Now I want to know that embarrassing story involving pants. Or should I go ask Ethari?
why do you always manage to find me when I’m talking about pants that’s so specific
*reluctant grumble* Moon help me, I have to tell you, or Ethari will.
Listen. There was an… incident last year. Involving the training room, me, and a pair of Ethari’s nice baggy pants. I just padded down early in the morning for a nice workout and grabbed some folded clothes off the top of the laundry basket, and I guess I was still half asleep from being up late the night before because I didn’t notice that I’d picked up a pair of Ethari’s pants instead of mine. And then I thought: training challenge!
I’m used to skin tight pants that don’t catch on anything. That’s the whole point of wearing them that tight. okay it’s 72% of the point I do have nice legs But Ethari’s pants are always very loose and comfortable. So I decided to try my warm-up routine in his pants anyway, to see if I could keep my form, instead of heading back upstairs for a pair of my own.
Spoilers: I could not keep my form.
*grumbly sigh, cheeks flush because this is so embarrassing* I was twenty feet up in the rafters when they started to slip. I adore Ethari’s shape, every inch of it, but it’s thiccer than mine, and I hadn’t calculated for my own lanky ass being such a drawback. Usually it’s quite the asset. or so he tells me
Anyway. The pants slipped mid-leap, I changed my trajectory just a little too much trying to catch them, and I fell off my landing ledge.
And then the waistband caught on the edge of the ledge and peeled me out of them as I fell.
And then my feet got tangled in the bottoms of the pant legs and I was left swinging upside down by my ankles in just a workout shirt and a very sassy pair of boxer briefs. I was so high up my hair didn’t even touch the floor.
I would’ve been fine, if a touch grumpy with myself for making such a half-assed ahaha decision with the pants, except then things got worse.
Before I could pull myself up and set myself in order again, someone walked in the training room door below me.
*closes my eyes, rubs my temple* And it wasn’t Ethari.
I… I have never made such an undignified noise in my life. And it was loud. I think I woke the moonsquirrels that nest under the steps outside. I was certain I’d just lost all credibility with Rayla. How could I ask her to do anything, ever again, if she’d always remember me dangling in midair in a pair of glow-in-the-dark undies with a mesh rainbow arching across my butt under the words “Full Moon”? *hides my face in my hands* I’ve never wanted to be already dead so fast.
But she’s more forgiving–and good-humored–than I am, I suppose.
“What’s that move called?” she asked, as I dangled above her. I can’t believe she thought I’d do that on purpose.
There was no salvaging the situation, so I just told her, “It’s called grabbing the wrong pants in the dark, and I must say I can’t recommend it.”
‘Oh!” I could hear her realization that I was hip deep in a complete disaster, and that she was witnessing it. But she was very generous–she spun around politely while I clambered back up, wrangled myself back into Ethari’s pants which is way more fun when he’s the one wearing them, and hopped down. As I stalked past her, clutching the pants tightly so that problem never happened again, I murmured, “We will never speak of this. Don’t make me get the binding ribbon.”
She was quick to say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Didn’t see a thing. I won’t get here for another five minutes.”
But I couldn’t go train with her, even in the right pants, after that. I was just too embarrassed. I headed back upstairs, dropped Ethari’s pants in the laundry room so I could wash off all that embarrassment, and clambered back into bed beside him so I could bury my head under my pillow.
“Didn’t you get up for training already?” he mumbled.
“You have your workout shirt on.”
“Mmmm. It’s a nice dream.”
Maybe for him. More of a nightmare for me.
When I finally got up, Rayla did her best to pretend she hadn’t seen what she’d seen, but I could see that twinkle in the corner of her eye, and she laughed into her OJ for “no reason at all” at breakfast. Ethari just rolled with it, because he’s the best husband in the world. I did tell him what happened, eventually, and he assured me it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but he’s just so very wrong about that. I’ve made sure never to train in my full moon boxer briefs ever again. Just in case.
Now please excuse me, I need to go die of embarrassment in peace.
