How to Spill the Beans According to Mermaids /./ [Bonfamille Lyons + Tritons]
In which Simba, Berlioz, Ashlee, and Sarabi are invited to Christmas dinner at the Triton’s...[takes place: December 25, 2022]
@ber-bonfamille-lyons, @ashlee-bonfamille-lyons, @attina-the-responsible, @panicked-nights, @adella-the-idyllic, @arista-the-musical, @alana-the-brilliant, @crickey-itsjake, @aquata-the-champ
[tw -- none this is ridiculous lmao]
AQUATA: Aquata noticed it when she had slipped into the bathroom to check her makeup. And then she had to do a double take. Who in Neptune’s name was taking a pregnancy test?
Only three of her sisters lived in Swynlake right now. Arista wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret. Neither would Ariel (Aquata hoped not, anyway). And come to think of it, Alana had been acting a little weird, anyway…
The first person she ran into in the hallway was Adella, and Aquata quickly pulled her into the bathroom. “Is Lana pregnant?” she said breathlessly.
ADELLA: Adella had barely adjusted from the jet lag when Aquata kidnapped her into the bathroom. Holy shit!
“Neptune, no way? What on earth— she doesn’t want kids, right? I can’t imagine Jake changed her mind…wait. Why?”
AQUATA: Aquata took her hand out from behind her back and unfurled it to reveal a small plastic pregnancy test— with two very clear lines. “I mean, who else’s would it be, right? I found it in here.”
/./ /./ /./
AQUATA: Did Aquata think it was a little weird that the Lyons were coming? Yeah, a little. But it was probably a good thing that JEFF seemed to be hanging out with Sarabi more, that he had friends his age. And maybe she could talk to Simba about the VFD more.
“Hey! Come on in,” Aquata said when the doorbell rang. “So glad you could all make it.”
SIMBA: Was it a little weird to be going to Triton Christmas? Simba didn't think so! He got invited to a lot of Christmas celebrations in town. He wanted to stop by all of them, but Ber always said no. The only reason he'd agreed to this one was because Mama was going. Which was a little odd, but not very, because Sarabi was popular and got invited to a lot of things too.
So, here he was, arms laden with presents, Ber and Ashlee a step behind him.
"Hey, Q!" Simba said, leaning down to give her a hug and almost covering her in an avalanche of presents. "Happy we could make it. Is Tina here?"
BERLIOZ: Yeah, this was a little weird.
But if Ber was gonna pick some party to go to, it would be the Tritons. He knew them well enough; liked them all well enough, and now that a lot of them weren't even here anymore, it meant it wasn't quite as...overwhelming. So yeah, he could do a dinner and chat with Lana or Aquata (his favourites, in that order). And Sarabi was going to be here, and at this point, she was like his mother too. Well. She technically was his mother, sort of...
"Hullo," he greeted with a little wave, but then mostly stuck with Ashlee, helping her navigate around Simba and the avalanche of presents. He'd be her pal tonight too, he figured. Stick together when things got a bit mad.
ASHLEE: Ashlee was hesitant on coming to the Triton's, now she would never say no but really she didn't get it? Why now? Why this year? It felt weird and all she really could be happy about was that it wasn't a full house.
Now that just sounded horrible. Simba could do enough of the talking with a small group that Ashlee could just coast.
Still she smiled offering a wave and a wide area of space so she didn't have to offer hugs or get hit by a present or five.
This was still all weird. Nodding her head in she waited for Ber so she could follow his lead in.
AQUATA: "Yeah, she's in the kitchen! Let me just put these under the tree, though," Aquata said, taking a few of the presents out of Simba's hands so that at least he could see where he was going. Classic Simba. He always had to go all-out. "Is your mum on her way, or..." Aquata had assumed she would arrive with the rest of the Bonfamille-Lyons, but she was nowhere to be seen.
SIMBA: Simba let Aquata take the presents, distracted as he looked for his friend, who was obscured by the small crowd of people standing between the door and the kitchen. He caught a flash of red that he assumed was her and was just about to take a step in her direction when--
He swung his head around again.
"Huh? Mama? She's coming, is she? I didn't know that! Did we know that, mume?" He turned to Ber with a shrug of his shoulders. Ber would've remembered if Simba didn't.
BERLIOZ: Uhhhhhhhhhhh... did they...?
