Ooh. First Oberyn headcannon. Nice 😏
We all know that Elia's death haunts him. But I also think that what happened with Elia greatly impacted how Oberyn treats his partners, whether be the people he loves or the people he just lusts for. For one thing, he's a consent king. He will tease and flirt with you, but he'd never actually have sex with you until you say "yes." I may mention this is an upcoming chapter, but this is especially the case with Y/N, because at this point in the story, Oberyn assumes she has never done anything sexual in her life.
But also, he saw how Elia was cast aside by Rhaegar, and he has remained determined to treat his partners right. Oberyn loves to praise his partners in bed and give them words of affirmation out of bed. And when he does unknowingly neglect his partners, he feels an immense amount of guilt for it.
'Cause like I said, all of this stems from how his sister was treated. He is determined to never let a man or woman suffer like she did.
Honestly, writing this makes me so excited for when Oberyn and Y/N become a couple.
Thank you for asking this. If you'd like, y'all can send me a head canon ask for Y/N or any of the characters and I'd be happy to answer: