Rare Cryptid: gulo gulo halis

A human person on the internet, hoarding tumble posts like a dragon, with an Alaskan Gothic flair, call me Salt

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Get off tumblr and get some damn work done

Or y'know, if thats not gonna happen, i have a tagging system nominally in place for your browsing pleasure. But I'm human and I miss a bunch so no promises.

Cat tag is #adventures of my sharp and fluffy roommate

All the specifically Alaskan goodies should be under #from the far north

Hunting is just classed as #hunting and I'm trying to catch all gun mentions under #firearms for filtering purposes

My husband has his own tag and its #sunshineman

I use #garden of the wolverine and #kitchen of the wolverine for all the nonsense I get up to there.

#Wolverine warbles is just my talking tag and I've been trying to cashe all my original posts as that

My doodles and drawings and paintins and otherwise should all be tagged as #my art. Probably. Maybe.

I also have an art blog which I use as a reference repository and portfolio. Its @sea-salted-wolverine-arts, but I only use it as an organization tool so everything there has definitely shown up here at least once.

But seriously, you've probably been on Tumblr for too long today. Go do something offline.

[do-you-ship-this-book-couple]

Do you ship...

Jane Bennet & Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice)

Yes, I ship them

I'm neutral about them

No, I don't ship them

In a fucked up way because it compels me

Not before but now I'm intrigued

Platonically

They're divorced

I don't know them

Remaining time: 5 days 13 hours

[visvimulator]

INUIT COAT IT *FIL EXCLUSIVE

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Okay, here's the deal, sailors swear because their mommy isn't there to tell them to knock it off. Construction workers swear because they just drove a nail through their thumb. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

[bonivers]

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

[trickstarbrave]

[jessaerys]

sometimes i legit forget that not everyone plays "was that random 2 am fireworks or gunshots" in the back of their mind before forgetting in approximately 2 seconds like three to six times a week. unironically i love da city so it's not even a complaint as much as i'm just marveling at the human adaptive capacity. i'm filtering out noise on autopilot that would kill people who are probably enjoying a beautiful starry sky every night

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Babe no, the rural kids are laying in bed hearing distant bangs at 2am and thinking, "that better fuckin be gunshots because if those jackasses are setting off fireworks in a drought I will be obligated to shoot them myself" and then rolling over and going to sleep. But youre right about the constant traffic noise murdering the delicate backwoods constitution tho.

[lustcannibalism]

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Surprising absolutely nobody i have elected to go the unhinged pendant nerd route with my fan fiction, alá Tolkien.

I'm just translating this shit. Wierd localizations are a choice.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Currently writing a psudo-academic foreword complete with intext citations from the 24th century. If it's an interspecies collaboration the first author cited is the one who's language the work is presented in. You catch soo much shade for citing translations that weren't approved by the original authors, but it's a popular pursuit of grad students with lofty ideals about assessiblity inacademics. Publish or perish is interstellar and will outlast the heat death of the universe.

This has almost nothing to do with the actual fic btw

[sea-salted-wolverine]

"eat shit" translates directly

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Surprising absolutely nobody i have elected to go the unhinged pendant nerd route with my fan fiction, alá Tolkien.

I'm just translating this shit. Wierd localizations are a choice.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Currently writing a psudo-academic foreword complete with intext citations from the 24th century. If it's an interspecies collaboration the first author cited is the one who's language the work is presented in. You catch soo much shade for citing translations that weren't approved by the original authors, but it's a popular pursuit of grad students with lofty ideals about assessiblity inacademics. Publish or perish is interstellar and will outlast the heat death of the universe.

This has almost nothing to do with the actual fic btw

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Surprising absolutely nobody i have elected to go the unhinged pendant nerd route with my fan fiction, alá Tolkien.

I'm just translating this shit. Wierd localizations are a choice.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Some people may believe 3 cups of coffee on a Sunday morning to be excessive, but since I only got maybe a mouthful of any of those coffees before they were stolen, spilled or otherwise yeeted into oblivion, im feeling pretty reasonable.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to consume a hot liquid while also functioning as a jungle gym? Did you know that most people will assume that if you are currently functioning as a jungle gym you aren't drinking your coffee? Were you aware that human bodies currently functioning as jungle gyms cannot hold a mug of coffee for shit? Did you know if you add a puppy to this equation, he will stick his tongue in the coffee and make the whole thing that much more chaotic?

