#that's correct!

[vampirebeverage]

I AM DRINKING MY BOTTLE WATER

last few days have been big fatigue in-bed days and so now i finally got my big water bottle, rinsed it out, and also washed my big straw. i put about 1/4 pineapple juice in and 3/4 water in my water bottle, and a couple squeezes of lemon juice because I like it acidic. also adding the TINIEST amount of salt, not enough to make it taste gross! for my electrolytes, because electrolytes and vitamin c are what will help me feel better, and also hydrating will help.

fellow disabled bitches! be you spoonies, chronic-fatigue and chronic-pain sufferers, depresseds, and etcetera... (and even if you are not disabled) find a little drink that works for you, that tastes good to encourage you to get the fluids you need along with some vitamins and minerals for your body. and if you have a little drink that works for you, go and make some and drink it. it will probably help. even if it doesn’t help, at least it will taste good and you will have a fun little beverage to accompany you.

im gonna make up a big jar of fresh-ginger tea with turmeric and cinnamon for tomorrow (will be adding honey and apple cider vinegar). can be enjoyed hot or cold and boosts my immune system. also? tastes fucking good.

from your local disabled: Have A Beverage Today~

[fresh-coriander]

Well! It’s no longer Tuesday, and that’s a fact that we’re at least 68% certain about! And because it’s no longer Tuesday, sales of fresh coriander have been resumed, which means that you can buy some again. Would you like to do that? Now you can! It’s fresh coriander, and it’s very good at being food that you chop up into small bits and put on salads or hummusi.

[fresh-coriander]

The Kraken! It's everyone's favourite gigantic cephalopod that lives deep in the ocean and drags ships to their doom. On several occasions the Kraken has been sighted by sailors, who have described it as 'big', 'wet', 'very big', 'lots of tentacles', 'wet like a sponge', 'large and wet', 'not very nice', 'tentacley', 'bad', 'very wet' and 'large'. But do you know what will make your eventual encounter with the Kraken better? That's right, it's fresh coriander! Having some nice fresh coriander to hand whilst your ship is being attacked by the Kraken will give you that extra boost of strength and confidence you need to achieve your goal of not being eaten by the Kraken. Feeding some fresh coriander to the Kraken might even persuade it to not doom you and your fellow sailors to a watery grave, because it'll be so grateful for being given such a good and nice herb that it will leave you alone. So don't wait for the latter fire - get some fresh coriander from us today! It's on sale.

[fresh-coriander]

Astatine! It's everyone's favourite radioactive element with the atomic number of 85. Astatine is the rarest natural element on the Earth's crust, so if you find some, great! Good for you, that's a really good find. If you eat astatine then your insides will become radioactive too, which will mean that you will either die or gain some form of superpowers, neither of which are legal under the Geneva convention. But do you know what will make your astatine even better? That's right, it's fresh coriander! Sprinkling some diced fresh coriander on your astatine will neutralise the radioactivity, and astatine can then be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet. Presenting your discovery of edible astatine to the National Chemistry Association, which is a thing that exists, might also mean that you get nominated for a Nobel prize, which would be a real boost to your CV. So what are you waiting for? Get some fresh coriander today and you, too, could join the ranks of Harvey Winklevorth and Gertrude von Hepple-Schtrang in the Nobel prize hall of fame. It's on sale now, and don't forget to get some before Tuesday!

[fresh-coriander]

Think of a number between one and a hundred. Now double it. Now subtract eight. Now divide it by six. Now add twenty. Now switch the first and last digits over. If your number is now a multiple of five, then you've qualified for our Fresh Coriander Mathematicians Program! All you have to do is come into our offices and tell us your number (please note that we will be using a lie detector to verify your claim, and if it is found to be false then you will be charged with perjury), and you'll be able to join our team of budding mathematicians! You'll be using your collective brainpower to calculate new and exciting ways to grow fresh coriander, so there can be no higher calling than this! We look forward to receiving your application and to working with you in the future.

[fresh-coriander]

Food is the great big atom lumps that we put into our throats to stop us from turning back into dirt. We all eat it, and we all like to eat it, and that's because it's nice. But what can you put with your food so it doesn't taste of boring normal things like bread or cow juice? The answer is herbs, and what better herb to put on your food than fresh coriander! Yes, fresh coriander is the best herb, and that's because of its unique flavour and the delicate texture of its many leaves, which it has. And the best thing is that you can get some from us right now, and today! Just send your order to us and you, too, can enjoy the benefits of a good bit of fresh coriander, and the only thing you will have to give up is a relatively minor proportion of your personal finances. So purchase some from us now! It's on sale.

[fresh-coriander]

Think about the last time you had a salad. What was inside it? Lettuce? Bread? Hawkflesh? Moon Juice? Aberystwyth? A Blu-ray disc of The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) dir. Martin Scorsese? Whatever was in the salad that you consumed with your eyes, nose, mouth, and internal organs, we can guarantee that the next salad you do that to will be better with our fresh coriander! Get some from us today and you can have a salad that tastes of both other items and fresh coriander too! Yes! Excellent.