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It Takes Three

Notes: I’m so sorry this took so long (how long you ask? Oh, about five months) but here we are as promised with a ~monster~fic coming your way. I started writing this before Killer Frost disappeared in S4 so it does not comply with the whole “Killer Frost was there all along!!!” thing they’ve got going on.

As you will find out, this is as much a Killer Frost/Cisco story as it is Caitlin/Cisco, but it is not Killer Frost/Cisco/Caitlin. You’ll see.

Killervibe Fanfic Week 2018: Day 6- Established Relationship

It Takes Three

For all the fantastic reasons marrying Caitlin was by far the best decision Cisco made ever, there was one setback.

One condition that would be a dealbreaker for most men, but Cisco was selfish and stubborn, who did not dare let her go. Not even when times got rough and she tried to desperately change his mind. He responded with a ring and a vow to love her forever. It’s not like that would be very hard, he already had loved her for what felt like most of his life.

Still, there was that one thing.

More often than not, Cisco slept alone.

Cisco got used to it. He was sleeping, it’s not like he needed her in his dreams. It wasn’t every night he was alone in their queen sized bed, and it wasn’t like he was twiddling his thumbs staring at the ceiling worried she was seeing someone behind his back when she wasn’t there.

But that was the thing—She wasn’t there.

And although Cisco has maintained a stiff upper lip over the whole ordeal it still sucked. It sucked ass.

But it wasn’t her fault.

Waking up in the morning to find Caitlin passed out diagonally beside him with her hair damp, skin clammy and her lips still slightly tinged blue always left Cisco simultaneously sighing of relief and reaching into his drawer for hypertension meds.

The thought of Killer Frost in Caitlin’s body (no matter how strikingly un-Caitlin her white hair was) spending the nights doing god knows what clawed at his chest badly.

It reminded him of this whole other person they lived with who he doesn’t know. It troubled him, but what could he do? Caitlin was nearly just as in the dark as he.

With every day, as life married to Dr. Caitlin Ramon got better, Cisco’s apprehension on the lonely nights in their house grew worse.

Ultimately, it came down to this:

Killer Frost had Caitlin clutched in her cold hands and Cisco didn’t like to share.

They’ve been married for about six months when Cisco came up with a new idea.

Ironically, Caitlin fell asleep quickly. If you placed her in a bed and turned off the lights she’d be deep in REM before you could say goodnight. However, it was a mission in itself to get her to remember she needed to rest. Making Caitlin think it was her own idea was a battle and Cisco had to come up with new tactics that didn’t just involve sex to get her to go lay down nearly all the time.

This was good. It meant she’d be none the wiser to his plan.

“I think I’m going to sleep,” Cisco fake yawned on Day 1, padding over to where Caitlin was sitting at her home office to give her a goodnight kiss.

He glanced at her expectantly. “You coming?”

Caitlin looked up from her newest medical textbook, and frowned at the time. She already changed into her pyjamas after dinner, shorts and one of Cisco’s t-shirts, because they were much more comfortable than the blouse and pencil skirt outfit she’d been wearing since 6 AM.

“I didn’t realize it was so late,” Caitlin said softly, leaning forward to grant him his goodnight kiss.

That comment earned her a second peck, for she only said that exact phrase every other day.

Cisco grinned ruefully at her, “You’re adorable.”

Caitlin scrunched up her nose, flushing in pleased embarrassment. Reluctantly she closed her book, and followed him down the hall to bed. “Maybe I’ll get a few hours in tonight…” She said, “...before Killer Frost wakes up and takes over,” was heavily implied.

“Maybe,” Cisco said optimistically, although in truth he deemed it rather unlikely.

Cisco already calculated the odds of Caitlin staying herself all night based off her patterns for the last two weeks and concluded that there was only a two percent chance she didn’t Killer Frost.

Cisco settled into bed as the bathroom tap ran in their ensuite bathroom, Caitlin brushing her teeth. She emerged five minutes later, her hair braided loosely, and her face clean. Cisco watched amusedly as she picked out her outfit from their walk in closet for the next day. He answered her questions on whether or not she should go for the blue skirt or black pants. Once tomorrow’s outfit was perfectly laid out, Caitlin crawled into bed beside Cisco. She looked up at him and watched him inquisitively before she said, “Are you alright? You’re being very quiet.”

Cisco may’ve been showing too much of his game face. He reeled it in, softening his face and wrapping his arm around her waist. “Just tired,” he replied.

She blinked at him, then smiled sleepily, “Me too.” Cisco knew that. She was the tired one in this house.

“You know I love you, right?” And that set Cisco off kilter worse than those spinning teacups in Disneyland.

He played with the wisps of her brown hair that escaped her braid, “Of course,” he whispered, “Of course.”

Caitlin was off like a light before he could even reach to the left to switch off their bedside lamps.

He watched her with his heart in his throat. It was such a rare sight, seeing her sigh in her sleep, curling into his side. She was so beautiful and peaceful, and Cisco wished for one damned week they could stay together for once. He promised whatever came out of tonight, he wouldn’t leave Caitlin in the dark. He’d tell her about it all. She deserved to know as much as he did, if not more.

It only took ten minutes for Caitlin’s body temperature to coolen. Colder and colder until Cisco could no longer comfortably sit next to her and had to slip his arm away. It’s like the clock strikes twelve and the magic starts and Caitlin is Cisco’s very own Cinderella.

