That’s funny. Eric unfollowed Chanhee. Wow. They’re continuing as 9 member group. Funny. Wrap it up broski. The jokes done. Bring Chanhee and Haknyeon back now. Okay. Like now. Wow. I am losing it.
‘guilt offerings’ | idols!younghoon, new, q, sunwoo
summary: oh yk just 4 guys falsely accusing a new neighbor of being a stalker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and one ended up smitten)
genre: fluff, crack (i tried anw) | word count: 1.3k | cw: idk maybe mentions of horror movies but that’s it!
a/n: not proofread; accepting requests atm ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡
—
If someone had told you three months ago that moving into a new apartment would lead to being falsely accused of being a stalker by four incredibly handsome men, you probably would’ve just laughed in confusion.
But now? Now you were living it.
You had just settled into your new apartment after the unfortunate but not entirely surprising demise of your office job. Something about “restructuring” and “streamlining talent”, but really, you were just too cool and unhinged for corporate life, and it finally caught up with you.
You were okay though. Working remotely now, enjoying the peace and quiet of your little home… until it was shattered one Tuesday night during a trash run.
You burned popcorn so badly your kitchen smelled like regret, and thus decided it was a sign to throw the whole thing away.
As you stepped into the hallway with a trash bag full of popcorn carnage, you saw them—four highly suspicious guys loitering right outside your door, whispering with clear intent.
“She’s coming,” one hissed.
“Act natural,” another muttered.
“Are you sure it’s her?” came a third voice, tinged with anxiety.
“I saw her peeking through the peephole yesterday,” the fourth hissed like he was reporting on enemy movement.
You froze. They froze. You clutched your trash bag like it was a weapon.
“Hi?” you said.
All four turned to look at you.
“You’ve been watching us,” the one with sharp features and sharp eyebrows accused. You’d later learn this was Sunwoo, and this was his natural setting: dramatic.
“You’re a sasaeng, aren’t you?” another said. He had delicate features and a deceptively sweet voice. This was Q, holding a bag of frozen tteokbokki and what appeared to be… a rubber chicken?
“I LIVE HERE???” you scoffed as you pointed at your door.
Then there was silence.
All four stared at your door. Then at you. Then back at the door. You could almost hear the Windows error noise echoing in their heads.
“Oh,” the tall one said. He looked the most regretful.
“Well… shit… sorry.”
Sunwoo scratched the back of his neck.
“Okay, uh, this is awkward. Sorry..?”
You squinted at them. “Who even are you guys?”
“We’re… uh…” New started, already bracing for the reaction, “idols. We’re in a K-pop group. The Boyz.”
You blinked again. “The Boys?”
“No. The Boyz. With a Z.”
“…Is that supposed to make it cooler?”
Sunwoo looked mildly offended. “Yes???”
“Uhm, we often get unwanted visitors here, and we jumped right away to conclusions that you were one of them... we’re really sorry for the misunderstanding,” explained the tall guy, whom you would later find out was Younghoon.
They mumbled another round of apologies and quickly disappeared into their apartment next door. You stood there, confused and still holding your trash bag, wondering what the hell just happened. You decided to just head back inside for the night and told your pet turtle (whom you named ‘Potato’ that day) about what happened.
You decided to do a bit of Googling and casually typed, “the boyz group kpop” on the search bar.
Big mistake.
Turns out, your neighbors, who just falsely accused you of being a stalker a few minutes ago, were actual celebrities.
You considered moving again.
The next morning, you opened your door to find a small gift bag with a note:
“We’re sorry for accusing you of being a psycho. We were the psychos. Please accept this jar of honey citron tea as our apology.”
The day after that?
“Sorry again. Here’s a plush shark. No context.”
And then,
“Would you like to join our horror movie marathon? If not, here’s a candle that smells like betrayal in a pine forest.”
By day seven, you had 1 jar of honey citron tea, 3 candles, 3 plush animals, and a handwritten apology signed ‘SUNWOO (leader of the mistaken idiot alliance)’.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t laugh every single time. These guys were weird, but the good kind.
