#th it

[strangesigils]

I was low balling $180 cause it costs me just over $300 for a non-natural color at a professional place (with bleaching)

High key sounds like your current hair place is ripping you off tbh, unless you have super long thick hair m8.

[obstinaterixatrix]

thinking about the post re: aromanticism & gender/womanhood, it’s like... I get the vibe a lot of women feel some kind of gender/body dysphoria because the cultural definition of women is based heavily on patriarchal cis/heterosexist standards y’know? there’s that one post I can’t find right now about like, women being socialized to hate their bodies to the point that there’s a pretty ubiquitous female-specific fantasy of Becoming The Void (& obviously this extends beyond women, but like, the intersection of womanhood and The Romance Of Transcending Your Physical Form is pretty interesting).

anyway lots of people have talked to death about how the definition for male coded language is a lot more loose & all encompassing than female coded language, in that male coded terminology can be gender neutral while female coded language always has a feminine connotation. literally anyone can be a dude. I’ve called my mom dude. (but also if someone asks not to be associated with male coded language at all You Better Respect That).

the thing is everyone probably has slightly different parameters for defining ‘woman’ but the thing is, even though I can see ‘woman’ as a group of people I’m aligned with, the personal definition for it has so many... qualifiers? that it’s actually pretty difficult for me to automatically think of individuals as ‘women’? a ‘woman’ is older than a girl (and it’s condescending to refer to a ‘woman’ as a ‘girl’). so there’s age. but for me there’s also connotation of competence that comes with calling someone a woman.

a woman (in terms of cultural conceptualization) is someone who can take care of others, and while the definition of ‘take care of others’ has kind of expanded to include homemakers and businesswomen, it’s an expectation I, personally, can’t apply to myself. there’s the competence, sure, but also ‘taking care of others’ tends to have the implication of like. children or significant others. like in terms of literal definition and also the human experience, of course there are women who wear pajamas all day and listlessly roll on the floor because that’s what she feels like doing, but that’s not exactly encompassed in the idea of ‘woman’ y’know? a guy could do that, a dude could do that, even a man could do that without any further consideration, but for me (AND FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE I THINK?) the definition of ‘woman’ goes beyond ‘older female’ so it takes almost more thought & effort to consider that action and apply the label of ‘woman’ to that individual because that’s not really in the schema for ‘woman’. which also goes into like, standards of conduct for ‘men’ vs ‘women’ and how male being the default affords them more humanization (’universal average everyman’ stories *have* to be men otherwise it’s not universal’) etc etc whatever. like, maybe there’s an age cutoff, maybe past the age of like... 50 it’s easier to see ‘women’ as ‘women’ without all these cultural considerations I’ll let you know in 25 years.

and there’s all that even without considering how romance is embedded into the cultural identity of women, like. okay I need to streamline this a bit. 1) women being defined in terms of objects for the consumption of cisgender/heterosexual men (No Thanks), 2) romantic/sexual experience as a socialized Major Event Flag for womanhood (this is how you ‘become a woman’) (men experience as well to some extent but has different connotations/contexts/etc). it makes a lot of sense for gender and sexuality to be tangled up so much because as a social construct gender tends to be defined in terms of the population in power (patriarchal cis/heterosexist stuff) so of course there’s a ton of. social. cultural. linguistic nuance to gendered language.

there’s a bunch of folks who feel uncomfortable when they’re referred to as ‘female’ (as there’s a bunch of guys who use it as a clinical term to dehumanize the women they’re talking about) but I feel less chafed under the label of ‘female’ than I do under the label of ‘woman’ because it’s more impersonal. I see myself as cis but it’s just like... ‘female’ yeah that’s a factual assessment for me, ‘girl’ not really unless you’re like 80 years old because in THAT case everyone’s a kid to you so it’s not condescending unless you’re a bastard about it, ‘gal’ definitely the most loosely-defined female coded term so honestly I love it, ‘dudette’ sure that works I guess, ‘lady’ I actually use this really casually so even though ‘ladylike’ has A Certain Connotation ‘lady’ doesn’t have that for me so I’m game, ‘doll’ if a man ever called me this I’d be filled with murderous rage. but like. ‘woman’ I’m more of...... ‘womeeehhhhhh’ than ‘woman’. and when people refer to me as a ‘woman’ it gets my hackles raised. not because of gender stuff, because of gendered expectation stuff.

[jizzandpissandshitandcum]

i ordered overwatch and it finally came ajhsjlfgaslhf im so fucking excited to finally play the game oh boy AAAAAAAA

[tabiswife]

I hate anxiety with an extreme passion like rn I want and need a job but the anxiety that comes along with it is damn near crippling but I am finally gathering the courage to go get help in another month or so when I have the time I want to live and find ways not to be so hindered by my anxiety