#talkdoc

[shademidas]

someone: why are you obsessed with rick and morty?

me: coping mechanism

someone: coping with what?

me: being alive

[shademidas]

me: *stressed out over something that i developed/realized in the past 24 hours* my brain: now's not the time just,,,push it down,,,,leave it there,,,,we'll deal with this in a month,,,,

[shademidas]

i think im going through withdrawal rn

[shademidas]

my stomach just made a huge inhaling sound and let's just say i'm a bit concerned and scared

[shademidas]

i think the sad thing about my rant is the fact i've been doing so well mentally the past month or two and i've been so proud of myself and now everything fuckin going down at once and i've hit a fucking wall now i can't stop crying i was doing so well for as long as a fucking did just to fuckin fail and go back to square fucking one i hate myself lmao

[shademidas]

i hate the fact that i know i fucking suck and i'm not good at anything no matter how fucking hard i work my ass off and i can't maintain really any relationships bc i get paranoid i'm too much of an annoyance and burden and need to leave whoever i'm talking to alone bc that's probably what they want me to do i can't ask people in person about things or else i start to panic i mess up with whatever i'm trying to say to them and really i can't fuckin do shit properly i fucking suck and i hate myself lmao i'm never gonna be good enough or at least decent enough to get any fucking where in life honestly like what does it even matter at this point

[shademidas]

do you ever reach the point of stress and anger where you're on the verge of ripping someone's head off because you've just fu king had enough because that's my current position

[shademidas]

anyways i have a migraine so i'm going to bed i love you all i hope everyone has a good day/night 💗💗💗