One evening, after a grocery run consisting almost entirely of chips, instant noodles, and juice boxes (because ‘self-care’), you found yourself in the elevator with the same four guys. They looked exhausted—hoodies up, masks pulled down, slumped shoulders. They had clearly just finished work.
“Hey,” the one you now knew as Sunwoo said first, smiling sheepishly.
“You survived a week of our guilt offerings.”
“I actually look forward to them now,” you replied.
“Is today’s offering a cursed DVD copy of The Ring?”
“You like horror movies?!” Q, as he’d introduced himself as Changmin in one of the apology cards, lit up like Christmas. You nodded proudly.
“I own the Saw DVD set.”
Q turned to the others with twinkling eyes.
“She’s one of us.”
“I was just gonna binge Gonjiam and eat spicy chips,” you said casually.
“Wanna join?”
They didn’t hesitate.
You barely had time to dump your groceries before four chaotic men made themselves at home. Q took over the lighting situation. Younghoon offered to help slice the snacks like a wine mom. Sunwoo immediately found your turtle’s tank.
“You named him Potato?”
“Yes.”
“That’s criminal. He looks like a Bob.”
“He is not a Bob.”
“Please, let me have this. What if he’s a DJ? DJ Turbo?”
“I’m going to block you in real life.”
“Bob it is,” he beamed.
Then the movie started. The room darkened, the sound of ominous violins filled the air, and within two minutes… New and Sunwoo were regretting everything.
New sat with his hoodie strings pulled so tight only his eyes were visible.
“Why are the lights flickering already? We just started.”
Sunwoo had a pillow pressed to his face like it was his emotional support boyfriend.
“I’m fine,” he whispered, jumping a full six inches when the first ghost appeared.
“You okay there?” you asked, passing him a chip.
“I’m totally fine,” he said, reaching blindly for the bowl.
“I love horror. So fun. Haha.”
Q, on the other hand, was thriving. Screaming at every jump scare, laughing immediately after. Q's scream definitely caught you off guard the first time, though.
Younghoon watched with quiet curiosity, sipping water like this was a drama and occasionally flinching at jumpscares.
At one point, during a particularly terrifying scene, New physically yeeted himself behind Younghoon.
“Bro, what was that? Why did it move like that?”
“It’s a demon,” you replied.
“Unsubscribing from life,” Sunwoo muttered.
But they didn’t leave, not even once. They screamed, clung to each other, and sat through every terrifying minute like brave little warriors.
You respected it.
By the end of the movie, the room was a mess of snack wrappers, abandoned pillows, and one plush shark (whom Sunwoo named ‘Larry’) being held like a coping mechanism by Sunwoo.
“That was amazing,” Q said, stretching.
“Let’s do this again.”
“I need therapy,” New added softly.
“I need a new nervous system,” Sunwoo said, curled up next to Larry the shark plush.
“You guys did great,” you said, offering them chocolate as a peace offering. They smiled.
After they helped you clean up the snackpocalypse, the boys headed to the door—except Sunwoo lingered behind.
“Hey,” he said, shifting his weight awkwardly.
“Would you want to hang out again? Just us?”
You blinked a few times, trying to process the last two words.
“A date???”
“If you want it to be,” he said quickly.
“I just think you’re really cool. And funny… and you let me rename your turtle. That’s soulmate material, right?”
You bit back a smile. “Only if Bob gets a tiny hat”.
His eyes lit up.
“Done.”
Later that week, you passed by Sunwoo in the hallway and he bowed dramatically.
“My soulmate. Horror queen. Mother of Bob.”
You laughed so hard, you almost dropped your package.
Somehow, in the middle of a job loss, a move, and a bizarre accusation, you’d gained four chaotic neighbors, a new best friend named Larry, and maybe—just maybe—a boy who looked at you like you were the plot twist he had been waiting for.
genre. fluff.
warnings. chanhee is very drunk. they're engaged. kissing. not proofread.
pairing. fiancé!chanhee x fem!reader.
wc. 796.
request. for @heavenfilm who started this all 😞
a/n. inspired on this boylog where chanhee got very drunk and was just so cute :( ofc i had to feed into the delusions.
