Short People Problems
Mario and Donkey Kong are doing obstacle courses and casually teasing the hell out of each other. But one joke about being short ends up making Mario discover something about Donkey Kong he NEVER would've expected. But...Being short means you gotta be extra careful messing with a large gorilla.
Thanks to @theybibsxi for helping me with this fanfic! And this fanfic was based on some headcanons I made a while back. I hope you all enjoy!
Also, I will be spending the next week on vacation with family. Though I will likely continue writing during this time, I won't be uploading any more fanfics until next Saturday. So...I'm hopping off for the week. Try not to die while I'm gone! <3
Mario and Donkey Kong were walking around the Mushroom kingdom, just chilling out and smashing whatever bricks they found and using whatever power ups they could come across. Though they weren’t really best buds quite yet, they were still getting to know each other a lot better now. Though, that didn’t mean they didn’t taunt each other now and again…
Mario had pulled himself up onto a group of floating bricks and sprinted across them.
“Move it, shorty.” Donkey Kong jumped up and hit the brick right below Mario’s feet, making Mario fall through the hole. Mario yelped as he felt his stomach ascend into his chest as he fell to the ground.
Though Donkey Kong was a funnyman, he wasn’t a jerk who was gonna let Mario fall on his face. So he caught Mario with his hand as he ran.
But Mario clearly didn’t approve of such heroism. “I’m not a baby.” Mario muttered.
“Prove it, then!” Donkey Kong declared as he gave him a good throw into the air to reach the next platform.
Mario soared through the air and landed on his feet onto the platform before taking off running again. Mario sprinted up the stairs and headed to the elevator. He went up the elevator before heading to the two walls. Now, Mario had done his fair share of wall-jumps. So this part was gonna be easy for him. Mario jumped up once towards the left wall. When he landed, he jumped off the left wall to get to the right wall. When he got to the right wall, he jumped off it to get to the left wall again. Repeat this a few times, and you successfully wall-jump a wall.
When Mario reached the top of the wall, Donkey Kong ran by him. “Not bad, Red.” Donkey Kong reacted.
“Thanks.” Mario replied.
“For an amateur, anyway.” Donkey Kong added with a laugh.
Mario rolled his eyes and followed him. “Did you really need to add that last part?” Mario asked.
“Well I didn’t want you thinking I’m complimenting you or something.” Donkey Kong replied.
“You worried about being seen as a softy?” Mario asked.
“No. Are you?” Donkey Kong asked.
“Sometimes.” Mario admitted.
Donkey Kong chuckled and hopped down the platform onto the ground below. “Maybe it’s because you are.” Donkey Kong joked.
Mario hopped down next. “And you’re not, I’m guessing?” Mario asked.
“Me?! No way!” Donkey Kong replied.
“Uh huh…” Mario hummed, not believing him. “I’ve seen the way you act around Diddy Kong.” Mario added.
Donkey Kong raised an eyebrow at him before smirking and leaning on Mario’s head. “Oh yeah? And I’ve seen the way you act around Luigi.” Donkey Kong added.
Mario frowned and crossed his arms when he felt the gorilla’s arm on his head. “...Dude.” Mario said.
“Mhm?” He replied, casually looking at his nails.
“Get off me.” Mario ordered.
“Whaddaya mean?” He asked with a smirk. “I’m not even touching you.” He added.
“Get off!” Mario yelled.
Donkey Kong’s smirk grew into a toothy smile as he poked Mario’s cheek playfully. “Or what? You’ll beat me up?” He teased.
Mario growled and poked Donkey’s ribs and armpit. “GET OFF ME!” Mario yelled.
Donkey Kong wheezed and instinctively pulled his arm back against his side. “WoHO- HEhey!” Donkey Kong laughed. “Wohow! I feel bad for your bro.” Donkey Kong reacted.
Mario narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Mario asked.
“You can’t even take a joke!” Donkey Kong told him.
Mario glared at him. “There’s a difference between joking around, and being a pain in the neck.” Mario let him know as he poked his side.
Donkey Kong yelped and curled away from the touch for a moment. “Q-Quit that!” He reacted.
Mario’s frown softened when he saw Donkey Kong’s reaction. He looked at the area he had poked, before looking up at Donkey Kong. “Wait…” Mario attempted to poke his side again, but yelped as his hand was slapped away by Donkey Kong’s larger hand. “Ow!” Mario reacted.
