Vampire lord: you are forever now a member of our colony. We shall support you, provide for you-as long as you contribute back. We shall teach you our ways and you will be able to see the world age in place of yourself. Truely, I have given you a wonderful gift-will you PLEASE stop CRYING
New vampire: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT-SOB- TAN ANY MORE?!?!?
Vampire lord:......It’s BAD FOR YOU FOR STARTERS AND YOU’RE VERY FLAMMABLE TO STRONG LIGHT FROM THIS POINT ON? You humans are so odd, trying to darken your skin like that with such high powered lights, you’re just ruining your skin-STOP CRYING, YOUR MAKE UP IS RUBBING OFF ON MY ROBES.