Your Weekly Head Canon
Kuroko wasn’t really born into the mediator role (nor did he have enough friends to teach him that particular skill early on).
No, his expertise came in the form of Aomine and Hinata.
“I’m telling you, he was my friend first!”
“How? You barely spoke five words to each other!”
An incredulous sniff from Hinata that sounded reminiscent of Midorima. Hinata was taking well to his new senpai, it would seem.
“Like I need words to find someone worthy of spending time with. Only you would have to chat someone’s ear off for hours to see if they could handle your stupidity.”
“Why you—!”
“Aomine-kun, Hinata-kun, please don’t fight.”
“Ha! See, five words and I’m still on the same level as you, Aomine-kun.”
“Please don’t provoke him, Hinata-san.”
“Oh, looks like someone just got demoted, Hinata-san,” Aomine jeered, throwing an arm over Kuroko’s shoulder. He twitched at the unexpected contact, and Hinata pulled him away just as quickly.
“Oh an you’re so much better-- you can’t even tell when he’s uncomfortable! I bet you couldn’t even see him the first time you went into the 4th gym.”
“Oh and you’re saying you could?”
“Guys,” Kuroko protested, twisting out of both their grips as tension started to fly. “Weren’t we here for something?”
Both boys blinked at him in surprise before brightening at seeing they had reached their destination.
“Maji burger! C’mon, Kuroko, you have to try it.” Hinata said, pushing him into the fast food place from behind.
“I still can’t believe you’ve never had it before,” Aomine drawled, walking in behind them with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Kuroko sighed as he walked up to the register, hoping they wouldn’t make too much of a scene when the cashier inevitably failed to pick up his presence.
Thankfully Hinata spared him the opening act as he rattled off his order, then picked a fight with Aomine as the two duked it out over who could eat more. Kuroko coughed again before it could escalate further, and both turned to him with matching grins.
“Right! Tetsu, waddya want?” Aomine said, backing off from Hinata, who was still glaring daggers.
Nothing, now, Kuroko wanted to say, having fully been turned off from the idea of burgers from the sheer amount the two had ordered. But they wouldn’t let him off the hook without ordering something, so . . .
“That,” he decided, pointing to the least greasy food item he could find. Both the cashier and the boys followed his finger, and Aomine turned to gawk at him.
“A milkshake? Really?”
“What’s wrong with it?” Hinata demanded, getting right back up in his face.
“It’s not even a burger!”
“So?! We didn’t bring him here to get a burger, just to try what he liked!”
“Chocolate or Vanilla?” The cashier said, just a bit desperately.
Kuroko frowned a bit, but, considering how much chocolate he already ate, plus the fact that his family chefs had probably made dessert for when he got back . . .
“Vanilla,” He decided, and then went up to pay to avoid the commentary sure to erupt, if Aomine’s opening mouth was any indication. A grunt from behind him made him positive he owed Hinata something nice for elbowing Aomine into silence.
The cashier nodded gratefully and had the order ready in almost a flash--a testament to how routinely Aomine and Hinata came here, if they were prepped for that many burgers at this time of night.
“So why have you never been to Maji Burger before?” Aomine asked, as they settled down in a booth.
Kuroko shrugged, fiddling with the wrapper of the straw he’d been given. “Never had a need to. My-- my cook makes sure I have enough food for the day, and dinner prepped for whenever I get back. Going home to eat is faster than ‘fast’ food is.”
Aomine’s eyes widened, and he started hacking on his burger at the word “cook”. Hinata, however, just brightened and threw himself across the table to ruffle Kuroko’s hair.
“Well, we’ll just have to make sure you get lots and lots! Maji Burger is the usual hangout, after all.”
“Since when?!” Aomine demanded, as soon as he finished coughing.
“Since now! All traditions have to start somewhere!”
“What makes you think I want to make traditions with you?!” Aomine retorted.
Kuroko jabbed the straw into his shake and took a deep sip to occupy him (give him an excuse so he didn’t have to intervene, more like), and promptly froze.
“... Kuroko?” Hinata asked trepidatiously, frozen mid-cheek-stretch with Aomine trying to pry the oranget off of him.
Kuroko turned his head, trying to hide the sudden sparkle in his eyes. “It’s good,” He said finally.
A pause. Then,
“Wahoo! Yo, Ao-teme, we need to come here every day! Or maybe every week, cuz we have practice late most days and I really need to study for my Math exams-- ooh, or maybe you guys can help me with them?”
“What makes you think I’m any better at Math than you are?!”
“I think it’s a great idea,” Kuroko interjected softly. Both boys looked at him, but for once he didn’t shrink in discomfort. Shake cradled between both hands, he stared at the two, waiting for their response.
Aomine reacted first, chuckling and shaking his head. “I ain’t paying every day.”
“We’ll take turns,” Kuroko suggested, and the other two were quick to agree.
Well. He might not’ve been a natural peacemaker, but the peace he found that day just made the success all the sweeter.