#tanach

[hyperpotamianarch]

(described in alt text)

@springstarfangirl, @alyssumlovesthecosmere, @sitvanit, @killthelantern-raisetheghost, @david-goldrock, @prismatic-bell

This includes Kohelet, Mishley, Divrey HaYamim (even if parts of it are boring), Iyov and Bamidbar.

[girlactionfigure]

[misguidedandperplexed]

In honor of pride month, have a post (which I started and then saved in my drafts for ages but decided to finish now because it's more fun than work) about the innuendos and gayness in Mishlei.

~~~

Okay so I'm looking through some of Tanach (mostly David and Shlomo stuff) for a family thing, and like, holy innuendos dudes.

And like okay, maybe it's just the translation, but whoever translated these must either have been horny af or so ace they didn't know what they were saying.

(And these aren't even the outright, intentional nsfw things! (See Shir Hashirim for that.))

I may be am definitely reading this way too creatively, and some of it is taken entirely out of context, but I'm enjoying myself, so.

(nsfw below)

5:11 "And you shall moan when your end comes, when your flesh and your body are consumed." Right okay, that's certainly not about sex.

6:3 "For you have come into your fellow's palm." Some might say that's really hot.

6:21 "Bind them always upon your heart, tie them upon your neck." Sounds kinda bondagey.

6:34 "For jealousy [shall arouse] the husband" Okay I admit this one is a stretch because it's actually "the husband's wrath" but you can't put "shall arouse" in brackets and expect me to overlook it.

7:6-13 (selected text) "For from the window of my house, through my lattice I gazed.. a lad... the nakedness of a harlot... She takes hold of him and kisses him." Yep that's definitely voyeurism. Even if you're watching just to warn your son away from the harlot.

10:32 "The lips of a righteous man know how to please" Hell yeah they do.

11:9 "With his mouth, the flatterer destroys his neighbor" The neighbor isn't a man, are they? Are they??

11:17 "troubles his own flesh" I can see this in a fanfic for sure.

13:19 "A desire fulfilled pleases the soul" Post-sex bliss?

14:14 "The one with an impure heart shall have his feel from his ways, and above him is a good man." Ketuvim Sutra

23:34 "like one lying on the top of a mast" Can we talk about why the world is obsessed with substituting every remotely phallic object instead of just calling a dick a dick?

24:26 "Lips should kiss him" Yes, they should! He deserves to be kissed!

26:22 "penetrate the innermost parts of the body" Okay this is full-on erotica now.

27:6 "Wounds of a lover are faithful" Hickey?

27:9 "and the sweet words of his friend" Right, his friend.

27:14 "He who blesses his friend in a loud voice early every morning" Oh is that what they're calling it these days?

27:16 "the oil of his right hand" Never underestimate the importance of lube.

27:19 "As in water, face answers to face, so is the heart of a man to a man". Tell me that's not gay.

27:20 "and the eyes of man will not be sated" Dude, stop ogling.

28:22 "and he does not know that want will come upon him" Sometimes that lust hits you like a train, doesn't it?

29:15 "A rod and reproof give wisdom" This sounds like a degradation kink.

29:17 "and he will grant pleasures to your soul" I think it's a different body part he's planning to grant pleasures to. (Let's pretend the first part of this isn't talking about fathers and sons.)

31:8 "Open your mouth... and plead the cause of... the needy." Is this what they mean when they say someone's begging for it?

Welp.

[the-catboy-minyan]

nothing makes me more furious than when atheists call Jewish characters from the fucking Tanach "bible characters".

no. Abraham isn't yours. Jacob isn't yours. Noah isn't yours. Moses isn't yours. they're OURS. this is OUR HISTORY and OUR PEOPLE. they don't come from the bible, they were STOLEN FROM JEWS.

I recently saw a poll on tumblr that asked were do you know the name Ishmael from, bible was listed as an option, the Tanach wasn't. Ishmael is clearly a Jewish name, it's a HEBREW name, it's not Christian in any way, why wasn't the source material listed as an option???

the Tanach doesn't belong the Christians, our history and religion needs to stop being appropriated, this is OUR history, not Christian histroy.

[askjumblr]

is it okay to read the Tanakh if i’m not (yet) Jewish?

Technically part of the "can I do ___ while converting" question line (questions that should be posed to one's converting rabbi, not the internet), but since it can also pertain to non-Jews, I figured I'd allow this one.

[ace7librarian]

I am having the urge to create a Tanach inspired sims legacy challenge again

[microvibing]

Someone should write an "epic: the musical" style musical for tanach stories.

[mental-mona]

Far from being timeless and immutable, God in the Hebrew Bible is active, engaged, in constant dialogue with his people, calling, urging, warning, challenging and forgiving.

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt"l, The Great Partnership: God, Science, and the Search for Meaning p.65