Notable Events: Killed Emilio at the Cornucopia before running into District Two. I lost both of my allies and my only friend today. I vowed to take revenge, no more playing nice. I made my way to the Cornucopia with my sponsor gifts, eating soup and treating my wounds before snuggling down for the night out of the cold.
My head was throbbing as I slowly came back to consciousness; I struggled to a sitting position my shoulder protesting as I glanced around the snow covered ground. It had felt like a dream or a nightmare really. One minute we had been fleeing from the Cornucopia and the next Liucija and Xerxes had attacked. I had thought that maybe we would ally but the arena wasn’t big enough for two victor’s kids. That was when I remembered. Leif.
I turned towards his body, hoping that maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was just unconscious like I had been. I scrambled to my feet, stepping towards his body just as the beeping of a parachute sounded. I plucked the gift from the air, gripping the strings in my free hand I plucked the trident from the top. It was a gift I’d put to good use but right now I had other things to do. I moved towards my partner. My weapon and newly acquired pack placed on the snow as I dropped to my knees in the snow beside him, my fingers on his back as I hoped that he would drag in a breath. But nothing came.
My fingers shook as I rolled Leif onto his back, there was an ugly black bruise across his jaw but it was the finger marks that stood out in stark contrast against his neck that made me pause. I touched his lips, tinged with blue and no longer curled up in that cocky grin that I had grown to love. I could feel the first pinpricks of tears begin, the hot trail of moisture slipping down my cheeks as I mourned for what could have been. We were supposed to be in this together, down to the very end but now I was all alone.
I cradled his head in both of my hands, the taste of salt covering my lips. I didn’t want to say goodbye but I had no other choice. I dropped my forehead against his, holding onto the image of Leif laughing whole and alive in the suite. I didn’t want to remember him this way. I wanted to remember the boy who had put himself into danger to save me, or the image of him dancing around in his room under the influence of pink champagne. “I’ll make them pay, Leif. Each and every one of them.” Luicija, Quinn, Titus. I’d rip them to pieces with my bare hands in order to exact retribution for his death. He was supposed to be here, telling me it was okay but I had a few precious moments to say goodbye before my only friend was ripped from the arena. “By the time I’m finished they will wish they had never set foot in this arena, I promise.” It was a vow. To do all of the things he should have been here to do.
“I loved you, Somerley. I’ll win for you, for Erik and Astrid.” I finally whispered, pressing my lips to his in one final kiss. I’d never be able to thank him for what he had done for me or for what he had meant to me but I could exact my own form of bloody revenge in his name. I finally lowered his body back to the snow, my hand skimming down to press over his heart. “You’re free Leif.”
It was all I could say as I dropped my head down onto his chest for a moment. Collecting myself as tears stained his shirt. I could blame him for not fighting harder, for leaving but really I just blamed myself for outliving him. Finally with a shaky breath I pulled myself away from his body, standing to collect my sponsor’s pack and trident, turning to glance over the two bodies that still littered the snow.
I wanted to desecrate Xerxes body. But what more could I do to him. He had already suffered the ultimate slight, to be murdered by a girl from District Ten. “I guess she got the best of you didn’t she, serves you right for being a gentleman.”
Shea’s body was close by. Her arm outstretched towards Leif and her throat barely recognisable. I hadn’t liked her in life; jealous of what she had meant to Leif but as I crouched down beside her I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You look after him, you hear? I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.” It was the only thing I could ask of her. Wherever Leif was, she was there with him. Maybe that was how things were supposed to be. As I stood, I trudged through the snow back towards the Cornucopia. My shoulder throbbed but I needed to get out of the open.
I found the golden horn empty, the signs of tributes being there long gone. I slipped inside, folding my legs beneath me with my trident placed in easy reach. I opened the pack, finding the sleeping bag first I unrolled it to throw it across my shoulders. Between my own personal cave and the feather down inside I could already feel warmth spreading through my body again. I dug further down into the pack, pulling out the net as I noticed the familiar knots. This was Castor’s net. My net. This pack was a god send and I knew that I’d make my sponsor proud. There was no more pretty little tribute dresses, no holding back. I’d crush every single one of them. Laying the net out alongside the trident I found the medicated spray next, stripping out of my jacket to get at the wound I sprayed the cold liquid against my shoulder. It stung but slowly the pain faded. I tucked the rest of the spray back in the pack, finding the last gift tucked in a corner. The warmth of it already spread to my fingers. I set it on the floor, dragging my jacket back on and looping my sleeping bag over my shoulders as I finally lifted the lid on the canister. Vegetable soup. The steam swept across my features as I brought it to my lips, sipping as the warm liquid seeped into my bones. It wasn’t much but considering how bad my day had been I was thankful for small mercies. As I ate the sky started to darken, night was falling and the blistering wind of the arena hit the side of the Cornucopia.
With my soup finished, I moved to snuggle down into the sleeping bag. My fingers finding my trident in the dark as the sound of the anthem played. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to block out the knowledge that everyone would see the injustice that had befallen Leif all over again. His family would see it, Castor would see it. But as sleep finally started to come for me I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t have my face up in the sky. I was going to win, for Leif.
