#take_up_space

[elle-fit-fashion]

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[elle-fit-fashion]

Changing The Game

I found myself browsing the aisles at Chapters this evening looking for more books like Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In.  I was looking for information from strong female thought leaders.  As I sifted through the sections in business, culture, gender studies and even self help, I realized the common theme in my search.  I’m not just hungry to hear the stories of how women “succeed” in an economy still dominated by men or how to make the best of an imbalanced world; I want to learn about how we change it.  I want to learn how I can be a part of this change.  Having spent many years in the world of business I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve questioned my methods.  Do I speak up about what I see going on around me or will I get slammed?  Even more practically, do I have the time to try to deal with the bureaucracy in breaking down these systems?  Is it “strategic” to stay silent or do I stand up and use my voice?  I’m a true believer in speaking the truth and doing so unapologetically.  Why is it so difficult to stand for something in a professional environment? 

SO here’s where I see a deep interest and passion of mine coming to more detailed fruition.  Without question, I am saddened by the lack of material I came home with.  Maybe I need to become more proficient at a book store audit, but it shouldn’t be this hard for women to come across such important content.  Where I could see an almost empty shelf, I choose to see a space for opportunity.  

I spent years sitting on the sidelines as a little girl.  I recall all to well what it was like to be chosen last to play on the team.  The result was that I often didn’t play at all.  Becoming fit emotionally, mentally and physically, I have learned maybe I want to play the game.  Maybe I want to “sit at the table” the way Sheryl Sandberg so inspirationally encourages.  This has resonated with me since her book came out in 2013.  

While driving home tonight I came to  a very important understanding with myself.  I want the option to play the game, but even more importantly, I want to change the game.  In order to change the game, I MUST sit at the table. I want to change the way this table systemically operates so that other women  potentially sceptical, may one day want to sit at the table too.  I want to sit at a table where we lift each other up and where women collaborate.  I want to sit at a table where a woman isn’t constantly confronted with the necessity to turn a blind eye just to save face.  I want to sit at a table where a woman isn’t required to sacrifice her human rights in order to remain “tactful”. 

If I had a little girl I would raise her to take up her space in the world.  It turns out I have a little boy and I believe it is SO important for him to learn to share space equally with the women around him, while he takes up his space too.  

It’s been an epic change going back to school after so many years.  Is it ever hard dropping my little one off at daycare in the mornings.  I miss our days together and sometimes feel guilty as a single mother that I don’t have time to read more up to the minute information on parenting.  What I realize is that my son doesn’t see what I read, he sees what I do.  I want my son to see his mother dusting off and going back to school to re-educate; to do whatever it takes.   I want my son to have a roll model who teaches him to go after his dreams.  I want my son to know the importance of doing whatever it is that sets his soul on fire; whatever this looks like.  I want him to know quality over quantity and to understand the meaning of equality in real life rather than just by reference. I’m not sure if this will happen in his generation.  When I come home at night we soak in every moment we spend together.  Each squeeze and each turning of the bedtime story page is priceless.  When I know he is sound asleep, I get to my homework and albeit exhausted, I am SO grateful for the chance to be doing it all.  I truly believe the biggest gifts come out of facing our fears head on.

Who knew that the choice to become physically strong would lead to so many liberating opportunities!  

To be continued....