ya'll i just cried a bit fucking more about technoblade. I thought i was "over it" (like i stopped denying it and shit), but MAN. I was just thinking about how much this man impacted me and my view about things and myself. it hurts more when it's a youtuber who's job is to basically interact with us basically lol, but honestly? there was no way that that man didn't love us, his last statement to us all just says it for me. I will never stop thinking about him really, grief comes in waves, and i know that well from previous loses. but it kinda felt good to cry about it, for a bit i was trying to suppress it out of sheer stubbornness (technoblade wouldn't want us to see us cry, he'd call us cringe) but it just come flowing back a bit and i feel a bit less weighty now.
ig the tldr version of this ramble is: go on and cry, scream into a pillow if you want, but it's okay to FEEL about him. crying is the healthiest way to deal with those feelings :)