Sep 4, 2023
I have been got by brainrot-
The snuggling piece I wrote was too good apparently LMAO These two would absolutely squabble for sleep time cuddles until Allora would remind them that she has "two hands, god damn it."
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I have been got by brainrot-
The snuggling piece I wrote was too good apparently LMAO These two would absolutely squabble for sleep time cuddles until Allora would remind them that she has "two hands, god damn it."
All I could think about while drawing this asdgagfshsdf
Cicero Loves You, Listener! TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
Something had gone wrong while we were up on the cliff.
I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it. It felt like we were being watched. I was certain the others could feel it to, with the way Inigo’s tail whipped up a storm, ears flicked back tightly against his skull; Lucien nervously kept checking over his shoulder, waiting for something to pop out; Kaidan scanning the horizon line repeatedly for anyone in the close vicinity or far distance.
I couldn’t hold back my own shivers of discomfort as we slowed our pace, feeling very much like we were being corralled to something.
We were not too far from Falkreath, in Reachmen territory. Normally, according to my boys, this usually spelt disaster. But I’d managed to make friends with many of the tribes in the area, and they’d given us clear passage by warning others that we weren’t to be harmed.
They really enjoyed my hurdy gurdy songs I’d shared the first time.
Due to this safety net, however, I knew it wasn’t them stalking us like prey. Shepherded closer and closer to the edge of a cliffside, my hands felt clammy while holding the grip of Kaidan’s bow, and I felt as taut as the bowstring along my entire body.
I just wished something would happen, so we could get it over with all ready!
Suspense was my most despised form of horror. Not knowing when the other shoe would drop raised my anxiety levels too high; pulse skyrocketing in my veins. Sahloknir and Mirmulnir could hardly contain Nahagliiv with the amount of turmoil coiling through me, try as I might to douse it with vague hope.
My heart was palpitating and squeezing too tightly. My mouth felt like cotton had taken over to live on my tongue, and I felt sweat trickle down the base of my arms. I was sure to have an anxiety attack before long if this kept up.
Inigo whipped around, bow drawn, a snarl on his face as we all turned to see what had caught his attention.
But there was nothing in the area behind us.
I whipped my head back around— equal parts sure it had been a diversion, as well as thinking I had heard something this time— only to find nothing yet again. Sequestered between two boulders that hugged the edge of the cliff precariously, we all waited, as still as our breathing, for anything to happen.
…And waited.
…
…And waited still.
Despite nothing happening, none of us were willing to look away and untense to let our guards drop. We’d been through too much for that. We knew better— even Lucien, who I could tell was struggling to keep still.
I swallowed thickly again, trying to hear anything beyond the beating of my blood in my ears. We were on our way back to Whiterun, and all I wanted to do was to fall into Bren’s arms and rest with my family. I wanted to go home and cook for them and not think about being the Dragonborn for five minutes. Not have to think about the Gods that pestered me endlessly about saving the world.
I wanted a break. Not to break.
Kaidan shuffled in place, the sound of his gloves creaking from his grip sounding like blaring sirens in the stillness. Lucien’s breathing was tight, fire alight along his fingers and palms. And though no longer drawn fully to conserve energy, Inigo was still poised and at the ready to shoot anything that remotely popped up out of the blue.
I could feel my magicka swirling just under the surface of my skin, aching to be let out and released, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I couldn’t draw eyes to us just because of this tension. It would only give whatever was out there a hidden third party to kill us all the easier.
I was growing weary with every passing minute though. Why wait this long? Why drag it out? Were they even there anymore?
The temptation to call out grew more and more, but I could hear my sister berating me for outing myself to an enemy and risking my team. So I continued biting my tongue and kept my eyes peeled—
There. A shadow had moved behind the boulder on the right, I had seen it. I silently nudged Inigo and Kaidan, as they were closest to me, and nodded towards that boulder. They nodded back, eyes sharp, as I slowly moved to Lucien’s side to warn him as well.
What I hadn’t anticipated was the sudden and sharp whistle from a fired arrow racing towards me, catching me in the shoulder in mere moments.
All hell broke loose. Kaidan and Inigo immediately went on the hunt, shouting out war cries as they raced after the perceived threat, while Lucien caught me as I fell into his arms. I stumbled, knees hitting the dirt and small rocks painfully; my hand reaching up to the arrow that was surely sunk into my muscle.
Another whistle, I couldn’t think, I just shoved Lucien down, watching as the next arrow shuddered into the dirt behind us.
“RUN!” I screamed past the stranglehold on my throat, getting up as fast as I possibly could and dragged Lucien up with me.
“Where?!” He yelped back, stumbling upright and hurried off as I pushed him.
“Anywhere! Serpentine! Just run!” I croaked. Anxiety was clawing at my insides— I couldn’t think.
Another arrow just barely missed Lucien’s foot as he dodged left, leaving him yelping again. I turned to the direction the arrows were firing from, but saw nothing but open spaces.
Wait—
Along the ground of the cliffside, there were specific pocket markings, as if the dirt had been turned over. Risking the spare moments between an archer’s reload time, I could see that the motions continued in a semi-circle from one boulder to the other.
Exactly covering the section only I remained standing on.
My pupils were dilated as time slowed down. In his haste, Lucien’s feet ripped up the dirt from behind him, loose as it was, sending trickles of it throughout the air.
Another arrow just missed him, sending him skating further beyond the line.
A trap.
I went to run— I needed to get out of here— but another arrow stopped me in my tracks as it pierced my thigh. I screamed in pain, falling forward into the dirt, and felt it shudder under the force of my weight.
I howled in agony as I broke the arrow in my thigh, digging the arrowhead further into my skin; barely seeing past the blinding white pain of Lucien attempting to run back to me. He was stopped by dozens of arrows flying his way, keeping him trapped. Kaidan and Inigo were nowhere to be seen from my position. I couldn’t hear much past the tinnitus ringing in my head.