But that analogy wasn’t correct. It’s not ever that Caitlin has to race the clock and make it back home before she turns into an ice meta monster or anything, and Caitlin definitely wasn’t blessed with a fairy god mother or else she would’ve made an appearance by now.

The transformation only happens once Caitlin has officially gone to sleep for the night, and Killer Frost uses however much time left before Caitlin’s normal six-thirty wake up to use to her own advantage.

It was not a curse either, no matter how much Caitlin would grumble under her breath that it was.

This wasn’t magic. It wasn’t a fairytale. It was dark matter. This was real life.

To a reasonable extent, she enjoys her powers. If Caitlin were truly horrified by her abilities and thought she’d never gain some semblance of control, she would’ve drank the antidote serum Julian naively created for her all those years ago.

He scooted further towards his side of the bed, weary of being too close as Caitlin’s hair turned white and her exhalations came out visible and frosty.

Killer Frost during the day was so different than the aloof, mysterious woman who took over at night. KF during the day was almost a part of Team Flash, and in all honesty, she’s not that bad. She’s eager to help the team, never questions their authority or causes any fuss.

Cisco suspected she’s more Caitlin than Frost in those moments than she lets on.

Before Killer Frost’s icy eyes snap open, Cisco laid back down and pretended to be asleep. He watched Killer Frost gasp awake. She bolted upright in bed, threw one leg out of the blankets and shrugged off the sheets until they were spilling over onto the floor. She walked to their shared costume closet to pull out a blue jewel studded leather jacket, changed into something more riské, and then walked back to Caitlin’s nightstand where— To Cisco’s horror—she began prying off her wedding band and engagement ring.

Cisco remained deathly silent the last fifteen minutes, but that was something he had never seen Killer Frost do and it was making him breathe funny and his stomach hurt. If Caitlin had to coax Killer Frost out during a crisis, Killer Frost still wore the rings, she never snarked about them the way she did Caitlin’s pumps or lab coat.

“Do you really take off the rings every night you leave?” Cisco blurted before he could help himself.

Killer Frost quickly whipped her head towards him, startled. Her hand frozen over the other, mid yank.

Cisco remained in his spot, arms curled protectively around his pillow, not too proud of how small his voice sounded just then, but maintained heated eye contact nonetheless.

“Well, this is awkward,” she said, and she wasn’t wrong. In their combined two years of dating and six months of marriage Cisco never caught Killer Frost straight up leaving. Cisco usually got tired and slept through her transformation or was up late tinkering at Star Labs and missed it altogether. Other times, curiously enough always after they’ve been intimate, she wouldn’t switch at all.

Killer Frost’s fingers twitched at the ring again, but this time Cisco sat up, back leaning against their headboard and forced himself to sound steady.

“I said—“

“I’m not married to you,” Killer Frost interrupted, curtly.

“I think I am,” said Cisco pragmatically, cringing at what was to follow.

“No,” Killer Frost said carefully, “You’re not.”

Look. Cisco gets it. He does. They’ve been down this road a bazillion-gazillion times.

Caitlin cannot communicate with Killer Frost anymore and therefore she considers her as a separate entity who shares her body. The thing is, like it or not, they share a consciousness that Killer Frost makes painstakingly clear she’s blocking Caitlin from accessing. Block or no block that means Killer Frost is Caitlin, and Caitlin acknowledges that. Killer Frost does not.

Also known as: Stalemate.

Cisco began to list points on his fingers, “You appeared after Flashpoint, if I took a DNA sample of you right now, it would be identical to Caitlin’s. You are not your own separate person. You two can’t be defused like Ronnie or Jax and Stein. Whether you like it or not, you are a product of her, not the other way around.”

Killer Frost narrowed her eyes. “Don’t be cute.”

Cisco didn’t know what that meant.

“Who are you, then?” Cisco challenged, switching his tactics around. If he couldn’t convince her, then maybe he could get Killer Frost to admit to him instead, “To me?”

“We’re….Partners.”

“Ha!”

“Work partners,” She stressed. “We work together sometimes, live together sometimes. Think of me as a roommate, if it makes you feel better.”

“It doesn’t.”

Killer Frost shrugged.

“Does it bother you? Your body married to a man you don’t…” Cisco swallowed, “You don’t love?”

Killer Frost rolled her eyes, “Oh no, it doesn’t bother me at all, that’s not why I take off these rings on my left finger that don’t apply to me whatsoever or anything.”

She laughed, inhibited, and it sent a chill down Cisco’s spine. But even Killer Frost seemed to reconsider how insensitive that sounded, stopping at Cisco’s growing distraught.

“I’m sorry,” She said, “I really am.”

Cisco knew Killer Frost well enough to understand that wasn’t a lie.

“I love Caitlin. She’s my wife,” Cisco said, voice hushed but unwavering. He sat up straighter in his bed, sheets pooling around his hips. “She’s my everything to me. But you are her too. And I don’t know you the way I know her, I don’t know what you do and it’s killing me.”

“Tough, ” Killer Frost said as her eyes went steely, “I thought Caity made it clear to you years ago that no amount of bargaining will make me go away. Trust me, she tried it all.”

Caity. That was another thing that set him on edge. It was a sacred nickname, and Cisco did not think Killer Frost deserved to use it so freely. It was almost patronizing, the way she flung the nickname in his face, as if she knew Cisco would never dare use it and took advantage of the fact she could with no consequences. Nobody called Caitlin Caity but Ronnie. Caitlin was Cait.

