Wowie, I made my comfort yumeship UNREQUITED!!!!!!!! Why?!
A long ramble about why I can't convince myself to let Kou be with who they love.
Hello friends who care and curious strangers👋. My favorite OC appears to be in a very obvious and hopeless state of pining. Look at them!
Miserable!!! Why? I, the writer, have the power and free will to allow them to be with who they want to be. In fact, some of you who have known me before I returned to tumblr have SEEN me do just that for YEARS! Why now am I walking it back?
Well... It's complicated, to say the least.
The first and foremost reason is the canon character, whom I will refuse to name because it is obvious to those who know me and unimportant to the stranger that may read this. This character is so exceedingly complex, especially when it comes to romantic love. There is no telling how, or if, it is even possible for this character to suddenly choose to love one person above all of humanity. What about Kou would this character even think is special and worth loving? That sounds cruel, but, it is just the truth. The most they could be is entertainment to the character. As Kou pursues their true goals, compromising their own morals and contradicting themselves, I could see the character finding this amusing, but to the character, Kou would be like the hapless protagonist of a play... and the character would be the director of that play.
Even if Kou were to try to get closer, to want to relieve that loneliness that they know this character feels, that character wouldn't let them in so easily. This character is so calculating that they can probably predict every way a person can hurt him, and thus the character keeps a distance from all of humanity, just to keep themselves from being broken... On top of that, why would he see Kou as anything more than an idiotic human who has a hero complex and merely wants to save him for their own ego (as he might predict). Opening up for someone that's merely a face in a sea of humans that he equally adored sound extremely preposterous, even if Kou's feelings were genuine.
All of this, Kou already understands themselves. They know it would be utterly pointless to pursue him, despite wanting to know him and wanting to care for him so very badly... The best that could happen is that the character might ENJOY these feelings without returning them in any genuine way. Perhaps he might even allow Kou to think they are friends, but nothing would be genuine-- because he wouldn't let Kou in. If anything, he would allow Kou to keep him company if he were that desperate, but that would be the closest...
Going further than that makes me feel... wrong? I don't know how I used to be so gung-ho about it... I used to happily write them together, but I just... can't anymore. It feels wrong, even though I still WANT to write what I used to, I can't seem to go back anymore...