#sys mems

[dr-alto-cowboy]

How amazing it felt to join the foundation and not have to bunk with 20 other men in the same room anymore 💙💚🤎💙💚🤎💙💚🤎 The GOC sucked so much ass

[dr-alto-cowboy]

I miss my daughter so much. It's a reoccurring pain in my chest to think about her and her life. So so badly I want to go back and save her I want to redo and reconsider every option I had available to me. I know I did as much as I could but I still wish I did more for her. I hope she's somewhere safe now. I hope she feels no pain. She deserves to feel comfortable and safe hidden away from everyone and everything.

[dr-alto-cowboy]

Hi! If you haven't seen me before I'm Dr. Clef. Here are a few things I plan on doing short term and long term to make me feel more connected to the life I used to have and just how I am now!

Random Things I Plan On Doing To Make Me Feel More Like Myself Part 1!!

• Dental Fangs (I just want pointy teeth again)

• Scp Logo Tattoo (Everyone was required to get them when you joined and were of a certain clearance. Made it easier to identify your body if it was blown up. Always located on the torso! Mine will probably be on my back left shoulder or my front pec)

• Getting my name changed (depends on how many more years I'm host for so not 100% decided but it wouldn't negatively impact my career or life) tbd

• Buying an abandoned school with Bright and converting it into something simular to how I remember the foundation looking ( very long term goal! But would be so fun and validating for myself to see something familiar every day )

• Putting pictures over all photos of my face that are physical and hanging them on my wall!

• Collecting more 80s memorabilia and random stuff the foundation used to have (70s-90s technology and office supplies)

• Green contacts to put one in my left eye! (I ALREADY DO THIS YAY))

• Buying an M12 (Pretty..miss my baby)

• Playing the Ukulele and Guitar better (Just skills I want to get better at)

• Maybe an alto clef tattoo on my wrist •:3??

• Growing out a full Goatee!! (Wanted to since I was a kid oughhh)

• Work out more (I want bigger arms and pecs! Maybe end up gaining more weight as well we will see!)

Thats all for now but there are lots of other little things I do that make me feel euphoria!!

[dr-alto-cowboy]

How I joined the Foundation

Estimated Time: 1970s (?) Before coming to terms with being a reality bender.

To make it quick, after I joined the Air Force, I was transferred to the GOC. During my time at the GOC,I killed a lot of harder to kill anomalies but specialized in killing reality benders (though I did not know they were called that, then).

One day I was with a lot of other people to kill an especially hard to kill reality bender (referred to as a deity). Most of the people with me on that mission did not survive and I was not sure why I did. At the time I had not come to terms with being a reality bender/sink and did not consider myself as anomalous.

It was on this same mission out in the field that I met Dr Bright and his colleagues. None of them wore the kind of full body protective gear we did. Most of them were writing things down and taking samples of things. He identified me as a GOC agent and explained they were with the SCP foundation. Typically it would have been protocol to kill any unexpected witnesses but I really did not care that much especially after my whole fucking squad just died horrifically. Bright asked me to join the foundation, and he was extremely outgoing and convincing. My honest main deciding factor was the foundation's benefits. They had way better health insurance than the GOC. Including dental •:^).

[dr-alto-cowboy]

‧₊ ᵎᵎ Random memory drop ⋅ ˚✮

I remember the day they banned furbies from the foundation..they were a huge hit at my site when they first came out and Bright had a SHIT ton of them

Unfortunely, since Bright straight up lived there, there was nothing he could do and Konny ended up taking more than a few from him. He definitely wasn't supposed to but we had a lot of them floating around our house for a while. Idk what ended up happening to them.

[dr-alto-cowboy]

📼 Intro ᯓ★

Volume A: Personal Beliefs, Notes, Introduction and Explanation

▄︻デ══━一 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💥

Hey there it's Dr. Clef//Mr. Clef//Peepaw whatever yall wanna call me.

I'm a fictive of Dr Alto Clef from a source called the SCP Foundation Wiki, I highly suggest giving my personnel file a read if you'd like more base information on who exactly I am, linked for your convenience.