“That’s not what I’m asking you to do. I just want to know you, outside fighting off metas, and your witty quips.”

“You like my quips?” Killer Frost smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Cisco chuckled lightly in disbelief that out of all he said that was what she teased out. “I don’t hate you KF.”

“That’s bullshit. You think I don’t remember? How you convinced Caity to try antidepressants for freaking dissociative personality disorder to keep me at bay for two weeks? I was trapped, it made me feel sick!”

“It was our honeymoon!”

“That doesn’t work. I am not a disease,” Killer Frost hissed.

“I know that now,” Cisco said. The meds made Caitlin sick too, even when she was herself. It wasn’t his best idea.

“I just want to make things better. I vowed to love her forever, you know? And like it or not that means you too.”

“Half of American marriages end in divorce,” Killer Frost jeered, ignoring Cisco’s last statement.

“Not this one. That means, if as you say, you can’t go away, you and I? We have to get along.”

Killer Frost scoffed, “How are you going to do that? Date me?” She laughed unkindly.

Cisco swallowed harshly, his throat bobbing as he dredged up the words, “Would that be so bad?”

Killer Frost laughed louder, toppling on top of their bed, holding her stomach as if she’d burst if she didn’t. She sighed delightedly, tilting her head up at the ceiling as she snorted ungracefully, wiping tears from her eyes until she turned sideways, saw Cisco’s serious expression and sobered immediately.

“Oh, you’re serious.”

Cisco blushed, staring at his hands.

“That’s cheating,” Killer Frost accused automatically with a smirk. “You wouldn’t do that to Caity, would you, now? We both know she’s got a jealousy streak.”

“That logic makes no sense. You have Caitlin’s memories. You have Caitlin’s body. You are Caitlin.”

“Shut up,” Killer Frost snapped, then looked at her watch. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Where?” Cisco pressed.

“Away from you, clearly.” Killer Frost made move to get up and walk away.

“I’ll come,” Cisco said, jumping out of bed.

“No, you won’t,” She said. “You’re going back to bed so Caity has her husband to wake up to in the morning. Clear?”

Her features darkened. “Or do I need to convince you?”

A whirl of frost began to form in her outstretched palm. It was a weak threat, but Cisco relented.

He didn’t think he’d even get this far with her in one night anyway.

He walked back to the bed, picked up the spilled sheets and rearranged them so he could slide under the covers. “Okay, okay. Can you just...Think about it? About letting me tag along once or twice?”

Killer Frost hummed, spinning on her heel to face Cisco once more, smiling slyly. Her eyes glinted with something wicked.

Cisco heard the warning sirens go off in his head but all he could do was sit stock-still as she slinked right up to him then placed her cold hand firmly high up his covered thigh.

“What makes you think you’re cut out for what I do?” She taunted, leaning in close. So close.

Cisco summoned all his strength not to close his eyes, and exhaled deeply as she pressed down harder.

Good Lord, she was making it difficult on purpose.

“Because you’re all bark,” he whispered back breathily. Two could play this game. He gave her his best bedroom eyes, “And no bite.”

Killer Frost’s pupils’ widened, turning amber for a fraction of a second then flickered back to artic blue. She retracted her hand from his leg as if burnt and left the room in a haste.

Cisco heard the click from their front door lock as he collapsed onto bed and groaned.

~.~

Caitlin was up the next morning before Cisco, all traces of any nighttime activity gone.

He didn’t know how she did it.

He shuffled out of bed robotically, scarfing down the toast and coffee he found Caitlin to have left for him at the kitchen table.

Caitlin appeared at the doorway, already dressed in her picked outfit from last night. “Good morning,” he said, around a mouthful of toast.

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Morning,” she replied, taking a seat across from him to pack her briefcase.

There was something about her relaxed stance as she shuffled files into separate folders that made his heart flip. Her hair pinned half up as she bent her head down over them, her heels tapping against their ceramic floor, how she appeared effortlessly gorgeous. It was classic Caitlin Snow In The Morning, a routine that Cisco never grew tired of, and could always quietly expect. It was refreshingly gratifying to wake up to on any day, but especially after nights alone.

Times twenty after last night.

“You look really nice today,” he told her.

“I hope so, you chose this skirt.”

Cisco emptied the last drops of coffee from his Back to the Future mug onto his tongue.

“I wasn’t talking about the skirt. Your hair like that, it really frames your beautiful face.”

Caitlin peeked at him from over her files, a bright flush covering her cheeks, “You don’t have to flirt copiously with me anymore you know. I married you. I’m not going anywhere.”

And thank Jesus for that.

“It’s still true,” Cisco insisted sincerely.

Caitlin paused organizing Mercury Labs prototypes into her folder to bend over and kiss his cheek. “Go take your shower,” she said affectionately.

He saluted her jokingly, making quick work of getting ready for work. He brushed his teeth as he waited for the shower water to warm up, then hopped in and made work of washing his hair.

He closed his eyes, humming along to a Shawn Mendes song stuck in his head.

Suddenly, the shower curtain yanked open, leaving him exposed.

Cisco jumped, “Dios!” he cried clutching a hand over his heart, then sighed with relief after he realized it was just Caitlin and that he wasn’t about to be murdered in his own bathtub.

“Hi,” She said, walking right in. She slid her fingers through his conditioned hair, smiling at his still slack-jawed face. “It’s just me.”

