Perhaps a strange question, but... in your AU after the events on Malachor and Steps into shadow, did Ezra have any thoughts of leaving the Ghost Crew to cope with his demons, since he began to consider himself and his wolf form dangerous? I mean, the dark side, although not completely, clouded his mind and also affected his wolf (in one of your posts you also explained about how the dark side affects wolfwalkers). And maybe one day, out of guilt and shame, Ezra even tried to do this (convincing himself that it's for the best😔), but someone from the Ghost Crew stopped him...
(and then if Kanan finds out about this, I imagine how he immediately hugs his dear Padawan tightly, whispering apologies and assurances that no one blames him...)
I've held this ask back for months, because dear anon, not only is this entirely possible but you inspired me to write an unofficial continuation of Chapter 11! I considered making this into a comic, but on this very rare occasion it just felt better in writing. I hope you like it :3
"Oh please, like you haven't gunned down hundreds of Imperials without a second thought," Ezra growled as he retreated to the edge of Chopper base, hoping to lick his fur clean in private. He did not feel like waking up.
Sabine followed him stubbornly, having interrogated him about the state of his coat the moment they deboarded the Ghost and were out of earshot of the others. At least she'd waited that long, even if she was breaking their silently agreed routine of leaving Ezra the hell alone. It had taken months to get them all to stop worrying about him. Or at least to keep it to themselves. But Sabine was practically fizzing with worry now, Ezra could feel it even if she only expressed it by yelling at him. It made his fur bristle.
"No shit!," she snapped back, "If someone is firing at us I'm going to fire back, I'm not going out of my way to kill as many people as possible, we've never done that! You've never done that!"
"Maybe they were in my way," Ezra growled back. Did she not realize the ambush they'd nearly fallen into if Ezra hadn't smelled out and destroyed the waiting reinforcements? She could've been dead right now, instead of berating him.
"You never used to bite, you never used to kill as a wolf. I asked you once why you never did, remember? You said it felt wrong, Ezra!"
Ezra stopped, hackles raised. This argument needed to be over.
"What are you saying, Sabine?"
"I'm saying you've changed."
It started as accusatory. But Sabine's voice cracked on the last word, like she was fighting back tears. And that was what made Ezra whip around in anger.
"So what if I've changed?!" He snarled, towering over her, teeth bared.
If I don't change, you'll die
Sabine had jolted back a step, and said nothing in retaliation. She held her ground and met his gaze in defiance, but something was wrong, and the growl died in Ezra's throat. She was shaking ever so slightly. The color of her scent shifted in his eye, tainted.
And Ezra realized in horror that he'd snapped at her. His jaws had clashed shut inches from her face.
Ezra was frozen. He could hear her heartbeat hammering against her ribs and it sounded the same as those of the soldiers he crushed so effortlessly in his jaws, his vision clouded red as he choked on the stench of terror and the blood filling his mouth. And in an instant Ezra knew he could crush her just as easily. He saw her broken body in the sand, her blood pooling at his paws and soaking into his fur, hers and Hera's and Zeb's. The vision suddenly felt so inevitable, Ezra could smell fear so strongly it blocked out anything else.
"Ezra?" Sabine's voice cracked through the haze. Alive. Here. Concerned. And Ezra realized the fear-scent was now his own. He clamped his muzzle shut and cowered away from her as she took a step towards him, hand out-stretched, stupidly brave. He could never come near her again. He should have run long ago.
"I-I'm sorry," he choked out.
Ezra turned and ran, barely hearing Sabine shout after him. He didn't stop running until he could barely breathe, and was surrounded only by wilderness where he belonged.
I'm sure Sabine and Zeb will manage to track him down on speeders and knock some sense into him once he's too exhausted to outrun them. They don't tell Hera or Kanan yet...