ROUND 1 - SPAMTON G. SPAMTON vs GARFIELD THE DEALS WARLOCK
Does Spamton convince Garfield to buy [HYPERLINK BLOCKED], Questionable Postions, Old Busted Up Merchandise, [Sweet Sweet][[freedom sauce]]!!, various kinds of garbage, KeyGen, and/or poisons in exchange for Kromer, MONEY, a possibility at freedom, YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]], and/or THAT. [LIGHT.]
OR does Garfield the Deals convince Spamton to buy Magic Items, Powerful Swords, Portable Spas, and Fish in exchange for money and/or his blood?
WHO IS THE BETTER SALESPERSON?DECIDE NOW!!
SPAMTON G. SPAMTON (Deltarune)
GARFIELD THE DEALS WARLOCK (The Adventure Zone: Balance)
Propaganda
GARFIELD:
“'FANTASY COSTCO: WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!' Garfield is an enigmatic warlock who deals in bits and bobbles in exchange for gold (or blood on occasion). What’s the blood for? Well, definitely not anything nefarious. It’s also just Griffin McElroy’s excuse to go completely silly."
SPAMTON:
"Vote for Spamton if you are a true [BIG SHOT]"
"His existence is purely for the purpose of selling you things. He is the living embodiment of spam mail."
"Divorced"
"HEY EVERY !! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]!! I'M [READY TO RUUUUUMMMBBLEEDEE!!!!] AND BEAT THAT [MYSTERY HACK] INTO A PILE OF [HYPERLINK BLOCKED]"
"he's literally spam mail. also he divorced a jester and he's insane. plus i love the way he speaks : "WHY BE THE [[Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE WHEN YOU CAN BE A [[BIG SHOT!!!]]"
'THANKS TO YOUR [Total Jackass stunts] I HAVE [Becomed] NEO.'
'HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAH!!'"
"i can't decide if he deserves to win the tournament or if he deserves to lose round 1. such is his appeal"
"NUMBER ONE RATED SALESMAN [Certified 1997.] WON [FREEDOM!] IN [Spamton Sweeptsakes. BUY MORE.] AND [You can kiss my ass!]"
"Spamton was once a [RUNNING MILL] spam ad who one day got a call that gave them a [ONE IN A KNIFETIME CHANCE] to find success and be a [BIG SH0T]. But one day, that [CUT] and left him back at [THE GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN] with no [FRIENDSHIP], no [heart-shaped object], and little in the way of [hope]. But when a [LIGHT]ner showed up in the Cyber World…that would change [E V E R Y T H I N G]. Being spamware, he frequently speaks in [BULLWINKLE] and randomly [SHIFT GEARS] into different metaphors and nonsense. It occasionally [BREAKING UP] when talking about the people he used to know…or when people are desperately clinging to the other line asking for help. 'NO, I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING JUST NOW!!! … BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU.'"
"He’s so fucking skrunkly I need to throw him at a wall, also kickass boss track: https://youtu.be/-8p8VowCmgE?si=zI4rffWXzkPLUA3a"














