76. "I need to pretend we're dating" AKA my favorite AU for any pairing ever
You’ve got good taste my friend!!! I need to take a nap
Chibita probably shouldhave known his day was about to go sideways when he heard a loud banging at hisdoor. He mentally went through achecklist of who could be paying him a visit at ten in the morning—wasn’t thenormal day for Totoko, Iyami was probably too hungover, he’d been clean for toolong for it to be the cops—as he crossed the room to the door. He was too small to see out the peephole so,as prepared as always to knock the lights out of any unwanted visitors, he tookthe chance and swung the door open.
Oh. Of course.
Karamatsustared down at him from the doorway, his fist raised mid-knock. He quickly pulled his hand back andsmiled. “Chibita!” he exclaimed. He looked sweaty and red-faced, like he’d runall the way here. Actually, from howheavily he was breathing, he probably had. Idiot. “H-how are—.” He gasped and cleared his throat and leanedagainst the doorframe, probably aiming for suave and composed, but onlymanaging to look tired and unsteady. “Hello.”
Chibitaeyed him suspiciously. “Hey.”
There was a beat ofsilence, filled by Karamatsu’s heavy breaths as he looked around nervously. He cleared his throat again and adjusted hisglasses on his face. “I, ah… Chibita, Ihave made a terrible mistake.”
“A terrible what now?”
“Ah—a mistake,” herepeated, this time in Japanese. He’dpulled back from the doorframe and was fiddling with one of the extra zipperson his leather jacket, still probably glancing around from behind thoseridiculously dark glasses of his. Damnhow did he even see with those on?
Chibita folded his arms,still not moving from the doorway. “Mistake, huh? What kind of mistake? I don’t gotta hide abody for you do I?”
“Wh—?Chibita, no!” He pulled back and wavedhis hands out in front of himself hastily. “No, I wouldn’t—Chibita you’re joking, right?”
Chibitashrugged.
Karamatsustared for a beat, then let out a small nervous “heh” and attempted once againto compose himself. He was fiddling withhis zippers again. “Ah, nothing quite sodrastic, my friend. I just require yourassistance with a, ah…” The bravado faltered a bit in his speech and he lookedaround again, but he didn’t seem to be checking for prying eyes and ears, justavoiding looking at Chibita.
Chibitatook a step back and motioned him inside. No use talking to him out here if it was getting them nowhere. Karamatsu smoothed his hair back and noddedtowards Chibita as he slipped in. Damn,he was nervous. What the hell did he do?
Chibitaclosed the door behind him and followed him into the living room. “What the hell did you do?”
Karamatsutook a steadying breath. He’d turnedbright red. “My family was invited to arelative’s wedding. The invitations weresent individually, of course. And I mayhave been a bit overly optimistic that a Karamatsu Girl or Boy would have seenmy charms and fallen head over heels directly into my waiting arms by now. At the time it seemed entirely reasonable,and perhaps it had been! It may onlyhave been by an incredible misfortune that I have not yet—“
“Didyou RSVP for a couple?” Chibitainterjected.
Henodded gravely. God, he was so dramatic. “Of course my mother saw and wasecstatic that I had found someone, and she told our relatives and friends and,ah, started asking me about my partner.” By now, he was sweating bullets, refusing to look up from theground. “Chibita, I just got so caughtup in the heat of the moment and the thought of being graced by the power ofCupid’s bow, I told them all about my invented lover, their grace and kindnessand all of their charms! But of course Ido not have such a lover.” He paused,then looked up at Chibita determinedly. “I am in too deep to back out now. So! Chibita, I-…” Karamatsutensed and seemed to shrink for a moment. “I need you to pretend to be my partner. T-to pretend we are dating.”
He’dseen it coming, but it still took a moment for Chibita to process what he’dsaid. Still, Chibita wasn’t one for longawkward silences, so he cut this one short with a sigh. “Sit down, Karaboy. I’m gonna go make some tea.”
Karamatsuobediently sat in front of the kotatsu while Chibita stepped into the kitchento for a minute to process and ignore and pour them some tea. Why, why, why did he keep getting involved inthis stupid sextuplet drama?