“You’re so red, baby. How much did you drink?” You met eyes with your fiancé who stood in the doorway, clad in his pyjamas. His face was flushed bright pink and his eyes drooped down, threatening to close at any time. You had heard the drunken chatter of the boys in the kitchen, taking shots of soju and eating shrimp together. Chanhee had gotten the most drunk by far. You could easily tell by his voice leading the conversation, mostly consisting of nonsensical sentences leaving his mouth while Changmin, Eric and Juyeon tried to follow along. He was a handful when drunk.
“Just a tiny bit.” Chanhee giggled, stumbling forward until he reached the bed. He landed messily, his head falling right in your lap. He didn’t bother trying to sit up, deciding that how he landed was entirely on purpose and your lap was far too comfortable to leave in any case.
“Looks like it was a lot more than a tiny bit.” You pointed out.
“Fine. But I’m not drunk!” He insisted, raising his head to meet your eyes as if it would prove his point.
“Sure you’re not.” You teased, brushing some of his black hair to the side, revealing his pink forehead.
“You don’t believe me.” He frowned. He could still read you so easily even when drunk. He wasn’t going to be fooled by you playing along to his declaration.
“You need sleep, Chanhee, love.” You knew he wouldn’t listen to you immediately. But from how inebriated he was, you were sure he was going to crash soon.
Just as expected, he shook his head immediately, “I’m not tired.” You scoffed at his slurred words. He had been doing MV shoots for the last 3 days and was out shopping all day in Jeju. He texted you how exhausted he was hours ago. Anyone would be able to see the blatant lie.
Chanhee really did need sleep, even if he said he didn’t. If he was going to ignore your first suggestion, you would have to switch to other means. Bribery usually worked with him, drunk or sober.
“If I give you a kiss will you go to sleep?” You asked, smiling when his eyebrows furrowed at your question. He lifted his head from your lap, glancing up at you to make sure you were serious about your suggestion before sitting up fully.
“A real kiss? You won’t trick me with just a peck, right?” He pouted, and you laughed. How could he look so cute? Face all flushed, a sulky expression adorning it, and messy hair completing the look.
“I won’t.”
“Promise? Pinky promise?!” He was trying to sound as serious as possible, but given the way his words slurred together, he just sounded like he was running on 1 working brain cell. Which was probably the case.
“Pinky promise.” You held out your pinky to him, letting him link it with his and stamp your thumbs.
“If you break your promise, I’m getting a divorce.” He warned you, “Cheating your husband out of kisses is the worst offence.” He whispered the last part as he neared your lips.
You wanted to remind him that you weren’t actually married yet, and so it was impossible for him to divorce you if you broke the promise, but his lips stopped you from getting any other words out. The taste of soju lingered on his lips, but you were going to keep your word. You let him kiss you as long as he wanted to, soon getting used to the scent and taste of alcohol that was left from his lips. When he finally broke off the kiss, he seemed extremely satisfied that you had kept your promise.
“I knew my wife wouldn’t be cheap. Now we can stay married forever!” He said excitedly. You nodded along to his words with an endeared smile on your face. It warmed your heart to hear him address you as his wife, even if you hadn’t made it official quite yet.
“You’re gonna keep up your end of the deal too, right?” You reminded Chanhee, giggling when his smile slowly turned into a pout again.
“Fine, only because I love you.” He settled down without any further protest, though he did insist that it was his turn to be the little spoon. You expected he would fall asleep quickly, but you underestimated just how quickly. He was out almost as soon as he closed his eyes.
You hugged him tightly and listened to his steady breathing. It relaxed you to a state of drowsiness as well. You were left to think about his drunken words again in your head, butterflies tingling in your stomach when you remembered how the word “wife” sounded from his mouth.
↳ the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,
