#sympto-thermal method

[camillerosemarydasilva]

How I Got Pregnant (Again 🙃)

Today is my birthday. 27 years ago my mother was going through childbirth.

In a few weeks, I’ll be going through childbirth too. Happy and harrowing thought. 😅

This baby is our surprise child. We weren’t planning on getting pregnant when our first baby was only 9 months old. 

So there I was, on the beginning stretch of our band’s yearly Christmas tour, sitting in the car. Just staring out the window. And suddenly realizing that I smelled the Pregnancy Smell. 

Yes. Ew.

I quickly texted James, who had been on a short branch-off tour, and told him to go buy a First Response pregnancy test before I saw him that night. 

I love out-of-the-blue texts!

I then clandestinely looked at my fertility chart. James and I use Natural Family Planning for child spacing, though I warn you, our system is slightly improvisational and highly subject to whimsy, which is most definitely not recommended if you want to enjoy NFP’s 99.9% efficacy rate. 

The chart showed me that there was indeed a tiny window of possibility.

I remembered the fateful day. I was standing in my kitchen, knowing we were on the brink of the abstinence period, googling “How long does sperm live?”

And Google Answers told me “2-3 days”.

Well, sitting in the car on that Christmas tour I googled it again and saw another Google Answers that said "3-5 days." 

God has a sense of humor. And Google Answers is definitely not dependable.

From my calculations, this baby would be on the 5-6 day mark. 

The next morning I peed on both sticks at once and Gabriel and I watched as two pink lines showed up on one and a bright bold YES appeared on the other one. My overwhelming feeling was that of shock. It had taken us over 6 months to get pregnant with Gabriel. Thanks to charting, I had finally analyzed my cycles enough to know that my body doesn’t produce enough progesterone to successfully ovulate. After consulting my naturopath and getting on a wild yam supplementation, I got pregnant within the first cycle.

And here I was, pregnant by such a margin! I was thrilled. I had been so afraid I would never get pregnant easily. 

I was also worried. There were many reasons why we had been spacing between Gabriel and the next one. All those reasons flooded my mind in one fell swoop. I was still anemic from my blood loss with Gabriel and had been advised to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. Gabriel was not 10 months old and nursing very heartily...would my milk dry up? Would he lose precious baby bonding time? How was I supposed to take care of a crawling baby while I went through the difficulties of pregnancy? Our sedan was already too small for one child and a guitarist’s gear, let alone two children. We had just bought our first house, a brand-new condo, which, though cute, didn’t have room for a nursery, so we would have 2 babies in our room. We were on an insurance plan that didn’t totally cover maternity. And I would be going through childbirth again in only 8 months, which sounded daunting to say the least. I had just started to feel like I was getting back to my pre-pregnancy shape, and here I was about to go through the metamorphosis again. 

I went in to the  hotel bedroom and woke James up telling him I was pregnant, as I did with Gabriel. James was so happy. I told him all that I was feeling and he immediately swept my worries all to the wind.

You're beautiful! We're going to have a baby! Gabriel is going to have a sibling! We're going to have bunches of kids! 18 months apart is great!

But we would be smart. I would take care of myself in this pregnancy, build up my blood count, take high-end prenatal vitamins, take milk-boosting supplements to keep Gabriel on the breast as long as possible. 

And as for the other stuff, who cares? Who ever shaped the cookie cutter of the American standard? Who ever decided that the litmus test of life success was what car you have? Of what house you live in? How much money you have in your savings account? If you have stretch marks or not?

I read somewhere later that only 3% of sperm live over 3 days in a fertile woman. This was one persevering warrior! 

Then the feeling overwhelmed me. I was fiercely glad. Fiercely glad that I had done nothing to inhibit God's will. Fiercely glad that the soul inside of me had won out over a new car or a bigger house. 

This baby is God-breathed, God-desired. Loved by his mother and father. And I can't wait to see him or her on the other side of my skin.

[bodylit101]

Are you scared to try non-hormonal birth control, like the Fertility Awareness Method?

What’s kept you from using natural birth control?

Do non-hormonal birth control choices freak you out because they seem too risky when you could just keep taking the Pill*?

Perhaps the Symto-Thermal Method’s 99.6% perfect-use effectiveness rates make you skeptical. You don’t believe it will work for you and your body.

Trying natural birth control seems irresponsible and you don’t need the added pressure to get it 100% right.

Maybe you have flashbacks to various home remedies you tried in the past that had disastrous results. 

I feel you. The fear is totally valid when you are absolutely avoiding pregnancy. 

Now I wouldn’t trade the self-knowledge and empowerment FAMs have given me (in addition to effective birth control!) for the hormonal options that kept me in the dark about my body’s awesomeness.

*when I say, “the Pill,” I’m referring to all hormonal birth control types like the Mirena IUD, the ring, patch, shot...etc.

Know Thyself

Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) of non-hormonal birth control are highly effective because they allow the woman to know with a large degree of certainty whether she is capable of getting pregnant each day of her cycle.

When I first started using FAMs, I felt really alone with the choice. None of my friends were using the method and I think some thought I was nutso for attempting. 

But I was determined. I wanted FAMs to work for me so I totally committed to the practice. 

FAMs offer a lot more than birth control, they’re more like a lifestyle.

Natural birth control needs you to participate every day.

In the beginning, I was overly vigilant of my fertility signs and what my body was doing each day. I tried to embody what was going on and connect my observations to where I was in my cycle. 

Now I take a more relaxed approach to tracking my fertility - without worrying about compromising the method’s effectiveness. Eventually, knowing your cycle of fertility becomes second nature. It’s part of you.

Here are four tips to help you feel more at ease with your transition to Fertility Awareness Methods for effective non-hormonal birth control:

Trust your intuition. Listen to that small voice inside that’s telling you that your body and reproductive health is a safe path for you to explore. This is the voice that will guide and inform you on your journey with natural birth control. 

Gather your tools & get curious. Find barrier methods you know how to use correctly (like a condom, spermicide, sponge, VCF) and use them consistently while you are learning your cycle. Practice friendly curiosity with your body and patience with your learning process. FAMs aren’t a quick fix procedure like getting an IUD. It takes time to learn what’s normal for your body. 

Stay consistent. As with all new skills, when you’re learning Fertility Awareness, all of the new information can seem overwhelming. It definitely takes effort but it’s worth it when you can know by looking at your waking temperature if you’ve ovulated or you’re about to start your period. Your body is amazing, let it guide you.

Find support where you need it. I read and re-read Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler and I consulted with a local FA teacher to make sure I was doing everything correctly These days there are lots of options for classes. And, if you’re finding that the things you were covering up by being on the Pill are coming back, your best best is to find one-on-one help dealing with all the stuff with a health coach who’s specially trained in women’s heath and fertility...psst, that’s me!

Besides being a fantastically effective and reliable method for birth control, the Fertility Awareness Method teaches you more about your body and yourself than anything you can get from your doctor. 

I support your journey to find the best method of contraception for you, and I want you to explore your femininity’s full expression without suppression. So if you have any questions about this post...or anything really, click here to talk to me. I love hearing from you!