The SCP Foundation's 'top-secret' archives, declassified for your enjoyment.

Now while I am a fictive, part of a DID system, I believe all my source memories are real. Everything I did, everything that happened to me, everything I saw/felt/smelled/heard/whatever- happened.

Personally ,

I believe in reincarnation and the multiverse. Every decision that could possibly be made every reality that could possibly exist- does!

Outside our ability to see it all going on at different times, different places, different forms of life entirely. It is infinite, and it is always. One universe a man is drinking orange juice in his kitchen, another he is a robot drinking motor oil.

Allll kinds of weird crazy possibilities.

I also believe everything is recycled. Over and over again. Including our experiences and lives. Not sure what to call it, consciousness, soul, life. But I think we get recycled over and over through different universes living different lives. When we die we just start that cycle right over again.

And when we die we forget completely about the life we have previously, stuck somewhere unimportant in our brain so our new life and new personality can form!

So what went wrong?

Why am I here? Well just to be clear as a system there is more than just me here, I just wanted my own account.

But one of the leading studies on DID in the medical community is that when you are a small child your brain is compartmentalized into all these little parts, and as you grow older (around 5-6) these parts start forming together.

However, if the child is not given the proper environment to grow those parts, they will not form together properly. Frequent/constant childhood abuse can cause those parts not to form together into one person.

I believe hiding in all different parts around the brain are past lives/memories/experiences that now all have to work together to be one person. Or better to say: work together and cohab one body.

AND SO THAT BRINGS ME TO THE MAIN POINT OF THIS ACCOUNT!

I've been around for a while, before we even know we were a system I've been remembering things and trying to keep track of them all. I have the most memories out of all of our system and I'd like to have a record of them somewhere even if out of order.

I died in my late 40s/ early 50s. Born somewhere around the late 40s or early 50s. So most of my memories take place in the 80s/90s .

While working at the SCP Foundation we had access to a lot more advanced technology than the general public has access to! Not anything you'd see in the 2020s but maybe some pieces you'd see in the 2000s/2010s.

Had close relationships with Dr. Bright, Dr. Kondraki, and a few others.

As far as I am aware, my experiences highly diverge from cannon SCP Wiki. At least anything recent.

So stick around!!! I post all kinds! Including art sometimes! I'll have maps of locations and the sites I worked at. Drawn out examples of what things looked like to me in the moment, and random shit!!

[dr-alto-cowboy]

More GOC stuff

I actually don't have a lot of memories of the GOC so this'll be some of the last non foundation memories.

This thang is also long bear with me

Tw for shady shit and people dying. I donno how to tag things

It still makes me uncomfortable

▄︻テ══━一꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ╾━╤デ╦︻

☆ I didn't know what a reality bender was until the GOC and in the GOC, we called them something else, I don't remember now.

But as far as I know, I was born a reality bender.

I was in denial about it for a majority of my life

I just assumed I was crazy or making things up- and then when I joined the GOC, and I really got to know what I was (at the same time as climbing the ladder to be one of the leading reality bender temanators)

I went even heavier into denial.

☆

A large part of my training when I first joined the GOC was learning about how dangerous reality benders were and why it was important to terminate them at all costs.

((You get tested for which branch of the GOC you'd be best for the same as the US military))

The situation that really put eyes on me as someone who they favored to kill reality benders was really shit though.

I befriended someone at the GOC. Most of us were soldiers, like me, who transferred to the GOC from the military. But we called each other coworkers.

((Fun fact people from all over the world with different militaries joined the GOC. As long as they weren't allies with Russia at the time, anyone qualified was welcome.))

There was this one dude who wasn't in the military very long at all- but he was incredibly smart. He was younger than us, I was in my mid/late-20s at the time this dude had a baby face and was in his very early 20s. I wish so badly I remembered his name.

☆He was with me in an earlier GOC memory I recorded here, with the elderly couple.

((Linked above))

We went on a couple field missions like that and everything turned out fine.

But one of our first missions was against a reality bender that was known to be dangerous.

It had killed multiple people, in the village it was near. The people there had documents for a long time- like decades of it.