No. No, Ber didn't think so, but in that moment he was reluctant to say that. He was starting to get a feeling. It was an instinct he'd picked up from being a child of divorced parents. How many times did he remember strange men, Maman's 'friends,' showing up at the house? Or Pere introducing them to a woman-- another 'friend?' He had known in his heart what these people were. But he'd never acknowledged it. Neither did his parents.
This felt like that.
Ber didn't wanna just lie to Simba though. He hesitated, then slowly said, "Uh... no, I don't think so. I don't think she mentioned it..."
ASHLEE: Ashlee had a bad feeling about this, the day already felt out of sync and she kind of hated that. But she wasn't the one that had to deal with that, No that was all Simba, and Maybe Berlioz.
Instead she just pulled out her phone texting her boyfriend instead as a way to distract herself.
/./ /./ /./
AQUATA: Questioning Adella hadn't really led anywhere. But maybe that was just because she was out of town. Honestly, she didn't expect Arista to be able to hear something like a pregnancy in the family and keep it quiet, but it was worth trying...
"Ris! I need to talk to you!" Aquata said when she spotted her sister, pulling her into the bathroom next.
ARISTA: We’ll it was that time of year again! Holiday dinners and family time, what could be better?! She’d just finished putting her wrapped gifts under the tree when she was caught by Aquata just outside the bathroom. Her eyes widened, “What? What’s wrong?” Bathroom talks had to be serious.
AQUATA: Aquata took a deep breath, ready to do a whole preamble about how she didn't know if this was true or not, but she figured that was why she would ask Arista, and don't freak out, except the fact that somebody was pregnant...
"Is Lana pregnant?!" Aquata blurted out, waving the positive pregnancy test for emphasis. "I found this in the bathroom and it's not Della's and I'm assuming it's not Ariel's and it's definitely not mine, so— do you know?"
ARISTA: The blonde's eyes widened further if that were possible, eyes stuck on the stick that was probably totally peed on like fairly recently. But now wasn't the time to think of that.
"Pregnant? No... I don't think so? But then again, she and Jake have been spending an awful lot of time together lately and like whispering about stuff before I walk in the door and then changing the subject and I saw apartment listings on his computer one time when I was over visiting and I thought it was strange because he loves his apartment so much and has lived there for like since he moved here but you know if they need more space that would make sense for the baby, ohmigosh she's pregnant." She finally took a breath and looked from the test to Aquata.
"Maybe she was double checking here before making her announcement tonight? Maybe they're waiting to tell us? Jake did seem rather nervous about something, much more fidgety than he normally is. Although, he could just be playing with his new hair because I mean, he didn't have much to play with before and I've been known to play with mine from time to time without even knowing it." She squinted her eyes, thinking back to what he was doing.
"Also wow, everyone's just having babies now, huh."
AQUATA: Aquata ignored all the comments about Jake's new haircut, because there was something much bigger going on here.
Oh Neptune. If Alana was pregnant (which it was beginning to sound like) then of course she would need more space for the baby. Aquata couldn't live somewhere with a baby! And Jake would probably want to be there too, which meant Alana was growing up and having a baby and having her own place and everything was about to change, everything, and... what, was she even planning on telling anyone this? Obviously she hadn't left that pregnancy test in the bathroom on purpose...
"Neptune. No, you're right, that's got to be it, then. Fuck..." Aquata said, her face going pale. She turned and started pacing back and forth. "I mean, I'm happy for her, obviously, but... fuck. This is so much to process. I'm her bloody roommate! Why didn't she tell me?"
ARISTA: Arista just frowned a bit, that's true. Alana really should have told Aquata. She put her hand on her sister's shoulder, "It's okay, Q. Obviously there is still time to figure stuff out. Months of it. Maybe they just wanted to make sure Daddy didn't hear it from anyone else first, you know?"
AQUATA: Aquata's stomach dropped. She hadn't even thought about Daddy. But Alana must have told him, right? She wouldn't keep that from him.
"Actually... I think Daddy might know already," Aquata said in a low voice. "Don't you think he's been a little strange lately, too? More than once, I've called him and gotten a busy signal... and he's always got these 'plans' lately. He never has plans. Maybe it's something to do with the baby..."
ARISTA: Huh, Arista didn't think Daddy was acting too strangely or having any secret plans. He was just out with Sarabi a lot. It was a new relationship but then again, maybe her sisters thought it was weird. "I haven't really noticed those things but then again I still live here." She gave a slight shrug.