“You were just dressed,” Cisco pointed out stupidly, because why ask questions when your beautiful wife steps into your shower?

Caitlin bit her lip, “I was,” she murmured, sliding her hands down from his hair, past his neck and shoulders to wrap around his back. She kissed his chest sweetly, then looked at him, “And now I’m not. Is that okay?”

Cisco raised an eyebrow, definitely captivated. “Girl, It’s absolutely better than okay,” he said.

He tilted his head up to rinse off the remaining suds from his hair quickly, because if things were going this way, his hair was going to get in the way and burning conditioner in his eyes was not sexy. His happened to glance over at their clock hung unassuming on their bathroom wall and he stiffened immediately.

“Crap, no Caitlin, did you see the time? We gotta be at Star Labs in 20 minutes.”

Clearly Caitlin didn’t care.

“Oh, we’ll be there,” she said with a coy smile, “you’ll breach us there on time. You know I’m never late. Guess you better act quickly.”

He loved her. He kissed her in reply.

Caitlin placed her hand on his thigh, pressing her warm wet body against his.

The action had Cisco stumbling backwards, and Caitlin had to grab his arm to prevent him from a nasty slip.

It was the exact same move Killer Frost pulled last night.

The. Exact. Same. One.

“Woah!” She exclaimed, giggling. “Are you okay?”

“Caitlin. Wait. There’s something I need to tell you first.”

Caitlin protested weakly, “Tell me later. We were doing something.”

Cisco nudged her away gently. “It needs to be now.”

Caitlin wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to silence him. “Please, Cisco, just give me—“

“—It’s about Killer Frost. I confronted her last night.”

Caitlin froze, her smile vanishing from her face. “Oh,” she said.

“Do you remember it, at all?”

Caitlin dropped her hands. “No, you know I don’t.”

Right, well. They both retreated and it went quiet except for the heavy sound of water rushing by their ears.

“Why did you confront her?” She asked him eventually. She didn’t sound mad.

Cisco made a frustrated noise. He thought about Killer Frost removing the rings. He looked down quickly at her left hand. There they were. Where they belonged. He took her hand and squeezed it gently.

Did Caitlin know that Killer Frost took them off? Does Killer Frost wear them again before falling asleep? Or does Caitlin wake up repeatedly finding them on her nightstand and just slips them back on, resigned? Cisco’s itching to ask her, but doesn’t know how. He doesn’t want to upset her or himself either.

“I wanted to talk to her. I want to hang out with her.”

Caitlin gave him a weird look. “Okay…”

“You know she’s you, right? She’s you. She just refuses to believe it.”

“Yeah,” Caitlin’s eyes flickered to the shower drain, distracted by the knot of Cisco’s hair clogging it. She bent down to dislodge it, “I know.”

“You’d think your hair would be blocking the drain,” Cisco commented offhandedly.

“It does,” she replied, tipping her head to the garbage bin as she throwed the clump into it. “I found white strands there this morning.”

She turned back to him and raised an eyebrow. “Technically this is my third shower of the day.”

Caitlin sounded more amused by the fact than frustrated. It’s funny, they’ve seemed to have reversed. She’s not so bothered about Killer Frost anymore, Cisco realized, she’s learned to accept it. And now here he is opening up her issues again now that she’s made peace, this time Cisco upset.

Cisco sighed. “I just, I don’t know, it sounds stupid. I want her to like me.”

“But why?”

“Because I know it’s shitty and unfair and I know you’re not doing it on purpose but to have Killer Frost tell me that we don’t have any connection is a part of you saying you don’t love me!” Cisco clenched a closed fist to his mouth, turning away, horrified.

He never pieced it together that this was what he was feeling until he said it out loud.

He pressed his head against the tiled wall. “It hurts me,” He admitted, burning with shame, “It’s stupid and selfish, but it hurts a lot. I just want to fix it, Caitlin.”

Caitlin’s face crumbled, “Oh, Cisco,” She said, shakily. She reached for his face, placing both of her hands there.

“Honey, I don’t know if you can.”

“I have to try, right?”

She leaned her forehead against his. People think that Caitlin is taller than Cisco, but that’s because she’s always wearing two inch heels. Barefoot, they’re the same height, and that makes it perfect for moments like this.

“Don’t you find it weird that she knows everything about you but not vice versa?”

“Annoying? Yes. Weird? No. She doesn’t want me to know she’s vulnerable, she doesn’t want us to be one whole person. She does love you, Cisco. She thinks we don’t known that, it gives her leverage. It gives her some power.”

Cisco doesn’t say a word.

The water was getting cold.

“We’re actually going to be late for work,” Caitlin noted.

Cisco turned off the faucet. “Would it make you uncomfortable, if I hang out with her? If I...date her? Try to make her feel special?” He thought of Killer Frost’s words. You and I both know that Caity has a jealousy streak. That wasn’t exactly true but Cisco wouldn’t blame Caitlin if the thought squicked her out. Cisco’s not sure how he’d respond if Caitlin asked to woo his alter ego. Scratch that, yes he does, he’d be jealous as hell.

Caitlin got out of the bath, wrapping a towel around herself and sighed.

“Honestly, if you think it’ll work, go ahead,” she said.

Cisco grabbed a towel of his own.

“Really?” He squinted at her. Sometimes Caitlin would do that girl thing where she says something is fine with a cheery Dora the Explorer voice that gives her away that she definitely doesn’t think it’s fine at all.

