Oct 1, 2017
[ text ] I think I’m going to sing to everyone!
[ text ] And everyone will love it.
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[ text ] I think I’m going to sing to everyone!
[ text ] And everyone will love it.
[ text ] I feel like I have a watermelon strapped to me. There’s no way I was about to hit the gym. 😳 I want to hold them! I think you should sing to them tonight!
[ text ] You have two babies inside of you so that makes sense. I think you should sing to them tonight. I think you should stop trying to get me to sing.
[ text ] I miss working out. And I certainly wouldn’t think you’re an asshole because I’d be in the same boat; let me tell you. A new vagina sounds like a miracle face lift kind of procedure. I just want our babies!
[ text ] You’ll be able to work out again soon! Technically, you never had to stop working out. You’ve had our babies! I want them! I want to be able to hold them and feel them!
[ text ] Hiking in a sun dress; I suppose if done worse! And that’s just gross. There are other ways for sex to happen! Everything’s just going to be wrecked after these babies arrive. I’m mourning the loss already.
[ text ]: We wont actually go hiking. Walking is good for you so we’ll go down an easy trail then when we get home you can bounce on the yoga ball while I work out. We’re not having sex, Emblott. Don’t push the subject because it will make me sound like an asshole, please? It will be wrecked and put back together. So you’ll get a brand new vagina and two beautiful babies out of the deal.
[ text ] All I gathered from that is I’m going to have to put pants on! But ugh that sounds so good, and you’re amazing. We can still have sex, though. All the sex.
[ text ] Just throw on a sundress! No pants are needed. I’m not having sex with you when we’re trying to get you to go into labor, Emblott. I love you but I draw the line there. I don’t need your water breaking on my face.
[ text ] Katherine, what if I’m pregnant forever? What if they decide they like where they are and try to stay? I’m just really hungry right now, and I’m not putting pants on again until I have to leave the house... which better not be forever.
[ text ] You wont be pregnant forever! I’m going to make eggplant parmesan for dinner and then we’re going for a hike. I would say we could have sex but I’m pretty sure that only works with men... I don’t have sperm to shoot into you.
[ text ] Are you calling me crazy? Of course they exist! (And I was joking about the crazy part; don't answer that.)
[ text ] Where do they exist? I need to see these bad boys for myself!
[ text ] NO. Peeps are gross. These things are stuffed with like peanut butter and chocolate and delicious, and I want them.
[ text ] Are you sure these things exist? I’ve never seen them before.