#terrible 1

[alyssadrawing]

i don’t post enough i’m going to draw a billion terrible things and post them all

[cheesycondor]

MY HOPELESS ATTEMPT AT WRITING

A TERRIBLE ROAD TRIP

  Recently, a few close mates and I embarked on a small road trip, heading to a few skate parks, some we had ridden and some that we had not. My best mate and I had recently purchased and built up our dream bikes and wanted to stay true to the brand and blast some big carve worthy concrete bowls. In what was meant to be a three day ordeal, unfortunately (due to terrible weather) ended up being a one day, seven hundred kilometre epic. So at 6am, three of us filled up the car, grabbed a questionable breakfast and got going. The following is a recap of a few situations where I found myself thinking ‘fuck, BMX is just the best and a few that left me tearing my hair out.

As most ‘web surfers’ (is that still a thing?) have the attention span of a blonde goldfish, the following is in the ‘cool list format’ that every fucking ‘popular’ website seems to be adopting.

  1.    HILLS ARE REALLY FUCKING COOL.

You don’t really think of Australia when you think of big hills, but our country is still far from flat. Only an hour or so into our journey, we spotted a turn off for a waterfall and lookout and just thought, what the hell, let’s do it. The road up to this beautiful natural gushing attraction was steep and windy although it wasn’t till about a third of the way back down that I decided that something had to be done. I brought the car was brought to a holt and the two of us whom had brakes took the bikes off the rear mounted rack and prepared for what would be a wicked ride. (at this moment we both forgot about the roadworks at the bottom of the hill,our brakes would be lifesavers here) A few hard cranks later and we were both travelling down the hill at speed. I sat down on my comfy seat (yeah, still running a railed seat, sorry Macneil) and got to enjoying what was a beautiful sunny Saturday in the middle of nowhere, blasting a hill with my best mate. Just carving down, threading my own line through the tight bends and occasional hairpin corner, hopping over potholes and cattle grids that got my blood pumping and my stoked meter off the charts. Day made and it’s not even 10am yet.

  2.    BRIDGES ARE PRETTY COOL TOO

An hour or so later, we found ourselves cruising down a steep valley into a creek bed, only to spot a beautiful single span arch bridge crossing the steady flowing brook. In another, ‘what the hell, why not moment’ we decided to stop and have a gawk at this 1960’s-ish marvel of engineering. Being young blokes, ‘having a look’ soon turned into a full scaling of the under part of the bridge, admiring all the previous artwork scribbled on the bridge using conveniently carried sharpies or just sharp rocks. Now I may sound a little bromance-ish, but it was really nice to be hanging with some top quality mates whom I know well enough to know that they won’t try and jump into the creek or deface the bridge like every other dickhead my age. We were there to enjoy the bridge and its importance to our journey, not to take it for granted like the rest of the ‘artists’ had.

  3.    THE WORSE THE TOWN, THE BETTER THE SKATEPARK

Around 2 hrs after we intended on arriving at our goal park, we roll into town and I immediately get the impression that if the park is anything like the main street, we had just wasted time, fuel, and probably half of my cars’ shock absorbers lifespan. The town was full of what seemed to be the strangest mix of tourists, local business owners, but it seemed that the streets seemed to be dominated by  ‘locals high on life…’ Fortunately, when we finally weaved our way through the shadiest, accident prone main street I have ever been on, (keeping in mind I have been to Thailand and Lithuania) we were welcomed by a massive 12 foot bowl complete with downhill snake run flowing right into it. I will start by saying that concrete reflects heat really, really well. I swear I could have filed one of the smaller bowls with sweat… In saying that, the heat didn’t stop us from tearing the bowl a new one. If anything, the heat was good in keeping the local ‘skate or die/ it’s a skatepark not a bikepark’ locals off the snake run and bowl. There is something so magical about the rush of peddling as fast as you can into a massive smooth, curved surface and carving around and around it for as long as physically possible that brings a big fat smile to your face, whether you have been riding for 1 month or 10 years. Bloody stoked.