But Caitlin wasn’t pretending to satisfy Cisco here, her face bore plain indifference.

Caitlin twisted her hair over the sink and wrung it out. “Sure. Just don’t forget about me Mister, don’t you start thinking I’ve forgotten that you left me stranded there in that shower. Think you can handle her?” She looked at his reflection in the mirror, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Ooookay, I know a challenge when I hear one,” Cisco said holding his hand up, grinning. “I did it once, I can do it again.”

“Yeah?” Caitlin smirked, “you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“You get hot when you’re confident like this.”

Cisco laughed, surprised. “Oh, really?”

They’ve been together for three years yet every confidently outspoken flirt she sent his way still made him feel like he won the lottery.

“Yes. Too bad we didn’t have the time in the shower. I would’ve—“ She turned her hairdryer on then, purposefully drowning out her words. She turned around to see Cisco’s scandalized face in person and bursts out laughing.

“Ohhhhhmygod!” Cisco yelled, storming off to their bedroom to retrieve their clothes, “you’re impossible Mrs. Ramon!”

~.~

“Oh, it’s you again.”

Cisco’s laugh was loud, and Killer Frost flinched at it.

“That’s funny, it’s not like this is my room or anything,” Cisco said.

Killer Frost didn’t sound mad exactly, so Cisco was optimistic, but she was definitely unimpressed to find him not only unasleep, but dressed and waving a greasy paper bag in her face the moment she woke up.

She eyed the bag wearily. “What is that? It smells like the backseat of a truck.”

“A cheeseburger from Big Belly, c’mon you love ‘em.”

“I do not,” Killer Frost admonished.

Whoops. Cisco backtracked. Caitlin loves them. Now that Cisco thought about it, he’s not sure he’s ever seen Killer Frost eat anything. It doesn’t matter, she’ll like this.

“That’s right,” he lied quickly, “I’m the one who loves them, but I’ve known you liked their soda since Christmas 2017 and you’ll like the burger too when you try it.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Killer Frost got out of their bed and wandered to her closet. The jacket tonight was dark blue, not to be mistaken with the light blue from their last encounter from two nights ago. She turned around to almost get smacked in the face with the Big Belly Burger bag.

“I said I’m not hungry,” she gritted out between her teeth, but Cisco totally caught her taking an extra sniff.

“You so are,” he gloated, “Caitlin didn’t come home until she completed helping Harry with the Aura-plexion splicer, which was like, twenty minutes ago, which meant she hasn’t eaten yet so I had just enough time to run to the closest BBB before she passed out from exhaustion and you showed up.”

Killer Frost stopped messing around with her hair in the mirror to stare at Cisco.

“Wow,” she deadpanned, “You really thought that one through.”

“Yes I did,” Cisco grinned, placing the food on her vanity in front of her. “So eat.”

Killer Frost rolled her eyes so hard Cisco feared for a moment that they’d roll right out of her head. She slipped off the wedding band and engagement ring once again and—Ouch, it was one thing when she thought he was asleep but he’s right there—snatched the bag as Cisco preened, opening the wrapper quickly and inhaled the burger.

“So? So?” Cisco asked, bouncing on his feet.

So maybe Cisco also ordered six espresso shots in order to stay awake and keep up.

“It’s alright,” She said, trying to sound like that wasn’t the best thing she’s ever eaten. Cisco whipped out a second burger from behind his back.

“Oh, so it’s fine then if I eat this second one I--”

She catapulted from her vanity to grab the burger out of his hands, blasting ice into his mouth to stop him from taking a bite.

Cisco spit the ice out of his mouth, shocked, “Oh, ew. I was kidding, it was yours. Sheesh. Talk about being hangry.”

He sat petulantly on his bed as he watched her scarf the food down in a way Caitlin would never be caught dead.

“So where are we going today?” He questioned.

“I have some business to take care of, nothing special.”

“Can I join you?”

“And follow me around like a lost puppy? I don’t think so.”

“I won’t do that!”

Killer Frost gave him a once over, skepticism written all over her face.

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

“So that means one day you’ll let me prove myself?”

Killer Frost broke the pane glass of their bedroom with a blast and then jumped out the window.

Cisco ducked, covering his head and face from any impact from shards.

When he raised his head from the crook of his elbow, he surveyed his smashed bedroom to find it deserted.

Only left with the front of chilly breeze, two abandoned Belly Burger wrappers and ugly moths making themselves welcome through the broken window, Cisco hauled his blankets off the bed and dragged them down the stairs to their living room. He double checked that he locked the bedroom door behind him (there was an oak tree nearby and the last thing he wanted were raccoons in his house) before making himself comfortable on their couch.

“I wouldn’t follow her around like a puppy,” he grumbled to himself as he shifted against the pillows, trying to fall asleep.

~.~

The night she finally let him go with her, that’s exactly what he did.

Cisco swung himself over to dangle his feet from the staircase ledge of CCU, watching Killer Frost negotiate with a “friend” of hers from her days with Amunet Black.

It had been three weeks after Killer Frost broke their window. Caitlin woke up the next morning yelling at Cisco for antagonizing Killer Frost in a way that made her damage their house and Cisco didn’t even bother excusing either of them.

He didn’t let up though.

Killer Frost was charming him with her echoey voice, and it made Cisco stew.

