Feb 6
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Do you know how to make friends?
Yes, and I would say I'm successful at it
Yes, but I struggle with it
Yes, but I rarely succeed
Yes, but I don't have friends
Sort of; I would say I'm successful at it
Sort of; I struggle with it
Sort of; I rarely succeed
Sort of, but I don't have friends
No, and yet I'm successful at it
No, I struggle with it
No, I rarely succeed
No, I don't have friends
We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
APPROACHING PEOPLE
✶: approaching people, especially today, can be difficult due to insecurities, lack of social interaction, anxiety, or whatever other fears one could have when it comes to this topic.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
✶: not knowing what to say is typically a big reason we don't approach people. starting up conversation may seem difficult depending on the person you are trying to talk to. my biggest tips are to either find something you both find interest in, talk about everyday topic (school, hobbies, music, etc), or starting off with a compliment. here's some conversation starter examples!!
✶- "I love your shirt, where's it from?" (starting off with a compliment often helps you give off more of a friendly approach that may make it easier for them to talk to you. asking questions often leads to more conversation!!)
✶- (classmate) "the test was more challenging than I thought, how'd it go for you?" (finding common things to conversate over gives you both a flow for conversation. you could also change this around for a workspace or another setting)
MINDSET
✶-cultivating a new mindset could definitely play a huge part on how you interact or approach people. we often feel self conscious about things like out appearance, our mannerisms, etcetera, when it comes to talking to new people.
✶- believe it or not, 90% of the time, the people we talk to don't even know the tiny things you're beating yourself up over. so changing your mindset could make a huge difference when it comes to approaching others.
✶- for example: instead of having the mindset of "they're looking at my hair because it looks bad", instead, think "they're looking at my hair because my hair looks extra good today" (this may take a little bit of delusion 😉)
I’m a little sad people get startled when I talk to them on here sometimes…. I just like making friends… people are cool.
I promise I’m not scary… I’m just autistic and wanna ramble with you…
Attention, people with ADHD, autism, and anyone who has trouble with talking to people and keeping friends:
Hello! I'm one of you. When I was younger, I would have so much trouble having friends. I'm still not very good at it, but I will tell you what has made it better.
1. I learned the local sign language alphabet. When people are talking, my head fills up with things I want to say. I used to either interrupt people, or I would be so focused on not interrupting and waiting for my turn that I wouldn't actually listen to them.
Now, I use the sign alphabet to remember what I want to say. So if I want to talk about dolphins, I hold the D shape. I leave the remembering to my hand. This lets me listen to what the other person is saying. You could use a notepad or a phone, as long as you do it quickly.
2. I learned how to engage the other person. This is so hard. I want to ramble on and on! But people generally don't like that. They want to talk with you, not be talked at.
I would make pauses in my speech, so they could talk. I would ask questions. I wasn't very good at asking questions at first. I would say, "isn't that cool?" That doesn't give someone much to respond to. So...
3. I learned to ask open ended questions, like "What do you think about this character's choice?"
4. I learned that I needed to find common interests. I'm lucky because I can talk about a wide variety of topics. If you can't, I suggest you find clubs or forums for your special interest. You could also try to find something related to it. For example, if you like Steven Universe, and the other person is interested in gem stones, you could ask them about the real life properties of diamonds versus pearls and things.
As much as I want to talk all day about the show I just watched, I need to find someone who wants to hear it. If I'm with someone who doesn't like that kind of thing, I need to talk about something we both like. If I just met them, I can ask what their hobbies or favorite shows are, or I can ask them if they like my favorite stuff.
Sometimes I can get my friends into the stuff I'm into, but that's not always the case. And that's okay. I can open myself up to trying out things they're interested in.
hii talk 2 me (especially about emo music but anything really)
#TOMMY🐌🍃🐈MAKING FRIENDS🐾
@samirafee
