I feel like someone needs to say this, because it keeps getting glossed over whenever we talk about TSITP.
And yes, I know it’s an unpopular opinion.
But Susannah actually caused a lot of emotional damage — and just because she died doesn’t mean all of that suddenly disappears.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not comparing her to Laurel or (god forbid) Adam. Because if we start using them as the baseline for “what makes a good parent”, literally anyone on this planet would win parent of the year.
But the truth is: Susannah clearly favored one of her boys — and she did it in a way that was honestly pretty messed up.
It wasn’t just subtle. She constantly romanticized Conrad’s pain, turned him into this tragic/beautiful metaphor, and completely ignored the way Jeremiah was hurting too. Conrad was “her poetic boy”. Her “melancholic artist”. Jeremiah was… what? The sunshine to keep the mood up?
And I think the reason so many people overlook it is because she was sweet. She smiled. She hugged. She called them her “boys boys boys”. So it’s easy to pretend it was harmless.
But love that’s unequal still hurts, even if it comes with flowers and soft lighting.
And I’m sorry — but that favoritism had real consequences.
Conrad grew up internalizing the idea that his pain mattered. That his sadness was something worth everyone’s attention. Jeremiah learned the opposite: that he has to be okay, because there’s no room for his pain when someone else is suffering.
And the saddest part is: Susannah never even tried to change that dynamic. She leaned into it. She let it happen. Sometimes she even encouraged it.
And yes, I know she was sick. I know she loved her kids. I’m not denying that.
But love doesn’t undo damage.
And the fact that everyone immediately compares her to Laurel and Adam (two of the absolute worst examples of parenting) makes it even easier to label her as “the good one” — instead of acknowledging that maybe all three of them failed those boys in different ways.
And honestly? Another thing nobody talks about are those letters she wrote for their future weddings. That might look sweet at first, but if you really think about it… she basically already decided what kind of future each of them would have – before they even had a chance to choose anything for themselves. That’s not just “thoughtful”. That’s projecting. And it shows again how much her wishes and ideas came before what her sons might actually want or need. And the worst part is: Jeremiah didn’t even receive his own letter. He ended up holding the one written for Conrad – and that moment literally broke him. It shattered everything he believed about his mom, and honestly? It’s one of the reasons he let Belly go.
So yeah. Maybe this isn’t what people want to hear. Maybe it’s unpopular. But it’s still the truth.
Susannah wasn’t the sweet, perfect, faultless mom that the show (and some of the fandom) wants her to be.
She loved deeply — but she loved unequally.
And that left scars.