I was being targeted. By what? Or whom?
It didn’t matter. I needed to—!
The ground shook horrifically, just as predicted, and I turned my head to see the dirt collapsing behind me over the edge. I grabbed fistfuls of grass and dirt, desperately clawing my way across as best I could.
Lucien was braving through the storm of arrows, diving headfirst along the ground to reach out to me—
My fingertips grazed his—
He gasped in pain as his body retracted from being shot in the side again and again; eyes peering widely into my own.
And I let out a terrified scream as my body plummeted down, down, down below.
Cicero Loves You, Listener!
TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
I was humming a small tune that echoed in my mind as I plucked flowers free from a bushel.
Cicero had been teaching me more about alchemy, and I was eager to learn. The fact that potions existed still excited me, making me wonder if I was from some place that didn’t have any. Cicero disregarded the notion with a laugh, saying how odd it would be for that to be true.
My gut tells me otherwise, but I make no mention of it to him.
Instead, I was joyfully picking flowers from the bushes and gathering soft mushrooms where I could. Cicero was doing his duty of keeping the Night Mother, but I promised I wouldn’t stray too far from the door so he could come collect me in an hour.
It was wonderful to be in the fresh air again.
I sighed softly at the sound of the twittering birds and rustling of the trees. One might think the sounds overbearing after being stuck in silence for so long, and at times it was, but for the moment it was a comfort.
I felt at peace with the cold winds prickling my skin teasingly as it brushed up against me, or curling itself around my hair.
It almost felt like another presence, equally matronly, was grooming me after being gone so long. Trying to clean away impurities.
I shook my head, huffing softly. Magick may exist, but the biggest magick of them all was my imagination. Just because I hear a voice in my head one time doesn’t mean there are magical presences in everything.
…Right?
I paused momentarily at the thought before sighing and shaking my head again. I truthfully didn’t know. But if it was a magical presence like Mother, then I was grateful it was so overly friendly, rather than aggressive.
My chest was swelling again, with the urge to sing. I’d been humming to reduce it, but it seemed the urge only grew instead of fading.
I couldn’t find the words though. It’s as if it was another language entirely, and my brain couldn’t form the sentences correctly. But the tune was hauntingly beautiful.
Closing my eyes, I could envision someone with wings attached to their head, praying to someone’s corpse. A tall black haired person finding them, taking them away.
Messiah? Monster? It was impossible to tell who was who. There was blood on both of them.
Was that me? Was that my past life?
Was that the black haired man I kept seeing in my dreams?
Had he saved me from a cult before? Had I fallen right back into it without him?
Too many questions. Never any answers. Never any proper answers.
My head thrummed painfully, and I stood, dusting off my pants free from grasses and dirt, intent on waiting closer to the door for Cicero, when I heard someone call out.
“Allora?!”
I turned around quickly, hand falling to the dagger Cicero gave me as a precaution, and saw—
A… very familiar black haired man.
His features… by Sithis, he was beautiful. Prominent cheek bones, a beautiful, blood red tattoo with eyes match. A feminine masculinity, if such a thing were to exist.
And he knew my name.
“Allora,” he called out again, reaching out and stepping forward. “By the Gods, where have you been? I thought… we thought…”
“I…” My throat was clogged, taking a weary step back. He was too close to the sanctuary. He’d see the others and they would kill him. “I don’t know who you are. But you need to leave.”
“Lass?”
The flash of yearning and pain flickered across his eyes, and it made my heart seize. Was I doing the wrong thing, not greeting him like a friend?
Cicero would be back soon. He would flip.
“Please,” I begged, forgoing my basket to take another step back. I swallowed thickly, grimacing as he matched me step for step. “Go back.”
“I’m not leaving without you again.” The man said. Not a demand, but an equal plea. “Come home. Please. Bren misses you.”
“Bren?” I asked. A flicker of brown hair came as fast as it went in my mind.
“Aye. Lucien and Inigo too.”
“Lucien…?”
Blond hair, a scruffy beard…
“...Inigo…?”
Blue. Beautiful, beautiful blue.
“That’s right, lass. I missed you too.” He said, daring to take another step forward. His hand— by Sithis he was warm and it felt so right but so wrong— took hold of my right hand to keep the dagger aloft and away from both of us. “Kaidan. My name is Kaidan. D’ya remember?”
“I…”
My left hand trailed up to my neck, half expecting something to be there. What? A memento?
His thumb dragged against my skin, and it made my breath hitch. I felt weak— weaker than ever— and I wanted nothing more than for him to carry me away.
“Listener?”
I jolted, turning to see Cicero looking around for me near the door. I panicked, shoving the man’s hand away, and leapt for the basket, turning around and booking it towards the Keeper.
Cicero looked surprised to see me running towards him. Even moreso when I took his hand and fled inside the sanctuary.
A part of me wailed to leave the mysterious man— Kaidan— but I couldn’t risk the family seeing him. The fear was larger than the longing.
The need to keep him safe was larger than that.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed behind me, and I hadn’t seen the man give chase. Hopefully he hadn’t seen the hatch, and hopefully he didn’t know the phrase to get in.
If he did, surely that meant he was part of the family too, though, right?
Surely…
“Listener? Are you well? You’re breathing quite heavily, and ran so quick!” Cicero asked, pulling my attention away from the man.
“I…” I huffed and puffed, lungs absolutely burning in agony from my sudden panic and subsequent race. A memory came to mind that made my cheeks flush further, dragging my eyes to the side. “There was… a bee…”
Silence. Large, still, silence.
Before rapturous laughter once more.
“Hohoho! Cicero did not know the Listener was afraid of bees,” he teased, squeezing my hand. “And here Cicero thought it was an unruly threat he had to take care of! Hahaha!”
“What?” I sighed, pouting lightly in disappointment. “You wouldn’t protect me from bees?”