Killer Frost was beautiful in many ways different from Caitlin. It was weird like that. Their eyes were different, her hair was a different colour completely. Her complexion, the whitest he’d ever seen on a girl, almost glowing. He used to have thought somehow, idiotically, that it was her powers that seemed to magically transform her into wearing Hot Topic-esque lipstick colours, but it turned out after closer inspection, her lips were honest to god blue. Her eyelashes had tiny ice crystals formed at their tips. She was inhuman, unearthly, and it lured men, Cisco included. Killer Frost knew all this and used it to get what she wants.

Killer Frost came back with the guy in tow, and Cisco straightened up, assessing him. Killer Frost’s “friend” was a lot more intimidating up close and his arms were freakishly huge.

“Who’s that, Frost?”

Cisco’s not dressed in his Vibe suit except for his goggles, so yeah, he can see how he might look like a nerdy cosplayer next to her, decked in his sweats and The Big Bang Theory shirt.

But it was 3 AM so Cisco should have no reason to be ashamed.

“A colleague,” Killer Frost shrugged.

“Vibe,” Cisco clarified, “Who are you, fella?”

Killer Frost shot Cisco a hard glare.

“You brought a superhero?” The man accused, getting panicky.

“Hey, watch your mouth! Frost is a hero too, big guy.”

The man snorted, “Barely.”

“That’s not true,” Cisco snapped, noticing how Killer Frost’s back went ramrod straight. “She’s been saving Central City for years now--”

Frost began forming from her hands, and she grabbed his wrist.

Cisco yelped, it was so cold.

“Oww, great thanks! Now I’ll be getting arthritis a good ten years early. Oww!! Get your hand off!!”

“Vibe.”

Cisco shut up.

“I’m sorry for him,” Killer Frost said, giving muscles guy a wide, apologetic smile. “It’s past his bedtime.”

That smile was pure Caitlin Snow but her words were all Killer Frost—it was sort of confusing.

“Anyways, I wish you well on your...endeavours, but the night is young and so am I.”

She released her cold grasp on Cisco and he gasped, taking a step back.

Thankfully, the guy knew a dismissal when he heard one.

Killer Frost turned to inspect Cisco’s arm. “It was only mist not ice, you child. You’ll be fine. Eventually. Also, don’t do that again.”

Cisco nursed his arm to his chest. “What, you mean defend your honour? Yeah, you’re welcome by the way!”

“You’re absolutely deluded. You heard him, the only people in this town who think I have any so called honour are you and your idiot friends.”

“So then how come CC Jitters has had iced coffee named after you for the last four years?”

Killer Frost went quiet. “There is a difference between fear and respect. Reputation precedes actions. It doesn’t matter what I do. I could disappear off the face of the Earth or turn into the next Ghandi. At the end of the day I’ll always be the scary woman with a short temper who went on a deadly ice rampage.”

Cisco blinked, taken aback. Was Killer Frost actually opening up? Did she really have such low self-worth?

Cisco began to wonder. He loved his wife, he really truly did and that included all of her flaws, but...What if Killer Frost was a manifestation of Caitlin’s insecurities? What if Killer Frost was really hurting? Cisco felt his heart break for her.

He could help her.

He wanted to help her.

“Damn,” Cisco said after an awkward silence. “It doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you don’t want it to be.”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, Romeo. I do want it that way. I live to have it that way.”

Cisco didn’t bat an eyelash at her dramatics.

“You help Team Flash for a reason. Why?”

Killer Frost rolled her eyes as she threw random daggers of ice at the ground then stomped them under the heel of her boot, bored.

“You talk so much.” She said, as if Cisco were the exhausting one.

Alright, that was enough therapy session for one night. Cisco changed the topic.

“I thought you hated your time being muscle for Amunet.”

“I did. But so did everyone else working for her. Believe it or not Biceps over there’s the cleanest of them all.”

“Is he a meta?”

She looked up at him, briefly. “No.”

“What did he want?”

“Help on a personal project, revenge from people who’ve done him wrong. I turned him down. Too messy and his plan wasn’t a great one.”

Something close to relief filled Cisco’s chest. She hadn’t needlessly put a target on her back. That left him so oddly satisfied.

“Would you’ve helped if it were?”

Killer Frost wrinkled her nose, climbing up the stairs to sit next to him, her boots dangling over the ledge next to his beat up Vans. He wordlessly handed her another Big Belly Cheeseburger. She did almost cut the circulation off from his right hand, but then again they don’t withhold food from the most evil of criminals in jail, so not giving her the burger just seemed cruel. “Nah,” she said, “but let’s let him think I would.”

Pride, he realized. The feeling was pride.

“Okay, so it was definitely insulting what you said back there about it being past my bedtime except it sort of actually is? I’m breaching home. You coming?”

Killer Frost shook her head. “The party doesn’t stop until the clock strikes six-thirty. It’s only four. Told you that you wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

“Fine. Fine.” Cisco imitated her under his breath as he jumped into the blue then face planted into bed.

~.~

If you wanted to ask Cisco why he renamed the metahuman who is currently sitting in a quarantined jail cell to ‘Contagion’, he’d tell you that the name ‘Virus’’ simply wasn’t brutal enough to sound accountable for the hell he was going through—He thought he’d rather be dead—after being exposed to his powers for all of thirty seconds.

He was sure half of the emergency room at Central City Hospital agrees with him, for Contagion’s infectious radius ran a good three miles in every direction from the scene of his fight with The Flash and Killer Frost this afternoon.

