I’ve started doing EMDR with my therapist and I can’t follow her fingers with my eyes ahshdnfk
We’ve only started installing a safe place but I wasn’t able to visualize and follow with my eyes at the same time, I was concentrating so hard I was holding my breath. She tried tapping on my hands laying on my knees with my eyes closed and that worked, if I can focus I’m good at imagining/visualizing. I kinda floated up there in the middle of it and started doing stuff in there, it felt cozy and I went all floppy at the end. I got distracted after it because I was trying to close my hands into fists and I just couldn’t gather the strength to do it, I mentioned it to my therapist and she wrote it down. I’m always winded so tight so I it’s good.
I really have a problem with letting go, she tried to let me space to cry during a difficult session and I managed to only let a tear slip and was just clenching up so hard and everything between my eyes and clenched fists just disappeared, it was a bad kind of fuzzy but at least in meant I was able to get a little more vulnerable around her, last year I wouldn’t have been able to do it. But during this last session it was a good kind of fuzzy and it was nice to notice the difference. And that it worked, I have a hard time with stuff where I’m supposed to do things because I just don’t think it can happen but therapists have degrees for a reason lmao. She was able to work around my insecurities pretty well I didn’t even notice it was working. We still have some sessions about this before we start digging into the difficult parts so I can relax for a little longer lol