“Cicero has to say, he agrees with their taste!” Cicero said, tugging me along down the steps. “Miss Allora, sweet Allora, is just like a flower! It is hard not to buzz, buzz, buzz around her! Hoho! Hehe!”
I rolled my eyes and tried to calm down my thumping heartbeat as I followed along the rambling jester.
I very pointedly did not look back to the doors, trying to ignore the part of me that still reached out to the man waiting behind them.
Cicero Loves You, Listener!
TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
“Cicero—”
“I advise against it, my Listener!”
I’d been asking for the past hour to go for a walk around the area for fresh air, but it was like talking to a stone wall with how adamant Cicero ‘advised’ against my wants.
“There are many dangers outside, and you have not recovered fully!” Cicero proclaimed, waving his hands around wildly. “Why just yesterday, you were out of breath from walking from one side of the sanctuary to the other! You will merely exacerbate yourself! And while Cicero prides himself in strength, he is not so certain he could carry you and deal with any dangers that might arise simultaneously!”
“Just a foot outside, Cicero,” I pleaded, clasping my hands together. “I’m going so stir-crazy down here, and I really just want to feel sunlight on my skin again. It’s not healthy to remain out of the sun for so long, I’ll start to become depressed and anxious.”
Cicero chewed on his lip, clearly fighting both allowing me to go outside, and also not wanting me to become sad.
It was sweet.
“Just to stand outside.” I said, taking his hands in mine. He seemed to like contact, so I hoped it worked in my favour, despite feeling shitty for using it as a tactic to get what I wanted. “No further than the door. I just want to breathe fresh air.”
“Oh… fiddlesticks.” He muttered, letting out a dramatic sigh afterwards. “Very well. Cicero cannot leave Mother alone for too long anyhow. It would not do to let her get lonely in my absence, no, no!”
“Right. Just a quick outing.” I nodded, giving his hands a grateful squeeze. “Thank you, Cicero.”
“Do not thank me, my Listener!” He admonished, pulling a hand away to wag his finger at me. “I am sure you will be cursing yourself for walking so far when you are not ready! But… dearest, most loyal Cicero will be there to catch you when you fall.”
“My hero.” I teased, laughing at his pout.
“You tease poor Cicero! Harrumph! Perhaps he shall just… leave you sitting outside!” Cicero said, pulling away his other hand to cross his arms.
“Oh boy, more sun soaking.” I jested, grinning as he gasped.
“Listener!”
“Hehe.”
“Am I interrupting something?”
I turned to see Gabriella at the door to Mother’s sanctuary, raising an eyebrow in our direction. I waved my hand, happy to see her.
“No, we’re just talking. About to go step outside for a minute for fresh air. Want to come?”
“Hmm… tempting. But Astrid wanted me to complete a contract that had been around before Night Mother came.” She declined politely. “I just wanted to let you know before I left in case you needed something.”
How sweet!
“Would it be all right to ask for you to pick me up some soap?” I asked, smiling sheepishly.
She smirked, shrugging. “Sure. But it’ll be coming out of your first contract pay.”
I blinked. “My first contract?”
Gabriella frowned. “What, you didn’t think you’d just be here listening, did you? I’m sure the Night Mother has some tasks waiting for you until you’ve healed. So when that happens, I’ll take the fee for the soap.”
“Ah…. yeah. That’s fine.” I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Her playful glint faded as she cleared her throat and glanced over my shoulder. “...Do you require anything, Keeper?”
“Cicero has everything he needs right here!” Cicero replied cheerily.
There was a strange look in her eye as she glanced towards me, a grimace subtly crossing her features. “...Right. I’ll be back in a week or so then. Sithis' whisper be upon you, Listener, Keeper.”
“Safe travels!” I offered in turn.
“Night Mother guard you, sister.” Cicero replied, hopping over with a jingle to my side.
As Gabriella left, I smiled over at Cicero before noticing his tense gaze that followed Gabriella’s form through the glass window. Frowning, I lightly nudged his shoulder, raising my eyebrow as he turned to me.
“You good?”
“Cicero is very evil!” He replied, that bright grin on his face once more.
I snorted, shaking my head. “Whatever. Come on, we’re burning daylight.”
“If we must…”
I was eager to feel the wind on my skin. Anything but this stale air. The thick tension. Suffocating.
The chill that was ladened over the sanctuary was nothing like the chill outside, but I didn’t care as my skin lightly burned from the frost. I didn’t care that it pained me to breathe. I relished the winds, the light sun rays, the air.
It felt so good to be outside.
“Well, this has certainly been a wonderful treat!” Cicero said, clapping his hands together. “Shall we head back inside, Listener—?”
I felt a grin crawl over my lips as I burst forward, twirling around and laughing brightly. I felt so free.
The sky was just as blue as my memories that flitted in partial moments at time.
The clouds were just as fluffy.
The tree leaves scattered around and curled over my form, following a swirling wind that greeted me happily. Welcoming me back from what felt like a grave, under the earth for so long.
I felt breathless as I fell back, staring up into the sky from the grass and dirt, relief expanding from my head to my toes.
I was alive.
Cicero’s form came closer to my vision, his eyebrow raised with a wry look.
“Cicero told Listener that she would get tired quickly. Does he need to carry her in all ready?”
“No, Cicero,” I said, unable to keep the smile off my face. “Lay down with me!”
“Lay down?” Cicero parroted, looking affronted.
“Come cloud watch with me!”
“My dearest Listener, surely you jest! And that’s coming from the jester!” Cicero drawled. “You promised Cicero it would be a lickety split trip!”
“Please?” I begged, reaching up to hold his hand. “Surely you feel better being out of that hovel. I know you notice things more than I do when it comes to the others, but Astrid and Arbjorn were driving me crazy with their passive aggressive stares.”
