#terror designation

[girlactionfigure]

BREAKING: The Muslim Brotherhood Rebrands To Avoid US Terror Designation

Designated a terrorist organization? Nothing a quick rebrand can't fix!

The United States is reportedly considering designating the Muslim Brotherhood as a foreign terrorist organization. Unconfirmed sources (i.e. I made it up) report that this triggered a rapid emergency meeting inside the Brotherhood’s PR department, where someone apparently suggested that if you cannot change your behavior, you can at least change your name.

The result is a list of new branding options that would embarrass even the most shameless corporate marketing team.

The Leading Rebrand Candidates

1. Humanitarian Alliance for Multicultural Advocacy and Solidarity Acronym: HAMAS Nothing says legitimacy like throwing “humanitarian” and “multicultural” into the title and hoping no one notices the swords in the logo.

2. Institute for Social Inclusion Studies Acronym: ISIS Sounds like a peaceful university department, and as a bonus it pays homage to the Ancient Egyptian goddess of magic and healing. Very wholesome.

3. Alliance for Local Quality and Education, Diversity, and Accountability Acronym: ALQAEDA A beautiful blend of corporate jargon. Everyone loves diversity and accountability. The accidental spelling is just unfortunate.

4. National Association of Muslim Brotherhood Legacy Advocates Acronym: NAMBLA A choice that proves the rebranding committee stopped checking Google around 1998.

The rebrand is supposed to show that any terror designation is “Islamophobia,” despite the inconvenient fact that the group is outright banned by the following Muslim-majority countries:

Egypt, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Syria, Jordan (legal entity dissolved), Kuwait (severe restrictions).

If half the Middle East already banned you, maybe the problem is not bigotry. Maybe it is you.

The Brotherhood Joins a Long Tradition of Extremist Rebrands

Rebranding to escape accountability is practically its own subculture among extremist groups. A few classics:

Jamaat ul Fuqra -> Muslims of America Same leaders. Same ideology. New friendlier stationary.

Al Muhajiroun -> Islamic Thinkers Society -> Revolution Muslim Every time a name was banned, a new one popped up like a fast-food chain.

Hezbollah front groups rotating through charity names When the old “charity” gets sanctioned, a new one appears with identical staff photos.

Holy Land Foundation and related “humanitarian” nonprofits The brochures said charity. The money trail said Hamas.

Rebranding in extremism works exactly like rebranding in tech. When there is a scandal, rename the app and hope everyone forgets what it did.

The Taliban has already jumped in and is reportedly launching a mindfulness app called BeheadSpace. Early reviews say the breathing exercises are surprisingly short.

If you have suggestions for other terror groups entering rebrand season, send them. The market is wide open.

THEMOSSADIL

NOV 24

[tearsofrefugees]

Trump Wants to Use Terror Designation to Block More Immigrants

Donald Trump continues to find ways to limit immigration.

[thoughtlessarse]

Targeting environmental activists with counterterrorism measures is an abuse of the law ǀ View

Protecting the endangered Asiatic cheetah. Tweeting a satirical poem. Attending a climate conference. Campaigning against a power plant. These actions hardly conjure images of suicide bombers or coup plotters. Yet, they have been labelled “eco-terrorism,” “extremism,” or “threats to national security” by governments and businesses that seek to block the work of environmental activists.

As young people around the world gather for a global climate strike on Friday, and as the 25th Conference of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (COP25) begins in Madrid on Monday, conference delegates would do well to consider that one important way to protect the environment is to protect environmental defenders.

To be sure, environmentalists face dangers beyond being labelled security threats. From the Amazon rainforest to South African mining communities, activists defending ecosystems and ancestral lands are threatened, attacked and even killed with near-total impunity. But the unjust labelling of environmentalists as dangerous criminals or threats to national security is often more insidious, as it is generally carried out under the aegis of the law.

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