Silence means War pt. 1
things get a bit too silent and Deadpool decided things needed a bit... spicing up.
SFW ONLY!!! This is Deadpool and wolverine so if you dont like that, scroll away!! Word count: 1,420. Fic under the cut!! Ill make part two soon!!
The safehouse had officially reached that dangerous level of quiet.Not peaceful quiet. Not calm quiet.The kind of quiet that made Logan’s instincts itch.Because Wade Wilson was being quiet.Logan sat at the small table, slowly dragging a cloth along one of his claws, eyes narrowed—not at the blade, but at the *silence*.
“…You plannin’ somethin’?” he muttered.
From somewhere behind him, Wade gasped like he’d just been accused of a crime. “Wow. Wow, Logan. I’m hurt.”
Logan didn’t turn around. “That’d require you to have feelings.”
“I do have feelings. They’re just… mostly about chimichangas and violence.”
“Yeah. That tracks.” There was a soft shuffle of movement. Too soft.Logan’s grip tightened slightly on the cloth.“…You’re bein’ sneaky.”
“I am *never* sneaky,” Wade said, voice suddenly much closer than it should’ve been. “I’m *dramatic*.”
Logan turned just in time——to catch Wade mid-lunge.Their hands locked for a split second, Logan’s reflexes kicking in automatically. He twisted, stepping to the side, redirecting the momentum like it was nothing.
“Really?” Logan said flatly. “That’s your plan?”Wade grinned under the mask. “That was Phase One.”“There’s a Phase Two?”“Oh, absolutely.”Logan barely had time to narrow his eyes before—Wade went completely limp.“…What the hell—”
Wiggle.Right at his sides.Logan *jerked* back instinctively, grip loosening for half a second—and Wade immediately snapped back into motion.“AND THAT’S PHASE TWO—!”Wade twisted out of Logan’s hold and darted behind him, arms wrapping around Logan’s torso in a quick, tight hold.“Gotcha!” Wade announced proudly.Logan went still.Not struggling yet. Just… still.“…You got about two seconds to rethink this,” he said.
Wade leaned his head slightly closer, clearly enjoying himself way too much.“Or what?”Logan didn’t answer.He just shifted his weight—and in one smooth, controlled movement, broke the hold like it was nothing, grabbing Wade’s wrist and flipping their positions.Suddenly, Wade was the one pinned—back against the wall, arms trapped.
“Or that,” Logan finished.There was a pause.Then Wade tilted his head.“…Worth it.”Logan’s eye twitched.“You don’t learn, do you?”“Nope.”“Good.”And then—no warning—Logan went straight for his sides.Fast. Efficient. No buildup.Wade *lost it immediately*, laughter bursting out of him as he twisted in place.
“OKAHAHAHAY—WOW—STRAHAHAHAIGHT TO VIOHOHOLENCE—”“You started it.”“THIS ISN’T EVRHEHEN—FAHAHAIR—”Logan didn’t say anything else, but there was a definite shift—his movements turning more deliberate. Not dragging it out, not teasing much—just quick, reactive, like he was testing what worked.
“…Huh,” Logan muttered.“Oh no—don’t—dohohohon’t ‘huh’—”“That’s a bad spot.”“DON’T—ANAHAHALYZE—MEHEHE—”Too late.Logan adjusted slightly—and yeah, that got an even stronger reaction.Wade’s knees buckled a little. “OKAHAHAHAY —OKAY—HOLD ON—TRUCEHEHEHE—”Logan paused.He studied him for a second.“…You mean it?”Wade froze for half a beat.“…Yeheheah.”Logan let go.There was exactly one second of peace.Then- Wade dove forward again.“YOU NEVER LEARN—”“NEITHER DO YOU—”
This time, Wade moved smarter.He ducked low, twisted behind Logan, and locked his arms around him again—tighter, more controlled.“Round two, baby,” Wade said, clearly way too pleased with himself.Logan exhaled slowly.“…You’re annoyin’.”“Aw, you say the sweetest things.”Wade lifted his hands slightly, fingers hovering near Logan’s sides.Slow.Deliberate.Wiggling just enough to be obvious.“…Don’t,” Logan warned.
“Ohhh, what’s the matter?” Wade teased, dragging it out. “You seemed *real confident* a second ago.”His fingers drifted closer.Paused.Pulled back.Closer again.Logan tensed—not struggling yet, but clearly waiting.“You hesitatin’?” Logan said.“I’m savoring the moment.”“You’re stalling.”“I’m building suspense.”“…You’re gonna regret that.”“Yeah? Prove it.”And that was all it took.Wade’s fingers landed.Light at first.Then quick.Logan’s shoulders jerked slightly—just enough.Wade *lit up*.“Oh my GOD—there it is—”“Shut—up—”“Nope! Not happening!”
Wade sped up slightly, laughter slipping into his voice now. “Wow, Logan, didn’t know you had—”That’s when Logan moved.Fast.He shifted his weight, hooked Wade’s leg, and *dragged him down with him* in one sudden motion.“—OKAY THAT BACKFIRED—”They hit the floor in a messy tangle—and Logan immediately rolled, flipping them again so Wade ended up pinned underneath.“No more talkin’,” Logan muttered.“Wow, bold of you to assume that’s possible—”
Logan cut him off the only way that worked.Right back to his sides.Wade burst into laughter again, twisting, trying to block—but yeah, not very successfully.And from there?It turned into chaos.Not controlled.Not clean.Just constant back-and-forth.Wade would get a quick advantage—only for Logan to overpower him again. Logan would pin him—only for Wade to slip out in some unpredictable, ridiculous way.At one point, Wade literally used the wall to kick himself sideways just to break free.
“THAT SHOHOHOULD NOT HAHAHAHAVE WORKED—”“It did.”“STOP MAHAHAHAKING IT WOHOHOHORSE—”Logan, despite himself, was starting to look *slightly* amused.Which was a mistake.Because Wade noticed immediately.“Ohhh, there it is again,” Wade said, grinning. “You’re enjoying this.”“I’m not.”“You are.”“I’m really not.”“You so are—”Logan lunged again.Wade dodged—barely—but ended up cornered against the couch.“…Okay, timeout—strategic pause—”
“No.”“That’s not very sportsmanlike—HEY—”Logan grabbed him again, quick and solid, holding him in place.“Gotcha,” Logan said.Wade went still for a second.“…Yeah,” he said slowly. “You do.”There was a pause.Then Wade wiggled his fingers again.Logan didn’t even hesitate this time.“Don’t even—”Too late.They both moved at the same time.And somehow—*both* of them ended up trying to get the upper hand at once, which resulted in neither of them succeeding and both of them just… collapsing back onto the floor again.Breathing heavier now.Not tired-tired.Just… worn down enough.There was a long pause.“…You done?” Logan asked.“…Define ‘done,’”
Wade replied.“…Not startin’ this again.”“…Okay, yeah. Done.”Another pause.Quiet again.Safer this time.Logan leaned back slightly, exhaling.“…You’re a problem.”“I’m *the* problem.”“…Yeah.”A few seconds passed.Then—Wade slowly lifted his hand.Wiggled his fingers.Logan immediately grabbed his wrist.“Don’t.”“…Worth a shot.”Logan shook his head—but there was a faint smirk there now.And honestly?Neither of them were fooling anyone.Because yeah.Round two was definitely coming.