  4.    KIDS STOKED ON TRAILS ARE ABOUT AS RARE AS A WAR IN SWITZERLAND

Yes, I’m aware that there are kids who are keen on trails. However, I am also more aware of the ‘yeah man, I love trails, I wish someone would build some here’ and more recently, ‘dad owns a few bobcats and we have heaps of land but I just couldn’t be fucked learning aye.’ I was excited to ride this park as I had seen it numerous times and always looked like it had some great flowy lines.  It seems that brakes on BMX bikes (well, a single cable set up) are becoming that odd that when you rock up to a foreign park, every young local seems to look at you like some sort of alien. What follows the odd looks is a series of questions- where are you guys from? How long have you been riding? etc, and then the big one, why do you run brakes? I was feeling nice for some reason and explained that when you ride trails on the side of a range, stopping can be important if you wish to stay alive. This sparked the trail conversation, putting me in a bad mood, and giving me very little faith in young BMX riders. Park was pretty fun in the end, was a shame that the brief conversations that I had had with the locals left such a terrible taste in my mouth.

  5.    TOP M8 HEALS DIRT WOUND

If you had of told me 3 years ago that a certain mate would be stoked on digging and all things trails, I would have laughed and told you that you were crazy. How I was wrong. As this mate had to work the morning shift and a certain sandwich bar, he was meeting us for the tail end of the trip, hitting the parks that offered lights until late. If you know this bloke, you will know that he is one of the few rare kids that make it through the annoying stage mentioned in point 4 and come out a little wiser and with a real good attitude when it comes to all things BMX, not just what Garrett or Baldock are currently adding an extra barspin to. I guess that seeing that he came out alright made me think that if you make it through those shady high school years of knowing everything and being bulletproof, you end up doing good things for BMX. If you don’t make it though, I couldn’t give a shit, BMX will be better without you. (Take the hint Mike Spinner)  His presence paired with some local beers and general tomfoolery made for a refreshing ride at a park that, to be honest, made me miss my pegs a little.

  6.   GASTLY CIRCUS COMPOUND

After a quick Mc-dinner and fuel up, we decided to take a quick detour from the highway to have a gander at a nearby indoor park. By now I had driven 500km already and was pretty tired so rather than wondering in with the other 3 lads, I decided to stay near the car and peer in at what only can be described as a mass Dew Tour training facility. Yes, I get that ‘park’ riding is a big thing and ‘progression’ is big in BMX at this current period, but it was like watching the same things, over and over again. No individuality, no distinct style. Every bike looked and sounded the same -profile elite hubs that would fold at the thought of a feeble grind down a brick ledge, low standover height frames and bars, well, the bigger and more scooter ratio-d, the better. There are just boxes. spines, quarter pipes and foam pits- no hips, wedges or interesting lines, just straight forward, back and forth riding- the sort of thing that Nate Wessel would have nightmares about. With this said, what I did still notice is that there was still those few kids that still managed to look like they were having fun, not just riding to get sponsored and live the Dew Tour dream. It’s these kids that keep BMX alive and well and not just a fad you partake in until you get your licence and (insert tuner/drift car here)

7.    ‘W’ RAMP FLOW

Only a few kilometres up the highway, we decide to head to an old park that was once the ‘Mecca’ of the local BMX scene. Part of the old metal park was, to our excitement, lit up with not a soul (or ghost, it’s a shady place…) around. The main attraction here is a large European style mini ramp- a ‘W’ shape with wallrides and sub-boxes on the quarters. As none of us had been to this park for a number of years, my best mate decides that this is the night to ride this ramp- and ride it he did. I was sitting on the ramp, and just couldn't stop smiling watching him. No crazy tricks, no 15 foot airs, just smooth, stylish riding, utilising the whole ramp, not just one ‘trick’ quarter pipe. It seemed odd to think that 3 or 4 years ago, this park was packed with riders all the time- riders who are now all probably down the highway adding more whips and bars and point 6.  

8.   THE NOT SO LONG ROAD HOME

Its half past nine and we drop my mate back to his current abode and begin the (not so) long trip back home. (I guess after that much riding and driving, an hour and a half feels like forever) Bloke in the back seat is asleep within minutes of us leaving, leaving the T1 lads in the front talking all sorts of smack. After a few good 80’s sing-alongs, we arrive back at my mates’ place where high fives are generously given followed by the three of us going our separate ways. It was only then, on the 20 minute drive home, that I started to realise how amazing my day had been and how much BMX, no matter what discipline brings people together. If it makes them as happy and stoked on life as I get when I am on my two wheeled steed, that it is pretty fucking great.