“Hoho! Aggressive-aggressive is more accurate, says Cicero!” He replied, holding my hand immediately. I knew he had a weakness for it. “Listener is certainly not wrong, not wrong at all. But it is for that exact reason why we should return post-haste! Who knows what the harlot and her sheepdog might do to poor Mother?”
“Isn’t that against the Tenets?” I asked.
“It is tenet number one! To dishonor the mother is to invoke the Wrath of Sithis!” Cicero reminded me, patting my hand. “However, the false Mistress is not keen on listening to Mother in the first place, oh no. She prefers being the head! Oh, if only Mother would tell you to let me have her head roll. How I ache to do it!”
I hummed noncommittally, laying my head back on the ground to look back up at the sky. “I don’t think she’ll do it. She seems like she doesn’t want to believe, but still does out of fear. We have time.”
“My dearest Listener holds a lot of trust in the distrustful.” Cicero tutted.
I pulled on his hand to urge him to sit with me, not moving him an inch. “So says the jester who trusts me.”
“Are you distrustful? What a crazy notion, a crazy notion indeed!” Cicero laughed, swinging our connected hands with his movements. “Mother would never trust someone so!”
‘That’s what worries me.’ I think to myself, grumbling and tugging on his arm again.
“Come on, relax with me for a bit. My arm is getting tired.”
“All the more reason to return inside!”
I slip my hand from his immediately, throwing a frown in his direction. He immediately holds up his own hands placatingly, giving a giggle.
“Listener knows best! I am but a simple fool, hehe!”
“I’ll show you simple fool in a second,” I muttered, turning my gaze back to the beautiful sky.
“Does the Listener carry a mirror on their person?”
I gaped at him in surprise, scoffing lightly. “Rude!”
“He meant for poor, foolish Cicero, my dear Listener!” Cicero said unconvincingly with a grin. “Honest! Cross his heart and hope to die a painful death!”
“I so believe you, Keeper.” I snarked, sticking my tongue out at him.
Cicero only giggled in reply, seemingly content to watch me watch the sky.
It was a beautiful day.
Cicero Loves You, Listener!
TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
My head ached.
I could hardly open my eyes, the pounding in my head was so loud. My back felt torn apart, my right deltoid and left thigh were burning, and my head was fucking pounding.
It must have been a bodily reflex to test my fingers and toes, as I hadn’t realized I’d done it until my brain mentally relieved itself of the worry I’d lost any. Ten fingers, ten toes, all accounted for.
It was hard to swallow though. My mouth was so dry, my lips cracked.
Would it be so bad to just fall back into the listless void again? To be cradled by the ether and not deal with any of this?
I nearly did, had it not been for a familiar creaking noise of a door a few paces from where I laid. I’d gathered I was in a bed, given the state of my lying position, as well as the blankets surrounding me. I felt like I wanted to violently tear the blankets off my feet, but I had no strength to do so.
Instead, I found strength to crack open my eyes, feeling myself freeze in place at the sight ahead of me.
Cast aglow and sundered by the remaining shadows shrouding his face, I saw a silhouette of a man staring at me just from around the other side of the door in the dimly lit room I was placed in.
I felt a shudder creep up my spine, both from his seemingly thousand yard and yet hungry stare, as well as anxieties I couldn’t remember the cause of bursting from my chest at the sight of someone watching me as I rested.
Had that happened before? Had worse happened?
I couldn’t… I couldn’t remember.
That was far more terrifying.
He must have noticed me staring right back, unmoving, hardly breathing, as his vision changed suddenly. His expression became more joyous and jovial; masking what small preview I had seen that clearly laid underneath.
“Ah! The kind lady is awake! She is, she is!” The man’s shrill voice called out in the silence, opening the door further to clap his hands together joyfully.
I had to wince. Everything was so loud.
“Kind… lady…?” I croaked out instead, watching him skip over to me with a jingle literally in every step.
His attire was like a jester— was a jester. He was a jester. Black and red clothing with golden trimming, certainly a bold choice for a jester, but a jester nonetheless with those bells that curled on his shoes and held down his hat.
His smile was wide as he addressed me, “Oh yes! You helped poor Cicero along the road so very long ago! He is very happy to be able to return the favour!”
I felt my brows crease in concern. ‘I helped him?... I can’t… I can’t remember…’
His smile dropped into something woeful. Mocking? An attempt to be pitious? I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t read him.
“Oh dear, oh dear! It seems your mind is more rattled than poor Cicero’s!” He murmured, fretting about above me, but never touching. Thankfully. “Fret not, fret not! Friendly Cicero is here to help! Does the kind lady have a name?”
A name? Oh god. Please. Not my name, I need my name—
“A-Allora…” I stuttered past dry lips, idly licking them in a vain attempt to speak better. “I think…”
“Allora, Allora! What a wonderful name, so pretty, pretty, for such a kind lady!” The jester sang, rocking in place with his hands clasped and pressed against his cheek. “Well, Miss Allora, Cicero found you outside not too far from home, quite in a state! Yes, yes! Cicero was so beside himself to see such a kind woman injured, he knew he just had to scoop you up into safety!”
I was injured… that much was obvious from the raging headache and bodily pain.
“Do you remember anything at all?” He asked, voice suddenly low as he leaned in.
I craned my head back, tense, and staring right back into his piercing gaze. Why did this feel like I was the one in trouble? What did he think I knew?
“I-I… I really can’t… remember much…” I murmured, turning my head slightly. “My head… really hurts…”
He stayed for a breath of a moment, before pulling back and placing a hand on each cheek. “Oh, Cicero is so sorry you are in so much pain! Please, allow him to go fetch you a potion! And some water! You sound so dreadfully weak and tired, yes, yes.”
That sounded like a thinly veiled insult.
I couldn’t tell. Was it just his inflections? Was it my head?
Either way, I couldn’t trust him just because he said I helped him and he saved me. Something churned in my stomach that something was wrong. I don’t remember him. He didn’t even know my name.
