#synonymrambles

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My contribution to a lovely gym ambient is being the woman who is asked how to open a gym locker door that got stuck and being like "you just kind of..." *SLAM* "...slam it." And then having these women look at me like "you know what, yeah! A little violence goes a long way with inanimate objects!"

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sometimes i’ll be filtering out some bad bits from natural juice (like seeds or pulp) through my teeth and instantly i am transported into the body of a giant humpback whale 

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Me trying not to cough on the bus in the midst of Coronavirus panic

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I’m rewatching Ant Man because I need more Scott Lang in my life because writing him was so much fun and like...I need to have Scott Lang in every fic from now on. I kind of want to write both him and Luis in the future because that would be HILARIOUS

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hockey is so funny with its penalty box. it’s just like, “ you naughty, dirty boy, you! you go sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done.” 

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If half of Europe ends up quarantined, I’m counting on you home-ridden fuckers to read some goddamn fic and leave some nice comments. God knows you won’t have anything better to do

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I made Tinder yesterday (i know, i know wtf) and there's this section where you have to tag your "passions" and I thought one of them said panicking and I was like hell yeah and went to click it only to then realize it said 'picnicking'

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I need everyone to know this is what Tumblr thinks i'm interested in

I thought it was an ad for bad wigs