Whenhe sat back down with their cups, Karamatsu was fidgeting and staring very hardat the floor. He looked like he wastrying to will lightning to strike him or something. Poor guy. He looked up and breathed a thank you when Chibita handed him his tea,and they sat for a moment sipping from their cups, regretting the situation athand.
“Youknow I don’t have those magic prettygirl pills anymore, right?” Chibita asked.
“That’salright.” He adjusted his glasses againand blew on his tea. “My brothers wouldknow it was you anyway.”
“Andyou’re okay with that? I mean I know I’mnot the biggest catch out there so it’d be just as disappointing as if youdidn’t bring anyone, right?”
Karamatsulooked up sternly. “Of course you are acatch, Chibita! Anyone would be lucky tohave you!” Chibita snorted. “You are my dearest friend, an angel of compassion, a passionate andambitious man! You are full of Heart, Chibita! A shining star in the dark of the uncaringcruelty of the world! And of course,” heswept up Chibita’s hand and held it gently, putting on his suave smirk anddropping his voice, “who could overlook how handsome you are?”
Chibitachuckled his harsh “kekeke!” and slipped his hand away to hold it against hisreddening cheeks. His counterpart didn’tmove from his pose, but his smile widened at Chibita’s laugh. “Ah, you’re too much Karaboy! Too kind! You’re probably the only one who thinks all that, too.” He gradually settled himself down andKaramatsu rocked back to sit upright again. They went back to nursing their tea for a moment before Chibita spokeagain.
“Iguess since it’s you I wouldn’t mind. It’s just the one day, right?”
“Right.” Karamatsu nodded. “And there is free food.”
“Nice!”He thumped the table. “But, uh,” hesquirmed in his seat. “I don’t gottalike, kiss you or anything do I? We canjust sit next to each other and call it a day?”
Karamatsuran his thumb around the lip of his cup idly. “Hmm, I suppose public affection would provide for a more believableperformance, but it wouldn’t be necessary for this. Romantic language is a must, though.”
Ah. So he’d have to be able to sing his praisesall day, huh? That wasn’t so bad, hecould just complain about his shitty good-for-nothing brothers not appreciatinghim enough. He wouldn’t even need tofake that part.
“Alright,”Chibita said, extending a hand to shake. “Deal.”
--
Showingup as Karamatsu’s date had definitely been awkward. There’d been a fair bit of teasing from thoseother five hooligans—which Chibita had responded to with lots of threateningand yelling—and an uncomfortable amount of whispering from some of the moredistant relatives and friends of the bride and groom—which Chibita hadresponded to by squeezing Karamatsu’s hand a little tighter and guiding him toa quieter area. The worst part wasprobably lying to Mr. and Mrs. Matsuno about dating their son. They both seemed really happy about it and hedoubted he’d ever be on their good side again if he “broke up” with Karamatsuafter this.
Otherthan that, though, it was… it was nice. Karamatsu’s hands got sweaty very fast but holding hands was comfortingand made Chibita’s chest flutter in a way he hadn’t thought it would. They stood close, they joked, they sharedvictorious glances whenever someone bought their ruse; it was all a lot morefamiliar than Chibita was used to, but not unwelcome. He wouldn’t have ever asked Karamatsu to puthis arm around his shoulder, but when he casually did so in the middle of aconversation, Chibita found himself leaning into it. It was nice. It really was.
The wedding itself wasnice too, and the ceremony managed to move Karamatsu to tears (notsurprising). But Chibita’s attentionstrayed from the lucky couple to the man next to him. He slipped his hand into Karamatsu’s andleaned against him and tried to focus on the vows being exchanged instead of howmuch he wanted to keep this ruse up. Itdidn’t work, but he tried.
--
Chibitastopped his moped in front of the Matsuno household. The other five sextuplets and their parentshad gotten home hours before; even free food and beer hadn’t been enough tokeep them out if they had to see the kid they used to bully hanging on to theirbrother’s arm all night. And he hadbeen. They’d both probably had more todrink than they needed to at the reception and Chibita had practically been inKaramatsu’s lap by the time the others left. Well, not practically, it was actually. He had actually been in Karamatsu Matsuno’s lap. He probably shouldn’t have been driving.