Did he actually know me at all?
I watched as he left hurriedly, flapping his hands all the while, humming under his breath. I peered around the dimly lit room, taking in the various melted candles that sat around the room without any container to hold the wax; merely melting all over various surfaces.
Something in me scratched angrily about the wax coating book covers over on the distant table. I had to agree; it seemed wasteful.
Other than the books, table, a small nightstand with two candles nearby, and a seat— along with the bed I was resting in— the room was fairly empty. Cobblestone lined the walls and were smoothed to make the floor, a chill not quite kept out from the outside leaking in.
I huddled into the warmth of the blankets further, the cold doing nothing to help me stay awake. But I knew despite my need to rest to heal, I didn’t think I could with the mental image of that jester staring at me in my mind.
Maybe he meant well. But something in my gut screamed in terror, so I would listen to it. I could listen to nothing else.
It was long enough to acknowledge the dreary, unsettling silence lingering in the air before the jester came back. He held a cup in one hand and a potion in the other.
Presumably. Were potions just another name for medicine? I couldn’t remember.
Settling the items on the table, the jester carefully helped me sit up enough to drink both liquids— having to pause momentarily during the potion as my body had threatened to reject it immediately— before I was settled once more.
Thankfully, he had gloves on. I felt a little less weary about touch with those keeping skin contact to a minimum.
After the revolting medicine though, I did feel my aches begin to ease near immediately. I didn’t feel drowsy from the effect either; just itchy from the muscles and skin healing at a rapid rate.
I supposed I couldn’t keep the wonder off my face as the jester laughed loudly next to me.
“Oh, how adorable Miss Allora is! Cicero, too, was enamoured with the way potions worked when he was very very little!” He said, patting my head softly. I was proud I withheld my flinch. “Hopefully that will soothe your achey-broken-brain soon enough!”
“I hope so too,” I murmured, sinking into the bedding underneath me. It wasn’t as soft as I expected it to be for some reason. But it was comfortable all the same.
“In the meantime, allow friendly Cicero to gather you sustenance!” Cicero said, clapping his hands together. “What would Miss Allora like to eat?”
“Um…”
Did I have allergies? I must if I was thinking about it so suddenly. But what?
“Oh, foolish Cicero!” He said suddenly, smacking a hand to his forehead. “Silly Cicero! He did not mean to make you feel sad about being unable to remember. He will simply gather something simple! A fine soup! Would that be well?”
“Yes,” I nodded slowly, feeling guilty for my distrust at this point. Weariness aside, he was taking care of me. “...Thank you, Cicero.”
He froze momentarily before laughing again. It was deep from his gut, like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
“Oh, Miss Allora! You are so kind, so kind!” Cicero said, wiping a tear from his eye. “Yes, Cicero is happy he found you and gets to bring you back to health. A true honour, it is!”
“...Sure.” I replied lamely, smiling weakly at his beaming expression.
Was I someone… important? I could only think of that as the reason why he seemed so amused by my thanks.
Cicero hummed to himself, adjusting my covers momentarily, and I bit my lip as he moved to leave.
“Um— Cicero?”
“Yes, dearest friend of Cicero’s?” He replied immediately, turning back around so quickly it made my head spin.
“I’m— I’m sorry, I… really hate blankets over my feet,” I murmured, sheepishly looking away. “...I can’t really move, could you….?”
“Oh! Oh yes!” Cicero perked up, immediately adjusting the blanket to curl over my feet. I felt immediate relief and sunk into the bed fully, unwound from the growing tension along my spine.
“Thank you,” I murmured again, suffused with gratitude.
“Of course, of course! Anything for Cicero’s dearest friend!” He replied, clapping his hands together once more. “He will be off to gather you the heartiest of soups! Be back in a jiffy!”
I watched him scurry out once more, closing the door behind him, and taking the light from the exterior with him.
Ladened in the darkness, with no window to see the outside, my eyes felt more open than they had before.
…There was a presence here.
Here?
Nearby?
Somewhere.
Waiting. Watching. Watching and waiting.
I looked around, swallowing thickly as the anxiety curled in my chest. I hated this. I hated whatever this was. The lights— the sconces and candles— were not enough to pierce the veil of darkness left in Cicero’s wake.
Where was I?
Cicero Loves You, Listener!
TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
This was going to be… rough. To adjust to.
Something inside my stomach wanted to puke at the thought of being in a den of murderers, but I felt like my hands weren’t clean either. I couldn’t remember if I was like them or not, so I wasn’t sure I had any right to judge.
Not only that, but the Night Mother chose me. That clearly had to account for something, regarding my life. Right?
Either way, I was definitely treated like an outsider by the rest of the ‘family’ despite my supposed position. Only two people outside of Cicero really cared that I was Listener and addressed me as such— that being Babette, the vampire, and Festus Krex, the older man. Both were old enough to remember and adhere to the ‘old ways’ of the religious creed, but not everyone was so quick to fall back to the ancient ways.
Astrid especially. I could feel her cold, distrusting glare everywhere from the moment I stepped out of Mother’s sanctuary. She was clearly waiting for me to make a misstep, of any kind, so she had an excuse to take me out. Cicero warned me plenty enough to not linger near ‘the harlot’ for long.
It was mean, but hearing Cicero call her a harlot definitely made me snort. I had to ‘suffer’ through him trying to get me to do it repeatedly during meal time, much to the despair of my aching sides.
At the moment, I was seated next to Gabrielle as she stitched the last threads into the cloth of my new uniform. I was to match the others in their red and black colour scheme. Something inside felt fond at the colour duality— maybe I’d worn this before? Did I used to belong to another sanctuary?
Those three men in my dreams certainly didn’t wear the colours or anything regarding the family’s design…
I’d dreamt of them repeatedly since the first time. Flickers in time that didn’t really make sense, feelings and emotions I couldn’t really grasp. I think past me was infatuated with them, to some degree. Or she just held a lot of love for them in her heart.
