i was gonna just send this one on anon but im here if youre still doing the meta asks!! topic: self vs other (how does verde relate to others? is he able to connect to those he sees himself mirrored in or due to anxiety / depression / self-loathing youve mentioned in the past does he prefer the company of those different in disposition, mentality, and background from him?)
I am always accepting asks and meta! Love it!
Self vs. Other
This is actually a very interesting topic! Verde would say he has no preference, but he is drawn to people who are more like himself. For Verde, who is a very compassionate person (whether he would admit it or not), he uses his age and experience to help those with similar instabilities. This is his way of connecting to others, and it is also his way of helping himself. The Kokuyo Gang are a prime example of individuals who Verde deeply cares for, and all of them have their own traumas. While his feelings for them also stem from a paternal instinct, Verde sees reflections of himself in each and every one of them. This leads to him wanting to make sure their growth and health is much better than what he had at their ages.
Friendship is hard for Verde.
This is not to say that he doesn’t connect to those opposite of him. There is a struggle though; his obsessive behavior with work, his high and low moods, anxieties... Often times he’ll get slapped with the label of “weird” (to put politely) and told how he can do better. This is an incredibly big pet peeve. One, because Verde is almost a century old and does not feel like a sudden shift in diet or exercise is going to magically cure why he’s unhappy (and expect sarcasm at such suggestions. “Wow, you’re right. Who knew yoga would cure decades of depression.”) Two, he doesn’t ask for it to begin with. As empathetic as Verde is, he is incredibly guarded. He will only relate experiences to those he knows can’t harm him, and he will firmly state that it is no one’s right to know what shaped him into the man he is. Some might call this defensive, but it’s true. Verde chooses not to disclose his personal problems to most people. The less understanding someone is of his behavior (for example, depression), the less Verde feels a true bond can form. He doesn’t desire to “prove himself” or explain his actions or even attempt to try with someone who simply does not understand.*
*This is not to say someone neurotypical would not understand his actions. It is more to say that Verde weeds out sincerity in others quickly, and the inability to be empathetic can greatly impact this. For sympathy, he has to know its not from a place of pity or lack of genuine care.
❝ i ... it’s okay , lambo - kun ! i’m okay , ❞ a fragile hand then reaches out in attempt to grasp his sleeve , holding him back from the drunken brutes on the street . after all , they would have been the ones to deeply regret it . and though her arm is probably bruised from roughly shoving into one of the wobbly men when passing a corner , it’s fine . nothing new at this point . not even the insults , the way they flashed a snarl or that off - putting glint in their eyes when they looked upon her before laughing among one another .
❝ i’m not that offended , honest . ❞ her lips , pressed tightly , are then upturned into a reassuring smile as she moves to stand in front of the riled up companion一 though the way he sought to defend her is a long lasting sweetness that would never fail to lift her spirits , despite the condescending words thrown in her direction . for she has heard it all : a prize , just a pretty face , some mafia trophy wife . why should such words cut her when she didn’t believe them herself ?
Valentine’s day memes: [x] Send me…💐: A playlist for our muses
Look friend, I did talking. Lots of it. There are like what 9 (my fave number) songs here? This is going under a readmore for ‘Neo talks too much, shut up’ reasons:
Note: Any part of any song that may sound romantic, just consider it to be some weird contrived way of Haru’s mind translating that to familial love or whatever. I couldn’t find many songs that fit them both perfectly but hey, I tried. I found songs that fit a good amount and i’m happy with that. This is my first attempt at a playlist so go easy on me. OTL
I justcan’t wait to be king ( ‘Lion King’ movie) - I imagine that Haru watches a lot of Disney with the kids and this one reminds her of Lambo. He’s always aspiring to be a great and powerful guy, yanno? So she sees this song to be a song that fits his aspirations very well. It’s an upbeat and child-like song that fits him.
Stand by you (Rachel Platten) - This song is one that she likes because not only is the song catchy, but it lines up well with how Haru feels. She’s very supportive of the lil guy, and she will ‘stand by him’. I understand that part of the lyrics can sound romantic and all that, but let’s face it Haru translated those parts in her mind as familial love since she’s an only child and she’s always wanted a sibling so it’s like he’s all she ever wanted in a younger sibling. He’s a very cute child who is trying his very best and it makes her want to support him.
Home (Chris Daughtry) - I personally love this song since we sang it for choir, and when I was thinking on it, I felt like this may be a song that Haru found and thought: I wonder if Lambo feels this way about those of us in Namimori, does he consider us to be home?’ So she listens to this song and contemplates those thoughts. It’s like, no matter where he goes and wherever things takes him, he’ll always have home with them. There is a part: ‘I don’t regret this life I chose for me’ and she thinks about how he’s a part of the mafia and how she hopes that he won’t regret being involved.
You raise me up (Westlife)- Haru thinks it to be a bit presumptuous of her, but she put this song in the playlist because she hopes that a part of this song is relatable in Lambo’s eyes. Even if it isn’t, she will still keep it in her playlist because she can relate to the song as well in some way. It’s a song, which to her sounds like a song that states that one supports the other and makes them feel strong. Though Lambo can’t physically support her or raise her up, he does help her in some ways. When things get hard for her and she is scared, she sees how hard he’s working. He’s the one that’s involved with the mafia. He was born into it. Though so young and a bit cowardly, he’s still trying to stand tall. If he can do it, why can’t she? She can be strong, just like that lil one. Watching him gives her more emotional strength and she’s secretly grateful to him because it’s hard. Though it is, she can’t give up because he’s still doing his best and she has to live up to it if that makes sense.