Chibitaturned in his seat and killed the ignition. “Right. Karaboy, here’s yerstop.” Karamatsu groggily lifted hishead from Chibita’s shoulder, having been mostly asleep for the ride. The poor guy had barely drank anything beforehe was absolutely plastered, which hadn’t helped to stop the lap-sitting andgiggling and leaning into each other and weeping about how beautiful theceremony was. Yeah, yeah they reallyshould’ve just taken a cab.
Chibitashrugged his shoulder to push him off. “C’mon. Off.” Karamatsu groaned and struggled to situpright, but complied, slipping off to the side of the bike and immediatelyswinging around to pull Chibita into an embrace.
“O-oi! What gives?”
Karamatsu hummed, pressinghis cheek against Chibita’s. He smelled likecheap cologne and beer. “MmmChibita-kun,” he rumbled, “Tonight was…marv’lous. You were ‘credible, my love.” He pulled back a bit and slipped a hand up tocup Chibita’s face, the other sliding down to Chibita’s hip to steadyhimself. It didn’t work; he was stillvery wobbly. “Thank you… so much. I won’t— won’t forget. You were wonderful, my dear.”
Chibita snorted andcovered Karamatsu’s hand with his own. “Idjit. It’s nothing. Go home, buddy, yer drunk.”
Karamatsu closed his eyesand hummed again, leaning down until their foreheads touched. “So are you.”
“Yea an’ I’m goin’ home. Prob’ly—prob’ly should walk, huh?”
He felt Karamatsu nodagainst him and sigh. His breath was hotin the small space between them. “Is’pose… I should take you. Walk with you. A gentleman’ll keep you safe, hmmm?” Chibita shook his head. “Nah, I’m—I’m good. You just go home here.”
Karamatsupouted and hummed again. The way his lipstuck out it almost touched Chibita’s. He felt Karamatsu’s hand move up from his hip to his back and Karamatsuleaned closer to him. “Very well,m’love. My sweet Chibita. Then this’s goodbye.”
Chibita wasn’t surewhether he moved first or if Karamatsu just fell onto him as their lips crashedtogether, painful and awkward but still exactly what he wanted. It was sloppy and slow and in his drunkenstupor Chibita wasn’t entirely sure where his mouth was, but Karamatsu’s lipstasted like berries and his hands felt strong and sure as they pulled Chibitacloser and the cool night air suddenly felt so warm. He fumbled for Karamatsu’s hips to hold himsteady and wished they were in his apartment, that he’d have more time toexplore and taste and touch and be wrapped up in the man in front of him.
Karamatsupulled away too soon and let his hands slip away. It felt cold where they once were. He fluttered his long eyelashes and smiledwith his red lips—god, Chibita wanted to kiss them again.
“Oi…Thought you said we didn’ need that for the act to work.”
Karamatsusmiled coyly and wagged a finger as he stepped back towards his house. “Non non, my dear Chibita. That one’s just for you.”
i hate being mentally ill! i hate people telling me i'm making it up, i hate people telling me it could be worse, i hate people not taking me seriously when i'm upset, i hate people asking if i'm on my meds, i hate even having to take meds every morning just to function, i hate getting mocked for my manic quirks, and above all i just hate being mentally ill! i will be stuck with this disorder and all its shit until the day i die and i hate it!
i'm thinking about getting a service dog to help me remind to take my meds and calm down during episodes but i don't know how common it is for people with bipolar to do that
I know ESA’s are very common for people with bipolar disorder, but Emotional Support Animals are completely different than a fully trained service animal! If anyone that’s bipolar and has a service animal wants to comment, please feel free! I’d be interested to hear about this as well! -Sarah
Weird question and maybe it's just me but why does Karamatsu sometimes have boobies in the drawings of the Chinese set? Is that just my imagination? I've seen it a couple times so I'm really confused/curious
🌠 Mod Todo
It’s a product of the fandom (if I’m not wrong, I’m too outdated).
Turns out Chinese New Year!Karamatsu has a huge resemblance towards the protagonis of Ranma 1/2, which, if you guys are too young to know, it’s an anime where the protag suffers from a curse in which he transforms into a red-headed female (a genderbend of the protag) when in contact with cold water, and the viceversa effect happens when in contact with hot water.
That’s pretty much the explication, fandom shenanigans.
