#textsnores

[starsnores]

yqy getting selective memory loss bc (insert reason here) but he doesn't remember that sj is mad at him or that their relationship is awful now or the guilt that he has about the whole thing so he just starts treating sj like how he remembers, scolding him and managing him and pacifying him in ways that tend to be childish and patronizing bc that's his only frame of reference for how to interact with sj (though it shifts and develops quickly as yqy re-establishes his relationship with sj) and it's so shocking to him at first that it starts working just from the sheer audacity of it. so much affection freely given, without that politely distant affect yqy tended to put on, and yqy doesn't stop when he snaps at him. It's how he remembers yqy's care and it hurts and he's greedy for more and he feels like when yqy remembers he'll remember how much better it was without him and how much he made things worse by being there. the vaguely paternal vibe makes everyone confused and what amounts to accidental love bombing leaves sj feeling and acting unmoored and a bit shy which is even more confusing to watch.

[starsnores]

Anyway. i like to imagine that sj's fantasies are all "qi-ge cant help himself" or "qi-ge needs to punish xiao-jiu" and in reality qi-ge would rather die.

[starsnores]

thinking again about that "yqy almost dies saving sj and that almost fixes things" idea. lqg being close enough in the immediate aftermath to hear sj panic and call yqy gege. sj deciding he is the arbiter of who gets to see yqy while he's healing, which is almost no one (mqf is on thin ice) and everybody hates it but yqy is smitten (and incredibly nostalgic)

[starsnores]

Qijiu but yqys soul bond with his sword goes both ways. Yqy is incapacitated on a mission and sj has to hold onto his sword out of necessity and it starts doong the spiritual sword equivilant of purring like a cat. Xuan su likes sj more then yqy basically.

[starsnores]

yqy constant wet dreams about sj calling him gege and rolling around in his bed naked and working hard to distract/punish himself vs sj having ONE dream where yqy holds him and needing to take the day off

[starsnores]

Yqy and sj fighting bc they've both reached their limits but yqy sees sj's bottom lip wobble in that way it did when he was little before he cried and he almost cant believe what's happening when the tears start falling.

[starsnores]

Thinking about the sj getting yqy in a bath thing... They've made up but things are Platonic (for the most part. There is Tension but yqy is ignoring it and sj cant read it as anything other than his general background unease). sj wants to do something for yqy and he's good at grooming and making himself presentable and they helped each other out with this all the time as kids (he's misremembering somewhat, yqy was the one helping sj get dressed, putting his hair up, and helping him stay as clean as they could, sj's help wasn't really Needed just something yqy let him do).

so yqy is in a bath in low candle lighting while sj fusses and frustrates himself but he's not even bothered bc he's too focused on the way sj's hair curls on his neck in the steam. sj frustrated bc that's his qi-ge (still, despite everything, is tentatively allowing himself to want that again) and he's trying to fight back this nervousness he doesn't understand. yqy just wants to kiss him. a slow syrupy sort of atmosphere but sj is kind of jittery, can't tell the difference between fear and attraction.

[starsnores]

got a comment on a drawing a while ago that ming fan was also a shizun fucker and ive been thinking about it recently. proud of how much he knows about his shizun's personal life (thinks he knows more than even the sect leader...) and of how close he's allowed to be to him. knows he eats like a bird and enjoys sweets. his favorite books and musical pieces. his preferred apothecary. it's not spying if he watches him while taking care of his personal garden. he's just. admiring how refined and elegant his shizun is. nothing untoward at all.