At one point I had 130 pounds of human and canine babies who love me very much, sitting on me. And my coffee.

Wailing piteously for assistance only netted me cooing about how adorable we all are.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I forgot to mention the pouring rain. Please accept this notes app doodle of the situation.

[roberteke]

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Some people may believe 3 cups of coffee on a Sunday morning to be excessive, but since I only got maybe a mouthful of any of those coffees before they were stolen, spilled or otherwise yeeted into oblivion, im feeling pretty reasonable.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to consume a hot liquid while also functioning as a jungle gym? Did you know that most people will assume that if you are currently functioning as a jungle gym you aren't drinking your coffee? Were you aware that human bodies currently functioning as jungle gyms cannot hold a mug of coffee for shit? Did you know if you add a puppy to this equation, he will stick his tongue in the coffee and make the whole thing that much more chaotic?

At one point I had 130 pounds of human and canine babies who love me very much, sitting on me. And my coffee.

Wailing piteously for assistance only netted me cooing about how adorable we all are.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Some people may believe 3 cups of coffee on a Sunday morning to be excessive, but since I only got maybe a mouthful of any of those coffees before they were stolen, spilled or otherwise yeeted into oblivion, im feeling pretty reasonable.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

[dollsahoy]

There are a lot of people in the notes saying, basically, "Yeah, that's polyester for ya!"

but, the thing is

even polyester fabric was higher quality in the past

yes, not all of it, but, still, a noticeable amount of older polyester was...nicer.

yeah, it would still get picks and hold on to every bit of underarm odor, and that's on top of no-one knowing about microplastic shedding

but a 1950s Wash'n'Wear shirt, or 1970s double knit pantsuit, or 1980s neon sweatshirt, or a 1990s slinky knit or crushed velour mock turtleneck...so many of them would have been significantly higher quality than the fast fashion of today.

[sofairycakes]

i work in historical costume. i work in a big-ass warehouse, with hundreds of thousands articles of clothing dating back over 100 years (for original pieces).

the BLINDING difference in clothing quality between even the 1990s and the mid-2000s...not even going in to the decline in quality of clothing made in natural fibers (jeans with elastane, i'm looking at you), I've got faux-leather trousers from 1980s that are in near-mint condition, even after being hired and worn repeatedly for the past 40 years. we get donations of clothing that shows and films have bought online for contemporary shows that are disintegrating after being used on one show, for like....10 days, max.

don't even get me started on the seam allowances we used to get in clothes, because the assumption was you'd alter it at some point...

they hate you. they hate the planet. they have drip fed you worse and worse quality clothing until you don't even realize you're being sold Garbage

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[byjove]

As your president, I will be auctioning off all of the states and territories I have not visited. Obviously, we do not need them as I am not using them. That means the United States of America will now consist of New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Delaware, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Florida, Washington DC, Saint Croix, Saint Thomas and Puerto Rico. The good news is that Washington DC, Saint Croix, Saint Thomas and Puerto Rico have all been given statehood to make up for the states we lost, the bad news is that we have lost California’s $4.251 trillion GDP.

[byjove]

No no no, you misunderstand. I’m giving California back to Mexico as a gesture of goodwill.

[alytyler]

That sounds wonderful! Will the states that were not part of Mexico previously also be given to Mexico? Or will they go to Canada or some other country?

[byjove]

Nah. California is the only freebie. They’re going to have to buy back New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Arizona and Texas. I may give Canada a deal on Michigan but they’re not getting anything for free.

[kaleb0]

How the hell do you think Delaware is of more use than California?

[byjove]

I’ve never been there so obviously we don’t need it.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Alaskans have started nuclear war with China and Russia simultaneously. There was no way to predict this outcome. Also we made a scary face in Canadas direction.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Ran into my best friend i haven't seen in nearly a decade, and it turns out he's just been off grid for a while. As in literally lives at the end of the road system on a solar set up.