AQUATA: "Really?" Well, maybe Arista had just missed it. She could be a bit of a bubblehead sometimes. "I dunno, I just don't think it's right for her to tell him and not us. I mean, I'm literally her roommate. But... it's fine. I won't say anything until after Christmas. Let's just... get through tonight, yeah?"
ARISTA: Arista was excited though. Her sister was having a baby. "Oh yes, we'll get through tonight and then we get to start doing baby shopping, and who knows Q, I might end up being your new roommate with the way the apartment has cycled through sisters." She joked, not about the baby shopping though, tiny clothes were the best kinds of clothes.
AQUATA: "Yeah, maybe." Aquata smiled weakly. As much as she'd like that... she didn't really do well with change. Moving out of the family home and into Alana's apartment had been a big change for her. And now she was going to have to think about adjusting to live with a new person? Alana had been her only roommate all throughout her life. Was she ready for this? "Uh, we should probably get back out there before people start wondering where we are."
ARISTA: "Yes, we really should be getting back. I think dinner is almost done by the way things are smelling." She smiled at her sister, knowing she didn't enjoy change, many of her sisters didn't. Perhaps it was the fact that they'd all had their lives turned upside down at a young age, but what she did know was that if anyone would get through changes that were big like this it would be her sisters. She bounded down the stairs to find Jake alone at the dining room table, poor guy in his ugly christmas sweater nursing an egg nog, undoubtedly spiked. "Alana abandon you to be bombarded with sister questions?"
Jake looked up and just laughed, "Nah, she's in there talkin' with JEFF about something I think." He gave a shrug, "None of my business."
The blonde sat down next to him, "Yes but it will be won't it, oh it's just so exciting." The Australian gave her a look which she didn't entirely notice (although it was one of confusion because no one was supposed to know about their news but again why would that make him on a need to know with JEFFs business, it wasn't like they were getting married). Arista just continued, "Oh it'll just be so great, and you'll be the best father." Father. I can't believe you both waited until now to tell us all. And of course you'll have all the best family support and you'll be in a new situation and ugh, it'll be great I love the holidays, don't--"
Jake finally got a word in, his mouth agape, "I--wait what? She--"
And then the call for dinner rang out and all the family filed in and Jake was left sitting and sweating through his sweater. Was she pregnant? Did she not tell him? He just looked at her as she sat down, no idea what his face was doing at this point and took the largest gulp of eggnog possible.
/./ /./ /./
ALANA: This was a big deal.
Okay -- maybe, objectively, it wasn't a big deal. People her age and younger moved in with their longterm boyfriends all the time! But it was a big deal to Alana, because, well, she'd never thought she'd be doing this. She'd never thought she'd want to do this.
And there was, of course, the question of Daddy.
Only Arista and Ariel even lived in the house anymore. And though Lana wasn't, like, moving anywhere, it was still a big step. She didn't want him to be lonely.
She'd spent most of the day trying to figure out a good time to tell him, and she figured it would be best done away from the others. While everyone prepped for dinner, Lana slunk away, looking for her father. He wasn't in the kitchen, where Benjamin and his partner and Tina and Roman were cooking. He wasn't in the living room, where Arista was strumming a guitar and leading everyone in Christmas carols. Was he in the study? Or the bathroom?
Lana walked upstairs.
"Daddy --!" She stopped dead in her tracks.
JEFF: It wasn't that JEFF was keeping anything from his daughters...on purpose.
Part of it was Sarabi, who was still getting comfortable with everything. Which was fine, because he was still figuring it out himself. It was nice to have someone else to confide in about love and grief. Someone who understood. It was nice to have someone else to talk to, who wanted to talk to him. Not that his daughters had abandoned him, but they were all grown now. With relationships and lives of their own.
It had happened sort of on accident. Sarabi and JEFF had known each other for thirty years now. Their spouses had known each other. There had only ever been friendship. But, about six months ago, something had changed. Maybe it was just loneliness. Maybe it was just a shift. JEFF tried not to think too hard about it. Sarabi was lovely--smart and charming and funny and beautiful.
And they'd tell their respective children. At some point.
For right now, a quiet Christmas was just fine for them. They hadn't even planned this moment alone, but JEFF had forgotten one of his gifts upstairs and Sarabi needed her scarf she'd left over and--
Well, it was innocent, what Alana saw. Just an embrace. And, yes, okay, a kiss too, but--a gentle one, before they went back downstairs.
And then Alana's voice cut sharp between them, separating them like a knife.