What had happened was this: Cisco developed this mask that provided an infiltration system strong enough to exterminate the deadly germs, but only had enough time to make one duplicate. Barry got dibs on the original, and Harry the second, because Killer Frost’s internal temperature ran too cold for her body to host the bacteria.

Right, so there he was, monitoring with Iris from a safe distance at Star Labs while Killer Frost is totally immune trying to fight this demon that’s probably the son of Hades himself.

Barry ran so fast these days, it was near impossible to catch his signature red streak on their screens, so Cisco focused his attention on Harry, the most vulnerable of the three, trying to safely procure a blood sample from Contagion to bring back in order to find a cure.

It figured that Harry didn’t realize Contagion was carrying a knife when he whipped out a needle to plunge into his neck.

In what felt like slow motion, Cisco warned everyone through the coms to watch out and breached over to yank Harry safely back to Star Labs. Cisco was there for ten seconds, his initial breach hadn’t even closed yet before they were falling back into it. That’s ll it took for Cisco to get infected. The last thing he remembered was throwing up on Iris’s shoes and mumbling I don’t feel too good before promptly passing out.

He blinked his eyes open now and groaned. It felt like there were two slabs of concrete over his eyelids. The amount of willpower Cisco had to put into lifting them should be a crime. The first thing he took in was the IV pole he was hooked up to as well as the saturation monitor around his finger. It looked like Caitlin had her entire medical supply dumped onto their bed.

“Cisco! Oh thank god you’re awake.”

“Cure?” He whimpered, pathetically. His throat felt like sandpaper.

Caitlin scrunched her face up sympathetically, which meant no.

Right, because Cisco pulled Harry out three seconds away from getting the blood sample needed for that.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, it’s going to have to run its course.”

Cisco groaned again.

“We discovered that Virus’s effects weakened the further away the exposed person were from the site. According to Barry you landed the closest to Virus when you breached Harry and you weren’t wearing the mask, which unfortunately means you’re our sickest patient.”

Cisco’s IV beeped cheerfully. Caitlin stood up to change the bag.

“Contagion,” Cisco muttered darkly.

“I’m sorry?”

“We’re renaming him Contagion.”

Caitlin looked at him before nodding.

“Okay.”

“I hope Harry’s happy,” he slurred.

Caitlin stopped fussing with the pole to shoot him a reprimanding look. “He is. He’s heading to Iron Heights now for the blood sample to try to figure something out. At this point it looks like 48 hours at least, though.”

Cisco shrunk into the bedsheets, guilty.

“What are your symptoms? I already know you’re nauseous and dehydrated, I’m medicating you with gravol and fluids for now. Your saturation levels were also fluctuating, not good. I’m going to need a list of what else is wrong to submit to Harry.”

“Everything,” he wheezed, then began coughing like a tuberculosis patient.

Caitlin grimaced, helping him up to a sitting position.

“I need something more specific.”

“Um….”

Cisco tried to perform some introspection, but he must’ve went a little dazed because Caitlin began shaking his shoulder in concern, he was actually surprised he was lucid enough to think.

“Sore throat….headache….earache... sinus pain, but like, on an elephant level.”

Caitlin reached across him to flip on the switch for the table lamp and began creating a list on her clipboard.

“Oh god.”

The lights were making Cisco woozy, he squinted at her, confused why she was going fuzzy around the edges.

“I’m dizzy... I think I’m seeing double unless you got a clone behind my back...my chest feels on fire, still queasy by the way, and my nose is blocked.” .

“Your throat can’t be that bad,” She joked, and Cisco would roll his eyes if he had any energy left.

He coughed again, and Caitlin put her pen down. “I can’t treat you for all of that at the same time without overdosing you.” She sighed, picking up her stethoscope from around her neck.

“Deep breaths,” she guided him as she placed the cold piece against his back.

Deep breaths were not in the cards right now.

She frowned again, “The infection is literally attacking all of your major systems, with respiratory, and your immune taking the hardest hit. This is one hell of a flu.”

Cisco snorted. Only Caitlin could sound almost awed at the intensity an illness was beating up her husband’s body.

Caitlin mumbled to herself, “Prednisone first because of the coughing. Your air entry is pitiful, Cisco.”

Cisco followed her with his eyes as she dug around for pills.

“You’re barely hanging on and you’re enhanced, Cisco. I can’t imagine how bad it must be at the hospital,” Caitlin fretted. “They might need my help.”

“You’re going to leave me alone?” His lip trembled, and yes, he was a grown ass man but he had pretty much every human common sickness all snowballed into one attacking his immune system, okay? He kind of wanted his doctor wife to stay.

Caitlin petted his hair. “I’ll give you something so you can sleep now that you’re not unconscious and I’ll ask Barry to check in on you until I come back.”

He watched Caitlin warily as she made a few calls, first to Harry, then to an old colleague of hers who now oversees Central City emergency who she met at her small stint at Mercury Labs. From what Ciso gathered from Caitlin’s side of the conversation, they were overworked, packed and desperate for help of any kind, especially from someone who already has experience with the infection.

She hung up after promising to show up soon, then called Barry to ask him to keep an eye on Cisco.

Caitlin fiddled with Cisco’s IV again, then gave his forehead a tender kiss.

At this point things got a little hazy. He thought he might’ve remembered her telling him goodnight, but Cisco honestly didn’t remember.