“Don’t touch me!” Donkey Kong yelled.
“Why?” Mario asked, smirking slightly. “Ticklish?” He asked.
Donkey Kong blinked, and looked down to the side slightly. “I-” He muttered.
Mario’s facial expression only grew when he heard Donkey Kong stutter. “...Wait, seriously?!” Mario asked, not fully believing it at first.
“Shut up.” Donkey Kong ordered.
“I will, but…” Mario looked at him. “I’m surprised.” He admitted, pointing to him.
“Don’t. Try it.” Donkey Kong ordered.
Mario looked at Donkey Kong…then at his stomach…Mario reached his finger out and started to bring it closer to his belly. “Juuuust-” Mario widened his eyes the moment his hand was grabbed by a fluffy, large, brown hand. Mario yelped and screeched as he was lifted up off the ground by his wrist. “WaitwaiT- AAH!” Mario shouted.
“You think you can tickle me and get away with it?!” He asked before poking Mario’s side, earning him a surprisingly high-pitched squeak. “Just try me. I DARE you.” He added with a smirk as he skittered three of his fingers on Mario’s side.
Mario widened his eyes and covered his mouth, refusing to let Donkey Kong hear his laugh. Though Mario really liked his own laugh, he knew that if he let it out…then Donkey Kong was gonna keep tickling him just to tease him about it! And why in the world would Mario give him that satisfaction?!
Mario shot him the best glare he could considering the circumstances. But it didn’t look threatening like he wanted…because Donkey Kong only laughed at him. “Was that supposed to scare me?!” Donkey Kong asked.
Mario soon removed his hand from his face, showing off his wobbly smile in the process, so he could cover up his side as best he could with one hand. “Yohoucan’tbreakme.” Mario spat through his pent-up laughter.
“Oh I’m not trying to break you.” Donkey Kong told him. “I’m just trying to tickle you. Make you laugh.” He told him. “And you’re holding out on me!” He added, moving his finger up to his armpit. “And I don’t like it.” Donkey Kong added, poking his armpit with an evil, toothy smirk.
Mario screeched and looked visibly scared as he tried to wave his hand away from his armpit. “NO! Not there! Anywhere but there!” Mario begged.
He removed his finger and wiggled it. “Ohooo! Does that mean it’s…” His finger touched down right in the dip of his armpit. “Ticklish?” He teased in the most evil voice he could muster.
Mario gripped Donkey Kong’s finger as best he could, and attempted to remove it. “NOo, no it’s not.” Mario shot back.
Donkey Kong flexed his finger, making it wiggle and tickle his armpit one single time. Just this alone, made Mario titter and squeeze his eyes shut. “If your armpit isn’t sensitive…” He flexed his finger again to tickle Mario just once more. “Then why are you smiling so much?” Donkey Kong asked with fake curiosity, referring to the wobbly smile on Mario’s face that had just grown to show off his teeth.
“DonkeyKongIswearto-” Mario gasped as he felt Donkey Kong’s finger wiggle again…only for it to wiggle continuously in his armpit. “GohohoHOHOHOD!” Mario finished his threat before throwing his head back as he felt the dam break right open.
Donkey Kong’s face brightened as he heard the man break open with laughter. “Wow! There you go!” He reacted. “Took you long enough.” He added with a chuckle.
Mario immediately let go of Donkey Kong’s finger and flapped his free arm around as he laughed full-force this time. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha!” Mario laughed, pulling his arm in and keeping it tense against his side.
“Not gonna lie, you’ve got a pretty good laugh. I can see why the princess likes you.” Donkey Kong told him.
Mario could feel a slight blush showing up on his face from that compliment alone. “SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” Mario yelled at him.
“Nah. I rather like teasing you, Red.” Donkey Kong admitted. “Maybe if I tease you enough, your cheeks will match your shirt.” He added.
Mario lowered his head down and held his stomach as he kept laughing. By this point, Mario had given up trying to stop Donkey Kong from tickling him. Mario couldn’t do any damage to Donkey Kong without a power up, thanks to how big and strong Donkey Kong was. So the man had to just take it.
And right as Mario was starting to get used to the tickles, Donkey Kong started dragging his finger down to the ribs. “Coochy coochy coo~” He teased evilly.
Mario’s laughter seemed to stay about the same, only this time, his feet started kicking a bit more wildly. “YOHOHOHOU’RE SOHOHOHO MEHEHEHEAN!” Mario complained.