Would they like this new me? Did they still exist?
Perhaps I could ask Night Mother where they were…
“You’re very quiet.” Gabrielle said suddenly, startling me from my thoughts. Curiously, I looked up to her in question, and she smiled. “Sorry. I suppose I was expecting another one like Cicero— er, the Keeper. Loud.”
“I can be.” I said, slowly shrugging. “But I feel like I’ll be threatened with another knife if I am.”
Gabriella laughs, a tinkling sort of sound leaking from her lips. “I think you might be right. I do apologize for it. I for one am glad we have another woman. It’s nice to have some company.”
I smile, feeling assured by her comment. It didn’t feel like she had any ulterior motives to tack on either. Just genuine want for camaraderie.
“Have you been recovering well, under the Keeper’s care?” She asked curiously, eyes flicking back down to her work.
“Yes. Cicero is very… attentive.” I settled on, glancing at where he was in the sanctuary. He was tending to Mother right now, oiling her preserved body.
I didn’t envy the task, I’ll be honest. Not to be disrespectful in any way. But it was… mildly unsettling, as was everything in regards to this guild.
“Attentive is a word for it.” Gabriella huffed quietly. “Just say the word if you need a hand, okay? I don’t mind at all.”
“Thank you. I might take you up on that.” I nodded. “I’ve been feeling this sharp pain in my thigh for a while, and I worry something isn’t healing right.”
“Oh! I’ll see to it after this.” Gabriella said, nodding firmly.
“Thank you.” I murmured, settling my back against the rough chair. It was nice to have a companion other than Cicero. You could only talk about the same five things so many times before it became tiring.
Gabriella’s smile widened as she swiftly stitched the pants in her lap. “Cicero said you were a polite one. I can only wonder how long it’ll last here.”
“Pardon?” I asked, confused. “...Does no one thank anyone here?”
“Well, of course we thank each other,” Gabriella admits, looking a bit sheepish. “But… no offense to you or your position, Listener, but you are… new.”
Ah.
“I’m sorry you all get third degree.” I offer simply, dipping my head respectfully. “While I’m still… lightly disquieted about the tasks that are given, I’m sure they aren’t given without thought. Otherwise, we’d just be killing anyone and everyone, wouldn’t we?”
“As much as Sithis might enjoy having so many souls brought to him in the Void, if everyone were to die, no one would be alive to kill.” Gabriella remarked dryly. “So, yes, you’re right on that one.”
“And…” I pause, looking around to make sure no one would hear, sheepishly glancing back at the elven woman. “...Everyone does their best to remain respectful of the dead, right?”
“Well… I cannot attest to everyone,” Gabriella admits, but gives a small shrug. “I certainly try to. Death is but the time to sleep forever, in the Void, after all. I assure that everyone has a good rest when it’s their time.”
“That’s all I can hope for.” I murmured, squeezing my shorts tightly. “Death isn’t something that should be taken lightly. Murder isn’t to be done lightly. I… I don’t remember what I’ve done, but I don’t feel clean. But I do know I had to have had my reasons. Regardless of the hefty price that was paid.”
Gabriella turns to me and stares deeply into my eyes. I do my best to maintain the eye contact, letting her search for whatever she wished.
“...How strange for the Night Mother to choose someone so… estranged to killing.” She eventually murmured, eyes tight. “One would think she would settle on a serial murderer. Or someone with the taste for blood.”
“Maybe she looks for restraint.” I offer. “You said it yourself, with everyone dead, there’s no one alive to kill.”
She hummed, keeping her stare for a few moments longer, before turning to the clothes on her lap once more. With a flourish, she tightens the thread and cuts the remaining string off, smoothing the cloth down.
“It’s done. Shall we adjourn to your room to see about your leg?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
She chuckled again, standing tall and helping me stand with a smile across her lips. “Ever so polite, Listener.”
“As if you’ve been nothing but kind yourself.” I countered with a grin, enjoying her laughter that followed.
“I wonder.”
I followed after Gabriella, slow as I was with a limp in my gait, and entered into the sanctuary with a wave to Cicero.
“Hello Keeper.” Gabriella greeted cooly.
“Hello, hello! And hello to you, sweet Listener!” Cicero said, smiling wide. “Come to pay respects to the Night Mother?”
“Maybe after Gabriella checks my leg,” I offered, giving him a weaker smile in return. “It’s been burning a lot lately, and I’ve been worried—”
Cicero gasped, looking down right appalled. “And you have not mentioned this to Cicero? Your dutiful, helpful, dearest Cicero?!”
I shrunk slightly, feeling properly admonished, and forced myself not to scuff my foot. “I… feel more at ease with a woman checking, Cicero. No offense to you or your capabilities at all. I just…”
Cicero stared heavily before letting out a dramatic sigh and turned back to the Night Mother. “Woe is me, dearest Mother! If only I had been born a woman, so as to take proper care of our dearest Listener! Woe, I say!”
I smiled wider, feeling a little more at ease at his goofy speech. “It’s just my leg, Cicero. You’ve helped with literally everything else, and I’m very grateful. I don’t want to keep having to lean on your kindness though.”
“So the Listener keeps saying.” Cicero sighed again, wiping his hands on a dry rag. “Perhaps the Listener should be the Keeper instead with how often she keeps poor Cicero.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I would be a poor Keeper indeed. That job is yours, hon. You do a great job of it, and I know Mother is grateful for your efforts.”
“She is?!” Cicero squawked, turning to me sharply. “Has she said? Has she? Oh please, dearest Listener! Tell poor Cicero what she has said!”
“Um…” I blink in surprise, but feel myself soften at his urgency. He’s been without her voice and as her Keeper for so long. Like any child, he’d long to hear her praise…
“My dearest Keeper… though he longs to hear my voice, it does not belong to him. He is the Keeper after all.” Mother’s voice rang in my mind, making me snap to her coffin. The subtle red… “His loyalty, above all, brings his Dread Lord father and I the greatest of joy. As all of our children do.”