It felt like years later when Cisco distantly heard Barry’s swoosh followed by the hushed noise of whispering. He tried to open his eyes, but this time it actually was impossible. He was acutely aware that he was shivering in a pool of sweat.

“What—Barry—What—Oh my god.”

“I checked on him an hour ago and he was fine, I swear!!”

Caitlin placed the back of her hand against his forehead, then cheek and actually recoiled.

Cisco whimpered. He felt her knees bump against his legs, realizing that Caitlin climbed up next to him in order to slide his body up the bed, removing the sweat-soaked pillowcases from behind him and supporting his head and neck from lolling at an awkward angle.

“Get me the thermometer,” she snapped at Barry, who must’ve fetched it to her in lighting speed because she probbed it into his mouth before she could finish her sentence.

Cisco dozed off until being woken up abruptly by the loud beeping of the thermometer.

With the exception of Cisco’s laboured breaths, it went deathly silent.

“It’s 109…That’s hotter than Ronnie was with the Firestorm complex. Any higher and it could have serious consequences.”

“What kind of consequence?”

“The it could infect his brain kind,” she said in a rush, pained.

“What?” Barry shouted and Cisco felt that reverberate off his frontal and temporal lobes. His head was going to explode. His arm was ridiculously stiff and aching as he flexed his fingers, reaching out blindly for Caitlin’s hand.

“Cisco, honey, I’m here,” Caitlin said, her voice rising in pitch as she tries to control her panic. “I’m going to take care of you, sweetheart, you’re going to be fine. Can you hear me?”

He scrunched his face up in pain, and squeezed her hand as tight as he could.

She let out the tiniest breath of relief.

“Do we put him in an ice bath?” Barry asked, the rhythmic thuds coming from his direction made it obvious that he was pacing.

“He still needs the fluids from the IV.”

“Then what do we do?!”

Caitlin mumbled something under her breath that Cisco couldn’t hear but had Barry up in arms.

“I don’t think so...I’m not comfortable with that if he’s this sick.”

“At least we can try.”

“No! C’mon Cait, we need you.”

“I can’t think of a better idea!”

“Caitlin—What? Wait!”

Cisco fell out of consciousness.

This time when Cisco woke up, it was to the unmistakable hiss of Killer Frost unleashing her power.

He groaned and shifted, feeling something cold and heavy weighing him down.

“Welcome to the land of the living,” Killer Frost said, her voice echoing in Cisco’s sensitive ears.

“You sure?” Cisco croaked out. He felt awful. More like land of the dead. And not the cool Día de Muertos kind.

The pressure against his head was becoming unbearable. But then he felt pressure somewhere else.

Cisco squinted open an eye.

Killer Frost was straddled over his thighs with frost all over her hands.

Cisco startled, and tried to sit up. “Woah—What’re you doing?” His throat was not so bad anymore but the lights were still blinding.

“What does it look like I’m doing? You have a fever. I’m cooling you down.”

She pressed her hands against his neck and it was like an ice cube in boiling water. He did have to admit, it made him feel the slightest bit better.

Cisco tried to focus. “...Where’s Barry?”

“Hmm? Oh, he’s useless to me. I told him to go.”

Cisco’s pretty sure he already asked this but he still tried, “Did Harry find a cure?”

“He’s close,” she said. ”He wants to develop something with the meta’s immune antibodies. He can’t get sick, yet he’s still constantly exposed to his own airborne virus…” Cisco frowned and and she sighed, “Contagion. It’s all speculative. It doesn’t matter anymore. The prednisone cleared your lungs and your saturation is good again. We just need to break your dangerous fever and you’re out of the woods.”

She paused, then waved her hand, blowing cold wind onto his face. Good. It felt good. Her face was tight with careful concentration as she granted him the relief he desperately craved safely.

Cisco looked at his wife with hooded, droopy eyes. “Thank you, Cait.”

“I’m not Caitlin,” she responded distractedly, focusing on the thermometer’s recent reading. “This isn’t working fast enough.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“I pity you. You’re weak and were almost near death because of an influenza. That’s pathetic. Move over.”

Cisco obeyed but wasn’t sure why. Killer Frost maneuvered swiftly until she was spooning him, arms draped around his chest. And then the temperature in the room dropped by a solid ten degrees. Cisco shivered against her, his teeth chattering. “What—Cait?”

Killer Frost shushed him. “I’m giving you a cold hug. Less lethal than a cold kiss. More effective than area specific cold compresses.

“God, I love it when you talk medical to me.”

Killer Frost snorted, “You try so hard.”

Cisco never thought he’d start to relax and feel gradually better by cuddling with a sheet of ice

“Why are you doing this?” Cisco asked her.

“You already asked that.”

“I did?”

Caitlin’s lips moved again his neck. “Can’t I have a nice bone in my body?” She said.

“‘Course you can,” he mumbled sleepily, “You’re the nicest person I know, Caitlin.” His eyelids droop, and he shivers again.

She took a deep breath.

“Go to sleep,” Killer Frost said, with a featherlight freezing kiss to his neck.

Cisco felt Caitlin’s heartbeat, strong and rhythmic, thudding against his back, and it lulled him to sleep.

“Okay.”

~.~

“You’re virtually all better,” Caitlin said happily as Cisco hopped off the examination bed at Star Labs two days later.

He sniffled. “I’m still congested.”

“Nothing some antihistamines can’t fix. Are you sure it’s not just your Spring allergies? