outside for a walk. Unfortunately my husband takes pictures like a nonagenarian and Swix isn't helping.

He doesn't like the ice

[sea-salted-wolverine]

For so many reasons, my sister's black tie formal wedding is not the time or place to rock the sartorial boat. However, as I hunt down an outfit for me n my spouse, I would look so soo good in a suit.

Sunshineman might actually go into arrhythmia and die if he wore a dress in public where human beings could see him. And I would look so much better than him in a suit. We could not do the matching / complimentary couple thing. There is the possibility sunshine man could go into anaphylactic shock from any clothing more involved than jeans actually. A suit jacket could very well traumatize him into organ shutdown.

I can scrub up and look hot in fancy clothes even if I don't often get the opportunity. I'm not worried about me. My plus one on the other hand is another issue.

This wedding is four months away.