Don’t Grow up too fast (Daisy Mallory)- SSHHHHHH I know it starts off with ‘If I had a lil sister’ but I promise this song is relevant regardless. This song relates to Haru’s feelings when she looks at Lambo. She can see how he’s always trying to grow up quickly. He wants to quickly catch up to the ‘big bros’ but she still wants him to enjoy his youth and have a childhood. Don’t grow up too fast. You are still a kid. Please stop hurting yourself because you want to grow up so quickly. Enjoy life some more. Okay but I love the part where the singer sings about the boys and Haru agrees. Ignore them. ‘half of what they say is really just a bunch of noise. You got your whole life waiting, so don’t get all caught up in talking about forever, it’ll happen soon enough’. YEAH IGNORE THEM. Yes, you are childish, YOU ARE A CHILD. What should they expect from you? Don’t beat yourself over this. Accept yourself and understand that it will come in time. It’ll happen soon enough, don’t rush it. Please Lambo, don’t grow up too fast, because when you do, it’ll be too late to have the carefree fun. You’ll have more responsibilities and be involved with more pain. You may lose more people close to you and what not. More than that, it’s the feelings of an older sister who is really insecure and worried that if he’s all grown up’ she may lose him one day on a mission and she has cried over that when she thought about it or had nightmares about it. She’s terrified of the fact that one day she’ll be called and told he died. I mean even during the Vongola Ring battle thing he was in the hospital. If he was involved like that as a child, what if when he’s an adult? She’s scared. Are you crying yet? I SURE AM. HAVE BEEN
My Wish (Rascal Flatts)- Another song about her feelings. This song is pretty good at describing her wishes for Lambo. She wants for the everything the lyrics talk about for him. Know somebody loves you. May you never forget the ones who love you. May you get what you want in life. Hopefully you don’t get given more than you can handle. Guess it’s just the hopeful wishings of a self-proclaimed older sister. Yay for a shorter one because it’s easy to explain. HUZZAH.
Look Through My eyes (Phil Collins- Brother Bear movie) - Look through her eyes and maybe you’ll see something new. You are always progresing and learning new things. You are steadily becoming that lightening guardian you are some day to become. She’ll be there watching over you. Don’t be afraid, you can do it. No matter how discouraged or scared you get about the future, she’ll be there by your side and help you along the way. She’ll try to guide you and help you see that you’ll get there. Every time you feel depressed and lost, she’ll remind you: you are doing great. This song is pretty passionate in the sound, I feel. Like it sounds like it’s full of action and what not. It feels like it could be like a themesong of Lambo’s journey to becoming the strong guardian. Haru definitely tries to sing along with one. When Lambo is giving himself a hard time or if someone else is giving him a hard time, she can only see a young child who is being forced to grow up too quickly. How difficult it must be for a child to get used to such things. FREAKING STARING AT YOU SHIMON BATTLE AND THE VARIA BATTLE. THAT POOR COW CHILD!! Y’all can tell me what the Hell you want, but you have to give him credit and props for trying. Yes, he was scared. He wanted to run, and in a way he did, but he still did his best to stand his ground. He’s a CHILD, there is a limit to how much he can do and how much he can handle on a mental level. She is very impressed by him and she honestly hurts a bit if and when she ever catches Lambo being hurt or feeling insecure about himself. You are doing so good. If she was put in the same situation at your age, there is no way she could handle it. You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed. Don’t be discouraged, lil one. Ignore what the others may say to you. Big sis believes in you. She honestly wants to whisk you away and hide you away from the mafia world but she knows she can’t. You were born into it. You are heavily involved and it’s too late. Oh how she wishes she could save you from it, but she can’t, so all she can do is do her best to stay with you. Protect you when she can, and raise you up. HERE I AM CRYING AGAIN, DANG IT. I’m an elder sister myself. The eldest in fact. I’m the first born of my generation so i’m legit the oldest sister of all my cousins. i’m an emotional sister type, okay? I cried harder than my parents at their graduations.
You’ll be in my Heart (Phil Collins- Tarzan movie) - Ahahaha another song which is kind of like a song for Lambo. If she ever shared this playlist with him, she’d hope he’d know those are her words to him. You’ll be in her heart as an adorable lil brother of hers. That will never change, and he’ll always have a place in her heart. They’re both zany lil characters. A lot of the times, the others don’t understand either Lambo or Haru. They still get along and can relate to each other. It doesn’t matter if they can’t understand their bond. They can just support each other. One day, in time, they’ll see him for what he’ll be. ‘When destiny calls you, you must be strong. I may not be with you, but you’ve got to hold on’. Even if she won’t be with you in a time of danger, you have o be strong. Protect yourself. Live on. Never give up. Be the best Lambo you can be to make her proud. Whether she’s away, or if she’s passed away because of being affiliated with the mafia, she’ll always be with him, watching over him. She’ll be watching over his shoulder, nudging him along.
Here I am (Bryan Adams- Spirit movie) - ‘This song reminds me of Lambo-chan’. This song is something that she thinks may line up with his feelings. It’s like a plea for the older guys to notice him. Here he is. Don’t forget me. Don’t leave me behind. I am here. Bring me along so I can be with you guys. The ‘journey’ has just begun. I guess this is a song that she things may be more relevant as he grows a bit older and is a bit stronger. Maybe she’ll show him this song as a motivational kind of thing. Being with the Vongola is where you want to be. This is what you’ve strove so hard for. You are still young, there is much to learn and new things to try out. Every day can be new with a new plan. It’s a new journey to discover yourself.
To be honest, she puts a lot of uplifting or motivational kind of songs into this playlist. Anything that makes her feel like, ‘yes i’ll watch over you,’ it’ll go into the playlist. Sometimes when she listens to them and truly listens to the lyrics and everything, she cries.
