#survivingasexuality

[survivingasexuality]

Hey, my lovely aspecs. It’s been a while, but I just want to pop in and say a thing. 

I’d like you to do something for me. Practice saying these sentences.

“The validity of my identity is not up for debate.” “My place in the LGBT/Queer community is not up for debate.” “My personal experiences are not up for debate.” These three sentences are all you need to respond to aphobes. Remember that they are a loud minority. Remember that LGBTQIA+ organizations already accept you. Remember that a majority of LGBTQIA+ people don’t partake in “ace discourse” because there is nothing to argue. 

“The validity of my identity is not up for debate.” “My place in the LGBT/Queer community is not up for debate.” “My personal experiences are not up for debate.”

[survivingasexuality]

Happy Asexual Awareness Week~!

Hello my lovelies. I hope you’re all having a good week. 

It’s Asexual Awareness Week, so I hope you guys are finding some solidarity and friends that share your identity and your experiences. Do your best to stay away from discourse, and instead indulge yourself in things that you enjoy. Perhaps think about finding yourself some sweet Ace merch if you can. 

I know I’ve been a bit absent from this blog, but I just wanted to pop in and let y’all know that you are loved, valid, and deserve the world. 

[survivingasexuality]

Coming Out Day

Hey, I know I’ve been absent from this blog for a while (things have been ludicrous for me) but I just want to say Happy National Coming Out Day!

This day is for you if you’re aspec in any way. I know a lot of people will tell you that this day isn’t for you, but it is. 

If you’re planning to come out to friends or family today, I wish you the best of luck and commend you for being so brave. I wish you luck on explaining our lesser known identity to people who may not know about aromanticism or asexuality yet.

And if you’re not ready, or you’re not safe to do so, there is no shame in not coming out. Your safety is of the utmost importance, and you don’t need to put yourself in danger to be more “valid”. 

Stay safe out there. Love you guys! 

[survivingasexuality]

Happy Pride Month to all my arospec friends in loving and fulfilling QPRs. Your relationships are valid and wonderful, and you deserve love in the ways that fit you best. <3

Happy Pride Month to all my arospec friends who are single and ready to mingle. Be safe out there, you’ll find someone who clicks just perfectly one day.<3

Happy Pride Month to all my arospec friends who are single and loving it. There’s nothing wrong with being completely uninterested in relationships with other people -- your relationship with yourself is just as important. <3

Happy Pride Month to all my polyamorous arospec friends who are in many different relationships. I hope that you’re all happy and comfortable, and that your relationships last for as long as you desire. <3

Happy Pride Month of all my arospec friends who aren’t out yet, who are struggling with their arospec identities, who aren’t quite sure yet, who are too afraid to claim their label(s). Whatever you decide, however you need to keep yourself safe, this month is still for you even if you have to make yourself invisible. <3

Happy Pride Month to all my arospec friends. I know it’s easy to feel forgotten. But I see you, and I love you, and I’m hoping that you’re celebrating yourself this month! <3

[survivingasexuality]

If you’re aspec because of your neurodivergency, that’s cool.

I’m Autistic and Aspec -- and personally, I’m pretty sure that I’m Aspec, in part, because of my Autism. That doesn’t, however, make my aspec identities less valid or real.

Same for everyone else. 

Your brain is your own, your identities are your own. They will undoubtedly have influence on each other. It can be hard to know what came first, what’s pushing the other, but that doesn’t really matter cos both your neurodivergency and your aspec identity don’t need an explanation. 

Be unapologetically neurodivergent and unapologetically aspec. 

[survivingasexuality]

I don’t want to make too many posts and burn myself out, but this is on my dash a lot right now so I want to say this:

If you are arospec but not acespec, you are not an inherently abusive or manipulative person.

The fact that you experience a lower than average or lack of romantic attraction doesn’t make you an abuser. It doesn’t make you manipulative. It doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of developing deep, personal, and even intimate relationships with other people.

It just means you’re arospec. That’s all.

Arospec people are more than capable of love, more than capable of being loving partners. There are many, many different kinds of love, and the idea that romantic love is The One True Love™ is untrue.

Your relationships to others are yours to build. So long as there’s healthy, open communication, then you do you. 

And arospecs who want nothing to do with anything remotely involving romance, the stereotypical view of love, or committed relationships? They’re totally fine too! Being in relationships and what kind of relationships you get into is a completely personal choice. So long as you are open and honest about your intentions with other people then you are in no way being manipulative. Communication is key.

You don’t owe anyone any sort of relationship. 

In the theme of my last two posts: Be unapologetically arospec. You’re perfect. 

[survivingasexuality]

Hey everybody. Sorry about the long pause, I’ve been really busy, but I just wanted to make this post.

It’s Pride Month, and Pride Month is for all Aspecs. 

If you fit anywhere under the aspec umbrella, this month is yours to celebrate. This month is for you to be proud of who you are, to connect with other community members, and to celebrate yourself.  

Pride Month is about community, solidarity, and support. Link up with your fellow aspecs, your fellow LGBTQIA+, Queer, and MOGAI friends. Support each other. Validate each other. Protect each other. 

Block everyone who tries to tell you that this month is not for you. It absolutely is, and absolutely always will be. 

[survivingasexuality]

To all those Demiromantics and Demisexuals out there:

Your identity isn’t a modifier, unless you actively choose it identify it that way. Your identity is yours and only you can choose how it should be described, how it works, and how it applies to you. 

Being Demi can be kind of weird. It’s like an in-between place of being allo and aspec. Some of us don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction ever, some of us feel strange flutterings of it, some of us are punched in the face by it once in a blue moon.

Regardless of your relationship to romantic or sexual attraction, your choice to identify as demi is a valid one that is deserving of respect. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, who tries to tell you that you should “just identify as bi or pan” or that your identity is just a “modifier”, isn’t worth your time and does not respect you as a human being. 

Your identity cannot be chosen or defined by someone else, especially not anyone who doesn’t share your identity, and not by people who “used to” share your identity. 

If you are demisexual, demiromantic, or both -- good on you!