#tcgt

[ivybelladonarose]

Guigui~

San Lang holding Xie Lian in chibi form. 🥰🤭

[flamesshadow]

Underrated books: THE CHEMICAL GARDEN trilogy by Lauren Destefano

Fate, I think, is a thief.

[theclevergirl-blog]

my expectations of guys has been so lowered by past shitty experiences that i'm constantly surprised when this guy says nice things to me and isn't sarcastic and just generally doesn't make me feel like a loser. 

also he thinks i'm cute and stuff. c:

[theclevergirl-blog]

always awesome when you can be direct with someone and especially when you realize that the two of you have the same intentions and feelings about each other. the whole, "I'm glad we had this talk" is also awesome. so glad to be over maneuvering through these dumb mixed signals of "will he, won't he?". 

[theclevergirl-blog]

maybe i just have poor luck with dudes, because my patience is wearing very thin for this one. i'm really not digging these stale conversations. 

as for N, not sure how to proceed. not sure if still want, i think the knowledge that he thinks of me is enough to satisfy. 

[theclevergirl-blog]

sorry if i've pushed you away. i'm not good at maintaining friendships. i only have one good friend right now. it makes me kinda sad but that's the reality of things. 

[theclevergirl-blog]

Having pro life parents is very scary at times, and the thought of their reaction if I am ever pregnant from rape is frightening.

[theclevergirl-blog]

i've been very stressed and anxious lately. in the past few weeks, i've had horrible stress dreams and would wake up miserable and feeling like i couldn't function. i don't ever try to compare myself to victims of sexual violence or abuse, but i think the stuff i'd been dealing with at work has taken a toll on me. at work, i regularly get customers who call me "baby" or "honey". i usually shrugged it off, but it's really bothering me lately. the worst case of harassment came just a few weeks ago when a pair of older gentlemen on drive thru kept throwing compliments at me, which seemed harmless at first but escalated to them telling me they wish they could grab me and take me with them, one of them even offered a 50 dollar tip if i went with them, and i was too startled to tell them to fuck off, which frustrates me to this day. when i got home, i felt so violated and vulnerable that i didn't even want to change out of my uniform or take a shower because i didn't even want to be naked. 

i'm upset by creeps, i'm upset my recent dilemma about Austin, and about how I don't feel that great, or that I'm becoming boring.