#taylor - threads.

[aperturcs]

closed starter for @likecavities

he'd been rambling about constellations for close to an hour, flat on his back with one arm pointing up at the sky, "i'm pretty sure that one's a crab -" he cut himself off midway, turning his head to glare at them, "dude, are you even listening to me or am i just being educational for no reason?"

[atomicblues]

continued for @fadedradio

taylor always thought losing control would feel like losing himself. something dramatic. a switch flipping, the person he had been disappearing beneath whatever monster had crawled into his body the night he died. that would've been easier, maybe. easier to wake up surrounded by bodies and tell himself that something else had done it. that the thing with its teeth buried in somebody's throat hadn't really been taylor at all.

except he remembered everything. he remembered the first heartbeat catching his attention. remembered trying not to listen to it, because damien had taught him better than that. because he had gotten better at this. bagge blood tasted like shit and left him feeling like someone had taken everything good about eating and replaced it with drinking lukewarm pennies, but he could survive on it. he had been surviving on it.

but three days turned into four because he'd gotten busy, and four had turned into five because admitting he was hungry meant admitting that he needed something. taylor had spent his entire life being too much of everything already. too loud, too needy, too impulsive. being turned had only given him another appetite to apologize for.

the first person had been an accident. after that, taylor didn't know what counted. he was still sitting there when damien found him, knees drawn up loosely, staring at his own hands. blood had dried darker in the lines of his palms, beneath his fingernails, smeared over the stupid rings he'd forgotten to take off. there was so much of it that eventually it had stopped looking like blood at all.

taylor flinched when damien said his name. not away from him. somehow, even now, never away from him. his gaze lifted slowly, red eyes finding damien's face only after his hands were already against taylor's cheeks. my love. something inside him cracked so quickly that an ache tore through his chest. "don't." the word came out small. embarrassed. taylor's face twisted, because damien shouldn't be looking at him like that. shouldn't be touching him like he wasn't covered in evidence of exactly what he was. "don't call me that right now." he really wanted him to anyway.

his eyes tried to slip past damien when he asked how long it had been, dragged helplessly toward the bodies before damien caught his attention again. don't look at them right now. taylor swallowed hard. there was still blood in his mouth, he could taste it when his tongue moved against his teeth.

"i don't know." a lie. damien would know it was a lie too. taylor was fucking terrible at them even before somebody could probably smell dishonesty on him. "like -" his voice broke. he laughed instead, one sharp, miserable sound. "five days." saying it out loud made it sound worse. five days of deciding he could deal with it later. five days of ignoring the ache in his jaw and the way every heartbeat followed him through a room. five days because some stupid, stubborn part of him had decided needing blood was something he could opt out of.

damien asked if they hurt him, and taylor started at him. for a second, he genuinely couldn't understand the question. then his expression crumpled. "no." taylor's hands finally moved, catching around damien's wrists. his grip tightened until bloody fingers were wrapped securely around him, anchoring himself to the only person in the room who could possibly understand what he'd done without taylor having to explain it.

"no, damien, they didn't fucking hurt me." his voice grows more frantic, hollow laughter building in the back of his throat. "i hurt them." taylor's mouth trembled, and he pressed his lips together hard like he could physically keep everything else from spilling out. he'd cried over feeding before. apologized to people who couldn't hear him. spent nights staring at the ceiling wondering if whatever god he spent his childhood terrified of could still see him now that he was dead.

but this wasn't feeding. "i couldn't stop." his voice dropped into something frightened, eyes wide and frazzled. "i knew i should stop and i just -" he shook his head, crazed laughter falling out of his mouth. "i didn't want to." his fingers tightend around damien's wrists again. "that's fucked up, right? like, that's - you can't tell me that's just hunger. i fucking liked it."

that was the part he didn't think he could survive. giving up the relief that he felt after. the awful, perfect silnce that had settled inside him when warm blood finally hit his tongue and for the first time in days, nothing hurt. nothing ached. nothing begged. he'd felt good. taylor finally looked at damien again, eyes wet and terrified. "what the fuck is wrong with me?"

[aperturcs]

closed starter for @hcllowbodies

"no, no, give it back." taylor makes a grab for the controller, halfway climbing across the couch in the process. "you've been playing for, like, four minutes and you're already ruining everything." he doesn't actually manage to take it, mostly because he's laughing too hard, collapsing back against the cushions with his knee still pressed against noah's thigh.

"you're supposed to talk to people. you can't just pick the meanest option every time." a beat passes while he watches noah make another selection. "oh my god. you're such a fucking nightmare." taylor reaches for the controller again. "give me that before you make everyone hate us."

[aperturcs]

closed starter for @stayingstills.

it wasn't any different. a new city and a new team, but the same habits had followed taylor from one to the other, and aiden always happened to be caught in the middle of it. he couldn't count the number of times that he had shown up drunk and bruised at aiden's door, begging him to let him stay the night, or how many times his heart had been broken and he had cried about it to him and swore that he would never do it again, that he was done.

but he knew when it happened again that aiden would welcome him with open arms. so he showed up again, and again, and again tonight. he didn't bother knocking; he would if the door was locked, but with whatever luck he still had, the door was open and taylor let himself right inside. "aiden?" his calls to chase had gone straight to voicemail and his imagination was already creating images in his head of finding aiden with his girlfriend instead of with the space for him before he could even make it to the empty living room.

a sigh of relief escaped his lips as he dropped himself onto the couch with his head in aiden's lap and his legs kicked over the arm of the couch. "hey, bud." his head turned to the tv, barely registering what was playing on the screen. "order us some food. i'm starving. pretty sure i'm gonna perish away in like 45 minutes, so make it a speedy delivery."

[aperturcs]

closed starter for @orphicdays

taylor was good at flirting. too good, probably. good enough that people usually took it for permission, but sometimes flirting was just flirting. sometimes it was just a game. sometimes it was attention for the sake of attention, a little spark thrown across a crowded bar because taylor like being looked at and noticed and like being wanted. it was easy to pretend those were the same as being known.

the man in front of him was cute enough and at first, taylor was bored enough to let it happen. he leaned against the counter with one elbow propped beside his drink, smiling wide, eyes bright, letting the conversation tilt just suggestive enough to be fun. he laughed when the guy said something stupid and tipped his head when he was complimented, gave back just enough to keep the attention warm. it didn't change quickly enough for taylor to notice in time to slip away and even though he was uncomfortable, he laughed, nervous and sharp to his ears.

when taylor took a step back, the man followed, crowding back into taylor's space. actually, he didn't notice until the man was leaning into his space to speak over the loud bass of the music vibrating around them to tell him to not act shy now, and taylor's stomach turned, not in the fun way that he liked. "not interested." the guy took a step closer, and yeah, taylor was a professional hockey player, but when he pushed against the man's chest, he didn't budge. "i said not interested."

[atomicblues]

closed for @atomflower

the hand closing around him steals the last of taylor's breath.

it wasn't just touch. it was claim. damien's fingers drag a broken, high sound from taylor's throat that he can't swallow. his head drops back, resting on damien's shoulder, the cold of the older vampire's skin a sharp contrast against the fever that has begun to burn under his own. every stroke feels like being rewritten, every careful drag feels like a brand.

taylor's free hand finds damien's hip and holds on like he might otherwise fall. he grinds back into the hard length pressed against him, slow and desperate, the layers of fabric between them steadily growing more and more intolerable. he wants them gone. he wants the ancient, possessive thing that has been watching him all night to stop holding itself in check and take what it has already decided belongs to it.

another stroke, firmer, and a wrecked little moan slips out of him. taylor turns his face into the cool column of damien's throat, fangs brushing against cool skin, aching as badly as they did before he knew he needed to feed.

you're ever going to want anyone else.

damien says it like a promise, like there isn't any room in the universe for taylor to be discarded once damien has decided to keep him and every tender part of taylor folds beneath the weight of it. the words sink deeper then the venom, deeper than the hand still working him with devastating care. his hips stutter, pressing back harder. how could he begin to explain to damien that there could never be anyone else?

[aperturcs]

closed for @neglectsintuition

taylor had gotten significantly worse at understanding boundaries since dying, which way saying something, considering he'd never been particularly good at them alive. damien had said he could come by. maybe not specifically tonight, but taylor had left his hoodie here a few nights ago and decided approximately twenty minutes ago that he needed it immediately. he'd already let himself in and made it halfway across the room when he heard someone behind him. "before you get mad, i was literally just getting my -" he turns with an easy grin already prepared for damien, only for the words to die when he finds a stranger instead. "oh. hi."

his gaze flicks over her with absolutely no attempt at hiding his curiosity. pretty, blonde, and apparently comfortable enough in damien's space that taylor immediately forgets about the hoodie altogether. "i'm taylor." a beat, brows pulling together as the obvious question finally catches up with him that he doesn't ask. his head tips, suspicion doing very little to dull the friendliness written all over his face. "sorry. thought you were someone else."

[aperturcs]

taylor had made it four days without seeing aiden. which was impressive, honestly. four whole days of ignoring texts, dodging calls, and refusing to open the door when he knew exactly who was on the other side of it. four days of pretending he was busy, asleep, showering, making chase run him off, dead. that last one was probably needlessly cruel, but by the end of the fourth day, death was the only thing taylor could make chase tell him that he thought would keep aiden away. it didn't, but taylor had never been great in a crisis.

in his defense, becoming a vampire was probably something people should give you a little grace about. everything was too much now. lights, sounds, every pulse he could hear pass the front door, warm and alive and so unbearably loud that it made his teeth ache. the hunter was awful, but even worse was how wrong he felt. he was no stranger to feeling like he was in the wrong skin, wanting to scratch it from his bones - only now he wasn't sure that would actually kill him. he couldn't let aiden see him like this despite the part of him that wanted aiden close so badly it made him want to throw himself out a window.

he was sitting on the bathroom floor, hoodie pulled over his knees and the hood tugged over his head, an attempt to block out the noise from outside that he still hadn't gotten used to. chase told him it would get better though. "go away." every light was off except for the weak strip under the door that made his eyes sting. "seriously, aiden." softer this time. "i'm gonna fucking bite you if you don't leave." it wasn't a threat he hadn't made before, but this time the teeth behind the words were actually dangerous. "how did you even get in? did you break in?" he was half considering calling the cops, but well, aiden he was stopping himself because he didn't know what he would have done to himself if he hurt him. the cops? he didn't have the same care about them.

@stayingstills