I smile, feeling my heart squeeze a bit. Reassured by this… matronly comfort that settled in my chest. It soothed an ancient ache I couldn’t recall. I’m not sure what, but it was definitely nice to hear the subtle compliment to myself.
“...She says you’re a wonderful, loyal Keeper. And that she and Father are proud of you.” I said softly, finally turning my eyes to see Cicero blinking back tears with a fervent relieving grief. A mixture of emotions swirling on his face as his hands clenched tightly by his sides, scrunching up the rag in his right hand.
I felt the urge to go to him. I wasn’t sure if it was Mother’s prodding, or a sense of my old self ushering me, but I strode forward and brought him into a tight hug, rubbing his back softly.
“Silence has ended, my Brother…”
“Welcome home.”
Cicero Loves You, Listener! TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
I peeked out of the door carefully, wincing as the bright light burned my eyes.
I’d been locked in this room for so long, I’d forgotten what anything brighter than a few candles was like. Not that my memory could remember much in the first place, but that was besides the point.
Cicero hadn’t returned as promised, and I was getting antsy. I needed answers about that voice, and… she wanted me to talk to him.
‘Darkness rises when silence dies.’ I repeated in my mind, stepping through the doorway slowly. It felt like I was breaking a rule, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I was going crazy in the emptiness. ‘Darkness rises when silence—!’
“Eep!”
I jolted, startled beyond belief as a giant fucking man stepped from around the corner in front of me. He didn’t even flinch as he stopped walking, merely looking down at me from his nose with a sneer and a glare.
“Who the hell are you, ham hock?”
“H-ham hock?” I echoed, feeling my body shaking endlessly in fright. I hadn’t heard him approaching at all! He was huge!
“Yeah. You look like a bite sized snack.” He huffed, leaning down to sniff me?!
I flinched back, stumbling backwards against the closed door behind me, and clutched the front of my shirt. “Did you just smell me?”
“Yeah.” He stood tall once more, tilting his head. “You must be the pet that jester brought in. Was wondering whose blood it was I smelled.”
“Smelled—” I shook my head, feeling incredibly confused and in slight pain as my left eye started blurring and burning like crazy. “What?”
“You must’ve hit your head hard.” He snorted. “At the very least, I know you aren’t much of a threat. Shaking worse than a leaf in a storm.”
“I’m—!”
“What’s going on here?” A beautiful woman rounded the corner, piercing blue eyes and blonde hair like my own. A large juxtaposition to the white haired, scruffy man in front of me, but no less intimidating as she fixed me with her own glare. “Who are you?”
“Allora,” I said quickly, feeling my pulse thumping aggressively in my throat. “I-I’m just… I was just looking for Cicero. Are you his family?”
A red head, a giant man, and a beautiful woman. What an interesting combination.
The woman raised an eyebrow and looked me up and down slowly. It felt like she was undressing me, but not in any sexual manner, more… assessing me.
“So you’re what he was hiding in there for so long.” She drawled, crossing her arms. “What exactly has he told you?”
“Not much, really.” I admit, shaking my head. “That there are about nine of you, ten including someone’s pet. The religion you guys share, the tenets… that sort of thing. But not really in depth?”
There was a heavy silence that followed, and I felt myself panicking that I inadvertently got him in trouble. But at the same time, he hadn’t mentioned me at all?
That was incredibly suspicious. I needed to know what was going on.
“Cicero said he found me nearby, injured and unconscious.” I continued after neither of them said anything. “I’ve been recovering in there for about two weeks now. I think. I don’t… I don’t remember anything. I could barely remember my own name.”
“How convenient,” the man huffed. “We supposed to just believe that?”
“I-I don’t know how to prove it to you,” I said, shrugging uselessly. “Please, if I could just find Cicero—”
“And what do you need him for that you can’t talk to us about?” The woman interrupted me, making me flinch.
“I-I…”
‘They’re going to think I’m fucking crazy.’ I thought to myself, glancing to the side with a wince.
“If you so much as think of lying to me right now, you’re going to regret it.” The woman snarled, stalking forward to push me against the door.
“N-no, wait! I’m not— I wasn’t going to lie!” I squeaked out, gasping at the sight of a blade being pulled from her waist. “Pl-please—!”
“What is going on? Hm?”
I breathed a sigh of relief despite the position I was in as I looked up to see Cicero at the doorway, holding a plate of sweets. He may look incredibly angry despite his smile, but a familiar face was better than a face that was threatening me with a knife.
“Cicero!” I called out, breath hitching as the knife pressed against my throat more.
“Have you been sharing things with outsiders, Keeper?” The woman mocked, eyes never having left my face.
“Certainly not! Cicero would never betray the Night Mother so!” Cicero answered back, voice strangely tight despite his overall happy tone. “However, if you are to injure Miss Allora, you will!”
“What?” The woman asked incredulously, finally turning to the smaller man.
“Miss Allora, why are you out of bed?” Cicero asked instead, giving me a mocking pout. “Cicero knows you were eager to get up and about, but he cannot protect you if you don’t remain close!”
“Y-you were late, and I got worried, and—” I winced as the blade slipped against my neck, feeling blood trickling down. “And Mother spoke to me and told me to tell you darkness rises when silence dies!”
My heart was hammering in my chest a mile a minute as the three of them turned to me, wide eyed and slack jawed.
Cicero was the first to recover, skillfully hopping over and all but ripping the woman from me, gleefully jumping and clicking his heels. “Oh joyous day, joyous day! Cicero knew he heard you say you heard her before! Oh happy days!”
I clutched my throat to staunch the blood, unable to keep upright as I slid down the door to the floor. I was glad he believed me. This ‘Mother’ said he would, but she was also a fucking voice in my head.
