#tavi.txt

[tavimakesart]

i should really redo some of my old glimmadora art cuz ive learned a lot since then but i just do not want to create for the fandom anymore, like was so toxic and unrewarding 😭 the old friend group all hates each other now too it's highkey sad

[phoenixdnasty]

atp I don't think u can interact w jkr's content at all. like... hp is full of extremely harmful shit from top to bottom, from chattel slavery to fucking classism and transphobic shit. id'ing as a ravenclaw is fun on surface level but with how deep the creator has fallen into hating trans ppl for just existing, any support of her IP is support of her, regardless of intentions. streaming the hp movies, wearing merch, it's all bad.

[phoenixdnasty]

everything is starting to feel like a massive case of the bystander effect. im guilty of this too, but we all sort of went about our lives collectively, thinking someone else would do something about the problems. and im talking about bigger problems than one gofundme or a charity asking for money at a gas station penny tray. im talking about headlines that rubbed us the wrong way, things that fundamentally seemed wrong. human rights violations. environmental damage. social rights.

it wasn't our problem. we had other more pressing problems, from the mundane to the life altering. and honestly, there was someone trying to do something about each thing wrong with the world, so all hope wasn't lost. someone would stop it. onto the next thing.

everything feels like our problem now, and I think if you don't currently feel that way, you're not living in the real world. I kinda wish I was where you are.

i don't see any other choice but to do something. and i know our smaller problems didn't just disappear, im working a better job than I ever have and it's still not fucking enough. but we have to do something. because the people who had something they wanted to do did it with no regard for whose lives they ruined to get there, and we're all suffering for it. the people who could've done something, who had the resources, they chose not to. and the more I think about it, I think we're never gonna be able to stop fighting. we'll get closer to something good, great even, but I think that we have to be the ones to do it. and someone is always gonna be there to try to make things shitty. fact of life, I think. we have to try, anyway.

[phoenixdnasty]

i love my best friend and the more I say it, the truer it gets. i love them gently, not in the all consuming way I've loved before, not to the point of infatuation or obsession. they smile and it's something that I've never seen before, a love that I can't articulate. the things that bring them joy, I want to facilitate. my fucking god, when they laugh. when they smile because I laugh. when they're attentive, and notice things I need before I know I need them. when we talk, we talk of our dreams. hopes, fears, trauma. the ways we can change. i could never tell them I want to be there for all of that. I want them there with me. that's too much, too much to say all at once. i can only confess here because writing it anywhere else makes it permanent. maybe it's easier to not be in love with the person who holds my days and nights up for me when they look at me. i know it would be too good to be true, or that I would mess it up somehow. but love doesn't care about any of that. i am in love with my best friend, and it is both a blessing and a curse to be burdened with.

[phoenixdnasty]

I stay on this site solely because of the culture. ppl shit on this hellsite, me included, but where else would bidoof's law and I like your shoelaces have come from, honestly

[phoenixdnasty]

im not gonna watch squid game atm, firstly cuz im not into k dramas, secondly, cuz i dont like to watch things while they're super hyped, and thirdly, everyone is sad over this show and tbh im sad enough irl lmao but im enjoying seeing everyone enjoy themselves. murder game make brain go brr and honestly, me too

[phoenixdnasty]

idk leaving the she ra fandom was excellent for my mental health. i argued w so. many. ppl. and honestly... for what?? s'not like anything changed. i still like glimmadora and the earlier seasons, but the whole experience left such a bad taste in my mouth. its def taught me a lot about fandom spaces and interacting w others. at some point it gets unhealthy. i was such a massive stan of she ra and glimmadora, it actually physically upset me when the show ended and it seemed like no one cared about the catgirl's actions throughout the show. its stupid. that was stupid. my feelings and other ppls feelings were valid, but arguing on the internet about ships is stupid and life is so much more simple when u just keep to a small circle of like minded ppl. i still dont like c/a and think it could've been done a thousand times better, but at this point, its been over a year, ive moved on. i checked the tag one more time for old times' sake and its just ppl either shitting on the ship itself or the stans. same shit, different day, even over a year later.

i feel like toxic shit was said and done on all sides of the ship wars. i know i def said and did some stupid shit. it felt like it mattered back then. and it did, to me and the hundreds of ppl i engaged w.

idk man, having those experiences and seeing just how bad it got and how venomous ppl can be made me kind of not want to dive deep into another fandom space. ive poked my head around the owl house fandom briefly, but only to take some art and a cute headcanon and go.

u know what, while I'm rambling, i think i can tldr this. stan culture is scary and toxic and u need to be careful to draw the line somewhere before it starts bleeding into real life.

im apprehensive about ever stanning anything again. you get all these expectations in your head about the way u want things and the way things are supposed to be, and when u dont get those, its... devastating to say the least. and idk man, stanning anything/anyone... there's bound to be a lot of disappointment. ive seen stans on twt do some fucking WILD things to ppl they disagree w, or perceived enemies.

its toxic. i realized it was toxic, and i left. stan culture. man.

[phoenixdnasty]

ive taken to calling my boyfriend honey, and i did it without thinking. the way he beamed at me the first time i did it,,,,, wild how sunshiny this boy is. i might just be in a sprinkle of love