I... I had something awful happen to me last night. Still shaken. Writing this post now would be rather weird, but we breathin'.
This is about my thoughts of being a teacher as of English practice this February. TW for a brief hospitalization mention at the end.
During my practice I had sometimes encountered a thought that I feel unfit to be a teacher. Maybe it's just the mentality of our people, but I have no idea right now.
On one hand, I would understand things better when directly told what to do. On the other, the kids need to be taught abstract thinking skills (the implications!). Not everybody is fit to understand that. Not me, def. A lead-in would probably be better than an obscure reference. I try to use different methods to do this, though, we just started a class on this. In English!🥰
I also know that I have to hide my real identity. I can't be myself. I can't just share the 13 goals of the Witch (onto studying that and Tarot). But I can probably try to implement that in how I deliver things? I do that with Ninja Lifehacks anyway)) And ofc no "happy Summer Solstice". Probably. The higher-ups would hate that. Maybe the sabbats and esbats would help me choose the methods, too? Good thing I kept that calendar here))
More related to my practice I had been feeling those bouts of fear when I came up to the class. Even when prepped. What if I do it wrong? What if I overkill? I am at a huge disadvantage, not coming from the PedEd track... what if I just don't fit? Captain was here the whole time, highlighting that I worked hard for this, put my soul into those plans and I can definitely ace it)) And I did)) Here's my most successful one so far:
On the contrary, my advisor highlit my smiling ("I totally understand how that feels, you were just enjoying the spotlight)) Super happy during the lesson...") I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic during that bit, but ok, not everyone has the same level as me, occasional Russian intervention is fine), I'll work on that)) There has to be something that makes both sides happy.
Lastly... I felt weird about the style. I don't want to be a snake. I don't want to hurt people. Yet my Mom outright said: "Don't smile at them, show them who's boss!" I... don't want to be like... him. I want to be ME!
In the end I managed to ace things, and most kids at school loved me. I still feel there may have been a trick to that, but it still felt like a flexible, mostly enjoyable experience. Here are some more plans to fill out the photo cap.
P.S. I had to sub for my advisor, for she got hospitalized unexpectedly. Said she would be unable to attend and for a moment I thought I did something wrong and was about to be switched; I hadn't, thank Goddess. It still was scary. I know how it is to be hospitalized like that (shunt surgery at 19), so it makes me super relieved to see her alive and teaching us a Methodology course now. Mother be with her.
P.P.S. There were some ducks in a sauna near the school in case some one didn't see my coot post (лысуха!) Some more pics to round this out.