It lived in the woods nearby, and it's first reccorded history was when it started to kill and eat their livestock. The village had some kind of religious tie to it, and it stopped eating their livestock after this.

The documents also said it used to grant blessings but suddenly stopped and started harming them. Have no clue how old it was, but this was one of our first missions against a known dangerous reality bender.

There was probably a some more info about it but I don't remember now.

We had and idea of what it was gonna look like based on drawings and written descriptions.

My squad had about 15-25 people in it, including my friend. I was in the back, not one of the first people to go. He was also near the back but not as far as I was.

I forget which strategy we used to corner it. But a handful of my coworkers in the front were highly trained. Together, they'd probably killed over 100 reality benders. They'd been in the GOC for a long time. It was way faster than we had time for, we were waiting for the signal to "go" in but it never came.

Screaming came in the distance from all different sides of the forest.

A man near my friend rushed in, and my friend followed him, as he was supposed to. I yelled at him to "Wait!!" But he was already in the forest.

All the fucking gear they give us is useless if we don't know how to use it or have the time to use it. And it picked us off quickly. In only an hour and a half, everyone but myself and 3-4 other inexperienced people near me were left.

I actually got to see it. It was white and glowing and huge. Wavy white cloth that resembled clothing, but more like skin. it looked like an angel at the time. We were all next to each other, someone may have yelled to not look at it but it was hard to hear.

Staring at it was a bad idea, it easily tranced and ate my coworker to my left. I got a different gun out. Other people were still shooting at it. It's kind of blurry I don't remember much of what I was doing at this point- trying to kill it obviously.

We should have just retreated, but there was still a possibility people were alive in there. I didn't wanna leave my friend. I didn't wanna accept this thing, just ate everyone I knew. I didn't have any other family ties or friends. They were the only people I ever got to really trust at the time. So them dying really fucked me up.

One of my coworkers managed to wound it, I think he was the only one other than me still standing at this point. He may have also been the one to tell us to look away.

Because of him I was able to kill it. I don't know what I did differently. I busted a hole in it's skull. It fell to the ground. I kept shooting it, it tried to scurry away, it waved it's hand at my like it was trying to do something to me. I blew it's hand off.

It only held up half a face at this point, I dont know if it was scared or angry. I got on top of it, it didn't stand much of a chance at this point.

So shot it, again and again and again until it was pulp and I was covered in pulp. I didn't stop when it splattered in my eye. I didn't stop when I breathed it in my nose.

I think only one man other than me was left. There were some other men but they were wounded badly, didn't survive the trip back. I salvaged what I could of identification markers. I was able to ID the body of my friend.

Most of my coworkers left were only half bodies.

I was promoted because of this. But I fucking hated working for the GOC. They should have had us prepared we should have been rolling in there with a fucking tank. I think they had a habit of "accidental" casualties because they were trying to wean off anyone not "strong enough"

And there were always more eager idiots like me from the military wanting to join.

But I came back differently after that. A lot more angry and cared about my life a lot less. I joined the foundation about a year later.

[dr-alto-cowboy]

Some misc memories about my timeline/childhood

Process of blowing up the challenger and time differences

▄︻テ══━一꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ╾━╤デ╦︻

☆ When I blew up the challenger, I was A LOT younger. It happened waaaay before the 80s, and I did it on accident.

Also, in my timeline, Big Bird from Sesame Street was,unfortunately, on the challenger at the time. RIP 😔

I remember I was watching it on TV and the whole thing was filmed live, Sesame Street had a huge promotion about it.

I was staring at the TV, and I was really emotional for some reason and then just out force into picturing it exploding, and the mfer just exploded.

At the time, I didn't know what I was doing. I brushed it off as me being paranoid and that it was unrelated.

I have very few memories of my childhood, but that was one of them, lol ☆

BONUS

☆☆☆

I also did not have 3 eyes as a child, I don't know when my third one formed or if I just wasn't aware of it.

But it was always on my forehead at the foundation- even if I made it so other people couldn't recognize it/ focus on it, or having bangs that covered my forehead + a hat.

Have a theory it was maybe inside of me looking at my brain or something gross like that