‘Maybe Frodo knows a story or two about Sam,’ Aragorn said. He stretched his long legs in front of him. The sky was now full of stars and everyone was just tipsy or high enough to start talking. Except Sam, apparently.
'I do,' Frodo said.
'Well, you should tell one,' Pippin said.
'Enlighten us,’ Aragorn agreed.
Sam looked at Frodo, with pleading eyes. ‘Nothin’ embarrassing.’
Frodo ignored him. ‘All right,' he said. He took another swig of beer. 'So when Sam was little.'
Galadriel smiled. 'How little?'
'Like... eight. So he was eight and was over reading poems. I was almost twenty at the time. Visiting Bilbo.'
'So he was a baby to you,' Aragorn said.
'Yes, he was a little dear with the biggest brown eyes,' Frodo said. ‘He would absorb everything, but he liked stories and poems the most.'
Sam looked away.
'Anyway,' Frodo said. 'So Bilbo and I are the only other ones at home. I was visiting for about a week then. So we leave Sam reading in the chair — this is when he's just learning how to.’
Sam frowned. He didn't know if he knew this story.
'And go into the kitchen. A moment later we hear a scream! So we come running back in and Sam's off the chair on the rug. Bilbo's asking him what's wrong and he keeps going nothing nothing and he doesn't look hurt. So we all calm down and then Bilbo reaches for the book. And it's gone.
‘So he asks Sam where the book is. And Sam says a goblin took it. All with big brown eyes full of tears and bottom lip quivering. And Bilbo's all like, where did the goblin go, Sam?'
Sam straightened up in the swing.
'And Sam says the big bad goblin ran up the chimney! So Bilbo says that's no good! We have to chase it down before it hurts anyone! And he marches off and gets Sting, right?'
'Right!' Pippin said.
'He comes back, and Sam's all in tears. I'm holding him, but he won't say anything. He just points at the chimney. So we go outside and look around for this Book Stealing Goblin.
‘And we tramp all around the hill before Bilbo asks Sam that we'd better go ask his dad if he's seen the goblin. Then Sam wails out, “no!” and starts sobbing. So Bilbo takes him from me. And we all go back inside.
‘So I search the chair for the book. Because I figure he probably shoved it down the back of the cushion. But it's not there. And the chair isn't wet. I thought he'd spilled his milk on it and was fibbing.'
'Was there a goblin?' Pippin said.
Frodo held up his hand.
'So then I look up and out the window these huge glowing eyes are staring at me. And Sam points at them and shrieks, “that’s the goblin!”
'Well, I grab Sting and run out the house before Bilbo can say anything. And...’ Frodo paused for drama. Sam shifted in the swing.
'It was a blasted raccoon,' Frodo said. 'Came down the chimney.'
'No!' Pippin said.
'Yes! All covered in soot! Scared the daylight out of poor Sam. Snatched that book and ran!'
'In the middle of the day?' Merry said dubiously.
'It was night.'
'You're pulling our legs,' Boromir said.
'Snatched the book from his hand?' Merry said.
'It was the milk,' Boromir said.
'Snatched the book from his hand!' Frodo said. 'Clutched it in his little raccoon hands and ran straight back up the chimney.'
'You, my dear Frodo, are a liar and a thief,' Aragorn said. Frodo stared at him. Aragorn stared back.
'Okay, so it was the milk,' Frodo said with an exasperated toss of his head. 'And Sam'd flung it under the bookcase. But we didn't find it for a week. So the tale of the Book Snatching Raccoon travelled over the shire by then.’ Frodo smiled. ‘And I never told anyone the truth.'
Sam looked up at the sky.
'You hobbits believe some strange stuff,' Aragorn said. 'But you can tell a tale, hon. I'll give you that.'
‘Why thank you,’ Frodo said, trying to sound polite.
'He's a thief, liar, and a snitch now too,' Pippin said.