"Oi!" he barked at her, like she was the one doing something wrong. (Not that kissing Sarabi was wrong but, you know--)
"Hello, Alana," Sarabi said with a smile, smoothing a hand down the front of her dress, as collected as ever, even if she was blushing.
ALANA: This was --
This was a lot to process.
Her father and Simba's mum?! Kissing?! On Christmas?
Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. Like why Sarabi was even over in the first place. Like why Sarabi had offered to help with Aquata's campaign events. Like why Sarabi and JEFF had spent Halloween together --
"How -- when -- what -- no don't answer that last one!" Alana's face flushed. Her heart beat a little faster. She wasn't sure how she felt about this all. Her immediate reaction was shock, of course. Then betrayal. Why hadn't he told them? Then anger. What about their mum?
"Does anyone else know?!"
JEFF: "Er, no, we were going to tell everyone tonight."
That was a lie. They hadn't really discussed that.
Sarabi shot him a glare, but he wasn't looking at her. He was watching Alana. This wasn't how he wanted this to go at all. He didn't know how he was going to do it. Maybe one by one? With Tiny first...but--maybe this was better. JEFF had no idea if he would've gotten up the gumption otherwise.
"Okay, we weren't going to tell everyone," he admitted after a moment, shoulders slumping a bit. "I'm sorry, Lan. You weren't--" he stopped himself, started again. "I didn't want anyone to find out like...this."
ALANA: "Well, when were you going to tell us?" Alana whispered. She knew she had to whisper because the minute the Christmas music stopped playing, everyone would be able to hear this. "Were you just going to carry on about this like two lovestruck teenagers with strict parents?"
JEFF: "Now, young lady," JEFF said in a hushed warning tone. "There is no need for that. We are adults. We can keep our relationship personal if that is how we feel most comfortable."
ALANA: "Oh, yeah, like that's a good idea," snorted Alana. "You keep one secret in this family and everyone suddenly thinks you've stabbed them in the back."
Alana realized how hypocritical she was being right now, as the person currently acting like she was being stabbed in the back.
She folded her arms over her chest.
"Fine -- I won't say anything, but really you should tell them all sooner rather than later. If you drag it out, they're gonna take it badly -- you know that." She huffed and pursed her lips. She couldn't really look at her father. Or Sarabi, even. Had they... done it?! Ew ew ew ew ew -- gross.
The bright side of this was that, well, he really couldn't say anything about her own news now, could he?
"Ahem, while i have you here," said Alana. "IthinkI'mgonnamoveinwithJake! Okay! That's it! I'll leave you two to canoodle!"
JEFF: Yes, like Alana was doing right now. What he had been worried about. Even if he had told them the first day, they probably would've accused him of hiding it. And he was allowed to figure it out on his own, thank you. It wasn't like it hadn't been complicated. It was still complicated. Wonderful and painful all at once.
"Alana--" he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
He wanted to say it wasn't totally his fault. That he would've been ready to say something a few months ago, but Sarabi was more hesitant. She said Simba wasn't ready. JEFF didn't know if his girls were ready or not, but he was. Wasn't that what mattered? Or was that selfish? He wasn't sure, so he hadn't pushed.
Now, he couldn't exactly throw his girlfriend under the bus.
"Alana Cordelia!" he barked as she tried to turn and run back down the stairs. Probably a bad idea, because people definitely heard that. JEFF had a booming voice.
Sarabi put a hand on his arm and he glanced at her but looked back at his daughter. He stared at her for a moment and then softened slightly.
"I think that's lovely. Just--let me know when you need help moving, alright?"
ALANA: "I will," said Alana, who had wanted this conversation to be over a while ago. She'd already backed away to the staircase, ready to bolt down and find Jake. She wouldn't tell her sisters, of course, but she could and she would tell her boyfriend. In private, of course. But very frantically.
"I -- " She looked at her dad, knowing she should say something more. She shouldn't leave it like this. Maybe a few years ago she would've stormed off, but Alana didn't want to drive any more wedges between her family. "I'm happy for you two. Really."
It felt like a bitter pill, those words, but as she swallowed, she knew it was true. That shock, that anger, that surprise, it still lingered. It probably would for a while.
But here was her father looking soft and looking happier than she'd seen him in ages. And with all the sisters growing up and moving out, well, Lana was glad he had someone.
She did, however, know he had a full storm ahead telling the rest of the girls. Let alone Simba.
"I'll see you two downstairs," she said, turning around. "Don't keep us waiting too long."