So you can never really know.
“You’re the Listener?” The woman spat, glaring at me with all she was worth.
“That’s— that’s what she said,” I shrugged, letting Cicero help me to my feet when I had feeling in them again. “I-I don’t really know what it means…”
“Dutiful Cicero will explain everything!” Cicero crowed, gently guiding me to a bench nearby. I hadn’t even really noticed the rest of this secluded chamber, and only just noticed an intricately styled coffin and mural behind it.
I was sat down, and Cicero placed the plate of food next to me before gathering some salvant from his pocket. He moved my hand from my throat, tsking all the while under his breath about ‘harlots not knowing their place’, spreading the cold salve over my wound.
It tingled, but did feel better afterwards.
“Thank you,” I murmured softly.
“Dutiful Cicero is always here to help his Listener!” Cicero chirped as he pulled away. “He is so very sorry for being pulled away for so long, but he needed to find proper sustenance for himself and you! That, and he was hoping Mother would talk to you if he was not around!”
“Can you not hear her?” I asked, frowning.
He laughed. It wasn’t like his usual ones, though it was a very well practiced one. It felt slightly strained.
“Oho, Listener is very funny! But no! Cicero is the Keeper! He… keeps!” He claps his hands before motioning to the plate. “But Cicero can explain that another time, please, eat! You need to regain your strength!”
“By Sithis, you will explain what is going on, fool,” the woman spat out, snarling at Cicero with clenched hands. “How in Oblivion is she the Listener? And you just happened to find her?”
As angry as I felt on his behalf for the attitude, Cicero seemed nonplussed.
“Oh Cicero had a feeling Miss Allora was our beloved Listener for some time!” Cicero explained, grinning wide. “She was so kind, so kind! Helped poor Cicero along the roadside when that awful Loreius family refused to help!”
Loreius?
“She had mentioned hearing something from the box that contained Mother’s coffin before she left! Cicero was certain of it!” He clapped and jangled as he danced around.
A flicker of a memory came to mind. The blue sky, covered with clouds. A nearby farm. A giant wagon, a wheel broken.
A familiar jester…
I flinched as a hand came to my face, watching in a daze as Cicero pulled back his glove from my upper lip to show blood.
I gasped, covering my nose and pinching it, leaning forward to stop the blood flow from getting too bad.
“Are you all right Listener? Tell Cicero what is wrong so he can help!”
I shook my head lightly, feeling incredibly dizzy and light headed all at once. Was it because of the memories? Or stress? I couldn’t tell anymore.
I just felt myself slip forward into that listless void that knew me very well by now…
Cicero Loves You, Listener! TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route
~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~
Two weeks, I was up on my feet and relearning how to walk and pick things up carefully. My body had weakened considerably after my injuries and constant bed rest, so I needed to work back up to whatever previous strength I had.
Problem was, Cicero didn’t really want me moving too much.
“Miss Allora should not strain herself so much! She has been through so much— let dutiful Cicero gather whatever she needs!” He would say after a mere five minutes of me walking around the room, ushering me back to bed not long after.
Granted, I was sweating and breathing heavily by that point, but regardless; it felt suffocating.
“I don’t want to take up your space forever,” I argued softly, allowing him to herd me back under the covers.
“Tut, tut! Miss Allora just needs to focus on herself.” Cicero argued, wagging a finger in the air. “Cicero will take care of everything until she is better.”
“But—”
“No butts! Dutiful Cicero does not mind in the slightest!” He said, standing tall and clapping his hands together. “He will introduce you to the rest of the family soon enough!”
“Right, you mention they’re normally working,” I nodded idly. “What is it they do? If you can talk about it.”
“Oh, they dole out duties between one another for the sake of Mother!” Cicero explains, swaying on his heels. “We take care of pesky, pesky individuals who need to go!”
Go…?
“Like…” I wracked my head for the word, closing my eyes momentarily. “...Mercenaries?”
“Oho! Very close, certainly close.” Cicero nodded.
When he didn’t elaborate, I looked away slowly, unsure if I should proceed further, or if it was meant to remain vague.
“How many people are in your family?” I asked instead.
“Hmm, including Mother and Cicero?” He taps his lower lip, humming in thought. “Oh about nine? Ten if you include the unchild’s pet.”
“‘Unchild’…?” I furrowed my eyebrows, confused.
“Ah! Yes, yes, all in due time!” Cicero patted my head again. “Rest until you feel your best! That’s what Cicero says!”
“Are you going?” I asked, frowning. It was really lonely whenever he left. I wasn’t sure if that was his goal, but I couldn’t really help it if I was playing into his hand. He was the only company I had.
The darkness had been getting louder when I was alone lately. It felt like something was trying to talk to me.
“Does Miss Allora not like being alone?” Cicero asked, surprised. “Silly Allora, Cicero will not be gone for long!”
“...Okay.” I murmured, scrunching the blanket in my hands. I couldn’t keep him from his duties, or his mother. It’d be cruel.
There was a moment where Cicero just watched me before his hand trailed from the top of my head to my cheek, making me blink and look up at him.
“You are safe here.” He assured me quietly. Far quieter than he had ever spoken. And there was that… look in his eyes again. “This place can be your home. Mother wants you to stay. She wants to talk to you. Have no worries. Cicero will keep you safe.”
I could only stare at him as he slowly pulled away and smiled, falling back into his more happy-go-lucky persona and skipped out of the room with a wave.
What in the hell did that mean…?
The darkness was thicker the moment Cicero left me. The candles and sconces flickered dangerously, as if there was a heavy wind, but despite the room falling more and more frigid, the air was still.
There was something here.
“Wh-who’s there…?” I eked out, trembling underneath the blankets.
“...My Child… my sweet Child…”
I flinched, whipping my head around to find the owner of the voice, but I couldn’t see anything. There was just endless darkness.
“Fear not, my sweet Child… I am here to aid you…”