Day 12: A gentleman I had been dating, but wasnt crazy about, asked to take me to the movies. I met him after rehearsal. We were going to see a popular Indie feature out called "Burn After Reading". We met at a Harkins Theater in South Tucson, or as I like to call it, "North Nogales".
We walked into the movie theater, and grabbed seats. The movie wasn't popular in North Nogales as there were only a few of us in the huge theater. We sat one row in front of one man in particular, and his girlfriend.
The guy was talking loudly but we didn't mind because the movie hadn't started yet. We minded a little more when the previews started. I figured he would simmer down when the movie started. Nope. I looked over at my date. He was starting to breathe hard out of his nose and was getting red. I then had a feeling that the movie night wasn't going to be a good one. I suggested that we move but my date didn't want to.
About a third of the way into the movie, Mr. Loudtalker's phone rang. It was a full volume ring. He allowed it to continue ringing so that all 10 people in the theater could hear which stupid pop song he had picked to be his ring tone.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!", my date said to the guy. I told my date to calm down. Normally, I would applaud a gentleman for taking charge, but my date was the wrong color in North Nogales, and his nerdy demeanor just screamed that he could easily get his butt handed to him.
The Loud, douche king ignored my date's request for silence and answered the phone. He began to have a louder than necessary conversation with the person on the other line. I looked back. The girlfriend of the guy was mortified and slumped down in her seat. She tried desperately to get the guy to quiet down but nothing was working.
Pan over to my date who was two seconds away from going ape shit. He was so mad he was sweating. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut the fuck up" my date said to the guy.
"You shut the fuck up", said the loud taint worm. My date then proceeded to ball up one of the napkins in this hand.
"Don't do it", I said. "That dude looks like he's crazy enough to fight".
My date hurled the napkin at the guy behind us. It seemed like the napkin flew at the speed of light. My stomach started to turn in knots. The small wad of destruction hit the guy somewhere on his face, and all hell broke loose.
The Loud idiot stood up and told my date that he would wait til the end of the movie and would then kick my date's ass. My date tried to hold his own but I could tell that he knew he had just gotten in over his head. He tried desperately to save face.
I slumped in my seat and looked around the theater. Some people stared. I looked back at the loud guy's girlfriend who looked at me. With just one look we agreed that both of our dates were losers and this was probably the last time either guy would see either of us.
Now I was thinking about what I was going to do. If I left immediately, it might set the loud guy off somehow. I decided to stay in my seat and wait it out. Maybe this guy was calling my date's bluff. I mean, who waits til the end of a movie to kick a person's ass?
The movie ended and the lights came up. I grabbed all my stuff and tried to make a b-line for the exit. The loud guy's girlfriend was already heading that way. To my surprise, I was stopped by the loud guy who had come around to our row and blocked me from leaving.
"Let's do this" the guy said.
"Fuck you" said my date
"Fuck you and your girlfriend" said the guy, who then tried to charge at me.
I stepped back just far enough so that I just got a little nicked on my forehead by his. And now I was seeing red. Any of my friends know, that I'm as cool as a cucumber until I'm physically provoked. If I see red, everyone dies. It's a Lawrence family trait. The white's of the eyes literally turn red. Literally.
I mushed the dude's face with the palm of my hand and went ham and cheese. My date tried desperately to hold me back and eventually tried to sit on me, as I was trying to get free and wreck that loud asshole. I think I scared everyone. We were then greeted and broken up by the movie theater's managers.
Someone (probably the loud douche's date) informed them of what happened. They informed us that the police had been called and were on their way. They instructed us (my date and I) to leave immediately so that we wouldn't be arrested. They held Mr. Loud Ass there. For the first time all night, he was quiet.
"Stupid Mexicans!", my date said. Ah, the nail in his coffin. I don't care who you are or what you've been through, NEVER pull a racist stunt like that around me.
"Puuuuulease, shut the fuck up!" I told my date.
As we walked out of the theater I noticed a familiar face. Another guy I was just starting to get to know (who I had just gone out on a date with the night before) and his best friend were waiting in the hall (we will call him Plan A). They had seen the same movie and heard the ruckus behind them. I was mortified. We made eye contact before I looked away. How the hell does that happen?? Of all the movies, movie theaters, and show times in the world...I had the worst luck. As we walked to the parking lot the cops pulled up and walked in the building.
I told my date that I didn't have time to talk and that it would be best if he lost my number.
When I got home, Plan A called to see if I was ok, then poked fun at me a little. To this day, it was the worst date of my life.