/./ /./ /./
AQUATA: Aquata was mostly mad at Alana. Which was probably misdirected anxiety about everything about to change, but her anxiety tended to sublimate into anger, because it made her feel less powerless, and everything she did just made Aquata's blood boil. There was definitely something going on with her and Daddy, Aquata decided, overanalyzing every one of their interactions.
If Alana could tell Daddy, why couldn't she tell everyone else, huh? Weren't they supposed to be sisters? Weren't they supposed to be roommates? The more Aquata ruminated on it, the angrier she got. But she couldn't say anything. Not until after Christmas was over. It was making her crazy.
"Sorry," Aquata scowled, sounding not very sorry at all when she bumped into Alana on the way to the kitchen. "Can you get the napkins? Someone forgot them."
ALANA: So, Alana was trying to be Totally Normal about the whole Daddy x Sarabi thing going on. But now she kept glancing at them, reading into every interaction they had -- their hands touched as they passed the salad bowl! Daddy totally darted his eyes towards her bum! Ah!
She almost missed what Aquata said when they bumped into each other.
"Oh crap," said Alana. "Sorry -- that was supposed to be me. I'll go back and get them."
AQUATA: “Don’t strain yourself,” Aquata retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She snatched the basket of dinner rolls from the countertop and practically stomped back into the dining room, then sat down in her usual place, stone-faced and silent.
ALANA: At that, Lana raised an eyebrow. Aquata could be... so weird sometimes. Especially when she was hungry. Though... maybe this wasn't her being hungry? Maybe she was upset about something --
Maybe she knew about Daddy!
Oh man -- that had to be it! No wonder Aquata was looking so surly. She'd probably found out about it the same way Alana had and thought that no one else knew.
Alana grabbed the napkins and hurried back to Aquata, whispering under her breath.
"Wait -- do you know?"
AQUATA: “Of course I fucking know. It wasn’t exactly subtle,” Aquata replied venomously, her voice barely a whisper. She crossed her arms and looked at the ceiling. Okay, maybe she was being a little bit dramatic, but this was probably better than picking an all-out fight, right?
Though the more Aquata ruminated on it, the closer she got to just yanking Alana into the hallway and demanding the truth.
ALANA: Wait -- had Alana really been the last to find out? Well, probably Attina and Adella (and Andrina, of course) didn't really know. But if Aquata was pointing out how obvious it was, maybe Alana just hadn't been around as much... granted, she'd been so busy with the shoppe and stuff.
"I guess it was pretty obvious in retrospect," she scoffed. Was this Aquata's way of telling her she needed to come around to more family events? It wasn't her fault she was busy! "Look, I've just been so stressed and busy that I didn't really pay attention."
AQUATA: Aquata’s eyes went wide in alarm, and she slowly turned her head to stare at Alana in concern. “Wait, when did you realize?”
ALANA: "Uh, just earlier today. When I went upstairs." Alana shrugged. "When did you? Did you know before me?!"
"Alright!" JEFF clapped his hands together. "Let's sit down for dinner!"
Alana pressed her lips shut. She knew she probably shouldn't talk more about it while Daddy was here. But they could gossip when they got home and yes, Lana would apologize about not being more present or whatever -- but really she wanted to figure out when Aquata had found out!
She took her seat at the table, right between Jake and Aquata. Everyone sat down and Alana tried not to stare too much at Sarabi. Simba, meanwhile, looked totally oblivious as he sat on right down next to his mom. She darted her eyes to Aquata, raising her eyebrows in an OMG isn't this weird? God -- at least someone else knew so she didn't have to feel so alone.
"Let's have a toast!" said JEFF, raising his glass. Alana reached for the wine bottle, pouring herself a hefty amount of red. "To family -- coming from far." He looked at Tina and Adella. "To the family we make for ourselves." He smiled at Sarabi and Simba, and Alana really had to behave. "And to our new family!" This was, of course, to Roman and Jake.
Alana reached for Jake's hand and gave it a squeeze.
AQUATA: Aquata couldn't take this anymore. How could Alana be so relaxed about this? To the point that she was talking about "not noticing" and now drinking wine? Clearly nobody in the family was taking this seriously enough— and Aquata was the one who would have to step in. As the older sister, for once.
"Alana! You can't drink that!" she said hotly, pointedly not raising her glass.
JAKE: Jake continued to just nervously sit in his seat, he made sure to wipe his hands on his pants before Alana grabbed for them. He just kept looking over at her. Was she gonna tell her whole family now? New family? He almost coughed on his own drink when Aquata stepped in.
SIMBA: Simba raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything cause it wasn’t any of his business but he was paying attention.
ALANA: Alana had been mid-sip when Aquata spoke. Immediately she spit the wine back out into the glass and looked at it. She was... confused. The wine had tasted fine, from what she could tell! And now that Aquata had spoken so loud, everyone was looking at them -- in a rather pointed way, mind you -- and Alana thought it was rather silly, but also she didn't know why everyone was making a fuss
"Why? What's wrong with it?" she asked, lifting the glass up to the light. "Did we grab the wrong bottle? Is something wrong? Why are you all staring at me?"
AQUATA: Neptune, she couldn't believe that her sister could be so dense. That was Aquata's first thought, and not that there could have been some kind of misunderstanding. Because she was certain that she was right about it. She didn't even take any time to think about it before—
"Because you're bloody knocked-up, aren't you?" Aquata blurted out, loud enough now that the whole table could hear. "I mean, come on, Lana! Stop trying to hide it! Pregnancy tests don't lie!"
ALANA: At first, Alana wanted to laugh — surely this was some elaborate practical joke? Maybe Aquata had gotten whiff of the fact that she was planning to move out and this was her dumb, emotionally stunted, very Aquata way of saying she was sad about it.
But Alana looked at her sister a little longer and it became quite evident that Aquata was serious.
“What the bloody hell are you talking about?!” Alana snapped. “I’m not pregnant! Oh my God — you thought I was pregnant?!”
JAKE: Jake’s face went red as the ribbons on the presents across the way. His whole body felt like it was drenched in sweat as Aquata blurred out that his girlfriend was pregnant. He gulped slightly as eyes turned to him as well and he just sort of stammered out an intelligible response. Arista just patted him on the shoulder, smiling.
As soon as Alana told them otherwise he just exhaled, “Thank fuck.” He cleared his throat before apologizing for his language, sheepishly, “Uh sorry.”
ARISTA: Arista just frowned a bit, brows furrowed. Then who’s pregnancy test was it? Also why is everyone acting so weird today?
ADELLA: “Well if it isn't Alana's...and it isn't mine...Ris?" Adella asked, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. "No, you totally would've texted me if you suspected."
Adella and Ris were so close! She'd've told her...surely?
AQUATA: "Obviously Lana's the one who's pregnant, she literally just admitted it to me— 'it was pretty obvious in retrospect?' I mean, you just said that, do not try to deny it!" Aquata argued, her face turning a deeper shade of red. It was one thing to hide it. But to flat out lie? And laugh at Aquata like she was crazy? Well, that was a new level!
SIMBA: Alana was pregnant?
Simba perked up as soon as the words were said and he was already reaching over to slap Jake on the back, when Alana denied it. It was too late, the forward motion was already happening—and Simba clapped Jake on the shoulder, grinning like a git.
But, then, Alana and Aquata were off arguing about whether or not she was. And Simba really shouldn’t butt in. It wasn’t his business. Clearly this was a family thing. But also! It was a baby! And Simba loved babies. He simply couldn’t help himself.
“Aw, Lan, it’s great if you are! Don’t be shy.” He grinned bright at her.
ROMAN: Roman knew who's pregnancy test it was and still he couldn't help the grin as he watched everything unfold. "Man I missed Triton Dinners."
AQUATA: Aquata glared at Roman. Not funny.
ROMAN: Panic dialed Rob on FaceTime, this would be something he was sure the other would enjoy
ALANA: "What!" Alana yelped. Suddenly, everyone was talking and looking at her and Simba was reaching over the table and --
Alana stood up, slamming both hands on the table. The wine in her glass lapped at the edges, almost spilling onto the red Christmas table cloth.
"I'm NOT pregnant!" she shouted. "I never took a bloody test, because I got my bloody, bloody period last week, so there is literally no possible way I could be pregnant and I had no idea that's what you meant --" She whirled to Aquata, tone sharp and accusatory, and jabbed a pointed finger towards her. "I thought you were talking about Daddy and Sarabi making out under the mistletoe!"
JAKE: Now that she mentioned it, she did in fact have her period last week. He recalled that fact because he was sent out to the market for tampons while Alana got into her usual monthly sort of mood. Wow, he really was dense today wasn’t he? He blamed the spiked egg nog and the overly warm ugly sweater he was wearing.
