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I’M NOT WRITING THIS - I yell while writing it.

-sigh-

Part 2 of the Trash Can fic is here. I’m seriously not writing this, and this is honestly just scenes from the fic as a whole, but as the scenes come to me I’m writing them - I’ll expand this eventually.

yes, I am tagging this “my trashy trope fic”

Part 1 Here

“Lieutenant, I need to talk to you.”

Cassian looks up from what he’s working on, a simple encryption he’s trying to break, and sees Colonel Draven standing there, looking… almost apologetic. If he were the sort to joke, Cassian would have asked who had died, but given the fact that he had no family, no one he cared about, no one that mattered… there was no one for the Colonel to give him bad news about. At least, not given the grave way that the man was holding himself.

“Of course, Colonel. Is this about the last mission?”

It had been a messy one, but his cover wasn’t blown, the intel was good, and casualties had been minimal.

“No, no… Cassian, this is about the ____________ Mission.”

He blinks at the man, parsing through the knowledge in his brain, remembering what exactly it had entailed. He remembered that the data had been used to interrupt shipment lines, stopping the arrival of heavy weaponry to that sector. “That was almost a year ago, Colonel.”

Draven nods slightly, and then steps further into the room, a small storage room that Cassian nearly considered to be his office. It was primarily for studying and working on his training with newer Imperial tech, or just passing time until the next mission. Nothing really important, and certainly below the man in front of him.

“Recent… intelligence was passed through, and I intended on sending you back in, to use your former contact.”

Contact. He meant the Imperial tech that he had slept with to get the data. A pretty girl, enlisted in the Galatic Empire because she had nothing better to do, and didn’t really believe in the cause. Sleeping with her had been easy - getting the data was even easier. She had been trusting, too trusting, but she hadn’t truly believed in the cause… he could have turned her, with time.

“I could turn her, sir. I believe my debrief included that. What am I searching for this time?”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

And now, there was a choking silence. Something had happened, but clearly the Colonel didn’t want to continue with his thoughts. Cassian rose from where he had been sitting, as he hadn’t risen before, but now…

“Was my cover blown?”

It was one of the most precious ones they had, Joreth Sward, who had access to… every reach of Empirical control. He could go anywhere, see anything, do anything… Losing this would mean a price on his head, greater than anything before.

“The girl is dead.”

Cassian blinked, the only response he had to the statement… she was a pretty girl, yes, but not one of any note. He didn’t even remember her first name, so why was Draven looking at him as though someone important had died?

“Because of me, or?”

The silence is crushing, and finally, Draven runs a hand over his face as he lets out a sigh, as though the truth will come otu eventually, and he can’t hold it in any longer. “There’s a child. Two months old. The mother died from complications. It only just crossed our radar when we considered sending you back in.”

There’s a child.

Cassian can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t even process this information, the words repeating in his mind. He’s frozen, unresponsive, just like a good spy, one that has been trained to take anything, any sort of torture, to not respond, to process and analyze before moving forward, and he’s… he can’t process it, can’t think it through, because whatever words he had ever thought would be thrown at him, whatever future he saw for himself-

There’s a child.

“Where is the child now?” His voice is calm, calm and ice, not betraying the raging storm within him now. There’s a child, his child, if Draven is to be believed… or perhaps not, but they had been together for some time, and two months old, plus the duration of the pregnancy… unless she had been sleeping with another during his time undercover, the child was his.

“The child is in the care of an orphanage on the planet. As it is under Empirical rule, the child will likely become a Stormtrooper.”

Every part of him was screaming, that his child could not be taken by them, that he would not let his child become a soldier, and not for the enemy - but he couldn’t respond, frozen.

“Of course, that is unacceptable. Should the child’s origins be discovered, and your cover blown, it could be used against you.” Draven was hard as he spoke, and then softened slightly. “With your permission… we intend on having the child adopted by a family that is loyal to the Rebellion. They were active in the Clone Wars, older, and can give the child a quiet and peaceful life.”

“Do it.” He couldn’t say anything more, still frozen where he stood, still processing the information. His child could have a life, a happy life, perhaps. It would be safe from the reach of the Empire, safe with a family that could protect him.

There’s a child.

“... That’s it? No other questions?”

Cassian blinked, and sucked in a breath as he finally looked to the Colonel. The man was studying him, but Cassian… he couldn’t even respond further. He couldn’t ask any questions, couldn’t…

There’s a child.

“No sir.”

Draven nodded once, then stepped to go out the door, but waited a moment longer to watch Cassian. Cassian was still frozen in place, not moving, breath held again….

“I’ll make the file of the family accessible to you, along with their location. No one else will know, save for you and I. Should you require an extra day of travel when returning from assignments… it would be understandable.”

He jerked his head in a nod, still frozen, because Cassian… he would have wanted that, if he could process anything going on around him. Frozen still, he waited until the door was shut, and then sat down hard into his seat.

There’s a child.

He kept it together long enough for the sound of the Colonel’s footsteps to fade, and then he broke down crying.

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