Aug 2, 2013
I need you so much right now, but you're just not here anymore...
seen from United States
seen from Norway
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Norway
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Norway
seen from Italy
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Norway
seen from Italy
seen from Norway
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Norway
seen from China
I need you so much right now, but you're just not here anymore...
I spoke to Kyle for 30 minutes or so today. He's with Trevor now. And they're really happy together. He told me to try and live on as normal as possible. I'm going to work tonight. I'm really scared of a breakdown there. I hope I'm alright. I'm going to just keep in mind that he's watching.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm feeling much better. I cried myself out for now I think. I cried harder than I ever have in my life for a few hours today and spoke to him. I made a vow to him that I would never hurt myself in his name. There would never be a scar on my body because of him because only people who hurt me leave scars, and he never hurt me once. He doesn't deserve that. He was nothing but perfect to me. Then I did gymnastics with Julie and it cheered me up a lot. I may upload videos of that for you to watch if you'd like. I'm actually smiling and laughing in them.
Kyle,
I can't believe you're gone. You were one of my best friends on here. Hell, you were one of my best friends period. You helped me through so many tough things. I mean, I told you things I never told anyone else. You listened. You told me not to give up. You told me to find joy in the little thinks "like a glass of lemonade or a piece of chocolate" and that true happiness would follow. I mean, you convinced me to stay. You were so amazing. And your girlfriend is such a lovely girl. You made me laugh so many times. You understood what it was like to put up a front during the day and completely break down at night. You were so nice. I will miss you. You were so strong. I admire you so much for voluntarily going to get help so you could get over your addiction. I'm sorry you left like this. Oh god this is terrible. Kyle, I know you'll be up in heaven watching all the people you helped. I won't do the things I told you anymore because I know you'd want better for me. I'm gonna miss you, but it'll be alright.
I would really really like you to be okay. But I'm going to accept whatever happens, is going to happen and there's no changing that. And I'm going to be happy for you. No matter what. And in the end, I just want to say I tried my best.
Darling please be alright. We're all very worried. I don't know what id do without you. Je t'aime