At the new news though, his brows rose, a bit shocked but hey JEFF had to move on at some point right? Go Mr. Triton.
ROMAN: That was something Panic didn't know and casually he turned his head to the newest couple with raised eyebrows.
AQUATA: As Alana started to defend herself, Aquata was taking a big sip of water, which she promptly sprayed out in front of her.
She couldn’t even really process the pregnancy test revelation because that image of Daddy and Mrs. Lyons…. what?
Also, eeeek!
Also… a lot suddenly made sense.
“What?!?!?!” Aquata shrieked, whipping her head around to look at JEFF. “What the fuck?!”
ASHLEE: Ashlee slowly lowered in her seat her eyes flicking between everyone.
ARISTA: Arista looked a bit confused in all the chaos, “Wait did people not know? It’s been going on for a while. I just figured everyone knew about it.” She shrugged and took a sip of her own holiday spiked drink like it was no big deal.
SIMBA: The whiplash of an excited Simba looking for a baby to love on--
And a Simba who was just finding out that his mum was dating someone was swift, immediate and terrifying.
"What?" Simba echoed. Though, his voice was quieter than the Tritons who raised up in a ruckus. Even Attina, who had been quite and blushing this whole time was looking at her dad, wide-eyed and confused. But while JEFF tried to field his daughters...
Simba only had eyes for his mum, who was shifting back and forth in her seat, looking at Simba and then flicking her eyes to her plate.
"Girls, GIRLS!" JEFF said, his voice booming, though not angry. "I'm sorry. This isn't how we wanted you to find out." A glare for Alana. A glare for Aquata. "But yes. Sarabi and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. It has only just become something more...serious."
Now, he grabbed her hand, which was resting on the table, giving it a squeeze.
Simba contemplated murder.
"We were going to tell you after the New Year."
"Oh, is that when you were going to mention it?" Simba snapped at his mum.
"Simba," Sarabi said in a soft, warning tone.
"Don't Simba me when you're going around behind my back!"
"Simba!"
"Simba--" JEFF also tried.
"Don't--" Simba's eyes cut towards JEFF. "Well, I think I've lost my appetite." He pushed his chair back with a loud scrape.
"Onyango," Sarabi hissed, which was usually enough to get Simba to snap to.
"C'mon Ber, Ashlee, we're leaving."
BERLIOZ: Well. He had seen this coming, but because Berlioz was Berlioz, he'd hoped he was wrong anyway. He'd invented plenty of totally plausible explanations and did not point out the growing pattern of Sarabi and JEFF interactions and just prayed. But here it was. His instincts were right. Of course they were right.
Now, Ber winced. Maybe he should have brought up this possibility to Simba... just in case.
Well, it was too late now though. And hey, Ber was on Simba's side. No matter what, obviously, but this was a pretty shit way to find out, and if Sarabi and JEFF had wanted to keep it on lock until New Year's, they should have probably been more careful-- or just more smart.
Quietly, Ber got up, putting a hand on Simba's shoulder. He squeezed just once. "Uh, thanks for the meal," he uttered.
ASHLEE: Ashlee wished Simba hadn't said her name, she had been slowly slipping in her seat so she could maybe hide as everyone yelled between each other. over each other. But he had, and well Simba was ready to leave and Berlioz was ready to leave which meant Ashlee was ready to leave.
"What he said." Ashlee mumbled agreeing with Berlioz as she stood up as well awkwardly stepping back from the table.
AQUATA: Aquata still couldn't really wrap her head around it. All of it was happening in slow motion, and yet she couldn't keep up. Daddy and Sarabi? But... look, she knew he was going to move on eventually, and she didn't want to make it seem like she was still hung up on the past. Obviously, she was fine. It was just... how had nobody told her? For several months? Why would he tell Lana and Ris and not her? Were they afraid she would freak out or something?
Well... the truth was that she was freaking out, but.... no, she wasn't. She was fine.
Aquata stared at JEFF, her face bright red, her napkin clenched in her fist. She barely paid any attention to whatever was going on with the Bonfamille-Lyons.
"B-but... I saw the two of you talking, it wasn't about..." No, Aquata realized. It was probably about Sarabi. Aquata could imagine it now, all of them sneaking around and keeping secrets from her! "I can't believe you would tell her and not me!"
ARISTA: “I mean I live at home so it wasn’t as if I wasn’t going to notice Daddy talking on the phone quietly and smiling more and rushing out to things.” Arista gave a slight shrug. “I thought everyone just kind of figured it out too.” She looked between everyone and then looked to Jake and Alana, “But also that doesn’t explain why you two are being weird, or why there’s a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom. Someone in this house peed on it.” She took a sip of her drink before calling after the Bon-Lyons, “Doesn’t it matter that your mom is happy?” Before turning to everyone else, “Or that Daddy is also happy? That they’re happy together?”
ALANA: Simba had dramatically gotten up and stormed out. Alana had half a mind to do the same thing, but instead, she just stuck her tongue out at Aquata. She did feel a little better that Aquata hadn't known about this whole JEFF x Sarabi situation and that she hadn't been the last person to find out.
"To be fair, he didn't tell me -- he was just rubbish at keeping it a secret --" Arista spoke and Alana realized there was still an elephant in the room. One shaped like two bright pink lines. "Wait -- so who's pregnant?!" She gasped and whirled to face JEFF. "Is it Sarabi?!"
ATTINA: "Oh my god," Attina exclaimed, rolling her eyes at the same moment that JEFF said:
"Young lady!"
And Sarabi paled, looking like she was going to just disappear.
"It's me!” Attina shouted. “I am pregnant. Neptune."
This wasn't how Attina wanted to do this. She was going to tell everyone today! At the end of dinner, maybe. She had already had suspicion a few weeks ago and taken a test then, but she'd taken another one this morning to confirm things. Thank Neptune she'd already talked all of this over with Panic. If they wanted to tell her family right away or wait...just in case. But, telling them now had felt like the right thing.
And now, apparently, it was the necessary thing.
"Yeah, it's me! Happy everyone?" she huffed and flopped back a little in her seat, face red, scowling slightly that her surprise had been ruined.
AQUATA: For once, Aquata didn't have a response to that. She just stared at Attina, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide.
Tina? Pregnant? Again?
If she had known it were Tina, she would never have made such a to-do about the pregnancy test. Sure, she would have wanted Tina to tell her, but she knew this was a sensitive topic for her sister. But somehow, she had convinced herself it was Lana. And now she felt quite stupid
But... she also felt really excited. Like, tentatively so. But... okay, she could forget the hurt feelings and the frustration and the shock of finding out about Daddy and Mrs. Lyons for a second, because... Tina was pregnant?
"Wait..." Aquata said, and then she realized she didn't know what to say next. Her eyes were shiny and a little watery, and there was just a little bit of glee behind her tone. "Tina... for real?"
ALANA: "Oh my gosh!" Alana, who was still standing let us remember, shoved her chair aside and scurried towards the other side of the table and threw her arms around both Attina and Roman, pulling them into a hug while they were both sitting and she was standing, which meant that their heads knocked against her bosom, like she was some sort of Virgin Mary in a stained glass window and both Attina and Roman were but wee babes.
"Oh my God! Congratulations! Ah! I'm so glad it's you and not me!"
ARISTA: Arista was already on the verge of tears as she spoke, “Oh Atty that’s so great.” She’d have to craft a new lullaby. She looked at the two of them and Alana then to Jake who looked like he’d dodged the biggest bullet of his life and was now attempting to relax.
ATTINA: This wasn't exactly how she wanted all of this to go down. Especially considering the news about Sarabi and Daddy. Attina had no idea how she felt about that. She should probably be happy for Daddy. It wasn't like she didn't worry about him all the time but...
She didn't want another mum. Not that she thought Sarabi was trying to replace Athena...but it was still weird. And her mum feelings were extra complicated, on account of having been one and becoming one again.
Mums, apparently, were the theme of this Christmas.
Someone took her hand. She looked over and smiled a little at Panic. Then 'oofed' as Alana came over to hug her. She laughed and reached up to touch her sister's arm.
Right.
They could figure out the Sarabi thing later. Right now--she wanted to smile with her family and share this with them, while she could.
"Thank you," Attina chuckled. Her gaze slid to her dad, who was smiling, blue eyes twinkling with tears. He winked at her across the table and she blushed, but smiled, feeling tears in her own throat.
"That's lovely, dear," Sarabi said and Attina smiled at her too.
"Thank you. We're very excited. And we can't wait for all of you to be a part of it. Happy Christmas! Now, uhm, let's eat!"
JEFF chuckled, letting out a relieved breath. "Yes. Food sounds good. Dig in. We still have to open presents!"