“Says the one who continuously heeded my warning and tried to tickle me anyway, despite me saying ‘Don’t try it’ at least once.” Donkey Kong added.
“STOHOP STOPSTOP LEHET MEHEHE TAHAHALK!” Mario begged. “PLEHEHEHEASE!”
Donkey Kong shrugged his shoulders and stopped tickling his ribs. “Okay.” He replied.
Mario’s laughter lessened super quickly. The man breathed in gulps of air and let out long breaths of relief. “Gohohosh…” Mario muttered.
“What did you wanna say?” Donkey Kong asked.
Mario looked up at Donkey Kong, and let out another breath. “You…technically didn’t say ‘Don’t try it’.” Mario told him.
Donkey Kong narrowed his eyes. “Oh really?” He leaned in. “Then what did I say?” He asked.
“You actually said ‘Don’t’ with a pause…and then ‘try it’.” Mario replied with a growing little innocent smile.
Donkey Kong looked at him with the most unamused face he could possibly show him.
This look made Mario burst out laughing despite still clearly being overpowered. “Yohohou look so done with me.” Mario added, giggling into his own hand.
Donkey Kong rolled his eyes and let go of Mario, making him drop to the ground. When Mario sat himself up, Donkey Kong pushed Mario down onto his back and held the man’s wrists by the sleeves just above his chest. “You done talking yet?” He asked with a smirk before moving his fingers towards Mario’s belly. “If not, then you might as well laugh instead.” Donkey Kong concluded, skittering his fingers on his little, jean-covered belly.
Mario’s laughter seemed to erupt from his lips almost right away this time, surprising them both. “aaAAHAhahahahaha! Ohohohokahahay! Ihihi’m dohone tahahalkihing, I promihihihise!” Mario replied.
“Well that’s a relief.” He teased. “But laughing doesn’t really count as talking, does it?” He asked, wiggling his fingers near his vulnerable sides.
Mario’s body language, as well as his laughter, noticeably doubled when his right side was merely stroked by the gorilla’s fingers. “Ihihihi dohohoHOHON’T KNOHOHOhohohow!” Mario admitted, his voice moving up and down in volume.
Donkey Kong’s smirk widened the moment his laughter got stronger. He quickly looked up at Mario’s face. “Ticklish sides?” He asked before poking his right side a bit harder this time.
“HeheHEHAHAHA- NoHO!” Mario attempted to turn himself onto his right to cover up his ticklish side. “N-No, no way. They’re not. Honest.” Mario argued, pulling on his sleeves rough enough to try and get out, but gentle enough as to not rip his sleeves.
Donkey Kong chuckled and shook his head. “You are the worst liar I have ever met.” Donkey Kong admitted with a laugh before giving Mario’s sides a few squeezes. “Like, a toddler would be able to lie better than you!” Donkey Kong teased. Mario threw his head back and let out a long, strong cackle. “SOHOHOHO WHAHAT?!” Mario yelled back.
Mario’s laughter only continued in long bouts when Donkey Kong squeezed his side a bit faster. “Wow! I’m glad you found that as funny as I did!” Donkey Kong reacted.
Mario shook his head as he kicked his feet somewhat wildly. “NOHOHOT FUNNYHEEHEEHEE!” Mario shouted at him.
“Another lie! You seriously think lying about my humor is going to work when you’re clearly laughing?!” Donkey Kong joked.
“BUHUHUT IHI’M NOHOHOT! IHIHI SWEHEHEAR!” Mario yelled at him.
“Ohoho, you’d better not be swearing that you’re not laughing…because that would be yet ANOTHER lie!” Donkey Kong reacted. “Speaking of which: why are you laughing so much, Jumpman?” Donkey Kong asked.
“WHYHY DOHO YOU THIHIHIHIHINK?!” Mario spat back.
Donkey Kong shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I can’t read your mind, Mario.” Donkey Kong teased. “You’re the only one who can tell me why you’re laughing.”
Mario whined through his laughter. “BEHEHECAUSE YOHOU’RE TIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHEHE!” Mario yelled back.
“What?!” Donkey Kong stopped his fingers and let go of Mario’s sleeves before moving them up into arrest position. “No I’m not!” Donkey Kong reacted. “Look! My hands are free!” He insisted.
Mario held his stomach as he curled up into a ball, giggling and laughing from the leftover phantom tickles. Even though Donkey Kong was obviously not tickling him, Mario was still laughing almost as hard as he was when DK’s hand was squeezing his unbelievably ticklish side.
“See? I’m not even touching you, and you’re laughing yourself absolutely bananas! What is so funny?!” Donkey Kong reacted, acting all innocent.
Mario’s laughter slowly began to die down. Keyword: slowly. Though they were less than before, Mario’s cackles were still strong enough to keep Mario’s face a little bit red. Normally a person would start snorting by now. But here’s the thing: Mario is not a snorter.
But don’t let this discourage you…because there’s something else I need to tell you:
Mario may not snort…but he most certainly hiccups when he laughs for too long.
And that’s exactly what Mario started to do. Mario had only let out one single hiccup, which made Mario impulsively cover up his mouth with his palm. But even with his mouth covered, you could still hear the recurring hiccups through his hand. “Hahahaha- *hic* -Hehehe *hic* Hehe sohohorry- *hic* Hehehehe-” Mario muttered.
Donkey Kong widened his eyes and stared at Mario. “Are you…hiccuping?!” Donkey Kong asked.
Mario’s blush only seemed to deepen when Donkey Kong simply mentioned his hiccups. He sat himself up and tried to calm himself down. “Ihihihi *hic* Hihihihi- *hic* Hihihehehehe- *hic* Yeheheah…” Mario muttered.
Donkey Kong chuckled. “Does anyone else know about your hiccup laughs?” Donkey Kong asked.
Mario groaned and covered his face, clearly embarrassed. “Shhhhutup.” Mario muttered.
Donkey Kong laughed and offered him a hand. “Want help up, overalls?”
Mario bit his lip and uncovered his face. “S-Sure.” Mario muttered. When he felt ready, Mario took his hand (or rather, his index finger) and got up onto his feet. “Now…please don’t tell anyone.” Mario told him. “I don’t want rumors to spread about this.” Mario admitted.
Donkey Kong nodded. “Wouldn’t want such adorable information to get into the wrong hands.” Donkey Kong added.
“Yeah, pretty-” Mario froze. “Wha- HEY!” Mario punched Donkey Kong’s arm, earning him a laugh from Donkey Kong. “I’m not adorable.” Mario warned.
“I’d beg to differ…Have you seen yourself in the catsuit?” Donkey Kong teased, wiggling his fingers like a cat paw.
Mario rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Sh-shut up.” Mario muttered.
This made Donkey Kong laugh even more. “Fine, fine.” He said. “But in return…you can’t tell people I’m ticklish either.” Donkey Kong ordered. “That stays zipped up in your head. Got it?” Donkey Kong ordered.
Mario nodded. “Fair enough. I can do that. Truce?” Mario asked, offering his hand.
“Truce.” Donkey Kong replied, shaking his hand with his finger while his other hand moved behind his back.
Mario nodded his head before letting go of Donkey Kong’s finger and looking over at the obstacle course. “So…..” Mario looked over to the main toad village. “You…you wanna visit the toad shops?” Mario asked, pointing to the town.
Donkey Kong narrowed his eyes. “Shops?” He asked. “I could not think of a more boring activity.” Donkey Kong teased.
“I dunno…I heard they have some interesting antiques over there…” Mario mentioned. “Haven’t been able to check them out myself though…” He admitted.
“Hm…” He looked at the town. “Do you think there’s anything I haven’t seen before?” Donkey Kong asked.
Mario chuckled. “Only one way to find out…” Mario mentioned.
Donkey Kong chuckled and poked his side. “Fine.” He replied before taking off running. “Race ya!”
Mario yelped and jumped back, before taking off after him. “WAIT! YOU CHEATER!” Mario shouted.
“JUST CATCH UP, SLOW POKE!” Donkey Kong shouted back.
“WATCH ME, SMASH MONKEY!” Mario shouted back as he sprinted after him.
It didn't take long for the boys to make it to the village. And to Donkey Kong’s surprise, there were actually lots of antique items that he had never seen before. And Mario ended up purchasing a couple new power ups that he hadn’t tried before. Despite the one-sided tickle fight that had just transpired, the boys seemed to keep things civil between each other. Later on, Mario would end up getting tickled all over again. Why? Because Donkey Kong may or may not have been crossing his fingers when he shook Mario’s hand earlier…Go figure…
But let’s face it: Mario would’ve done the same thing. They both have that competitive brotherly energy to them. It’s what seemed to help them cooperate when it was needed.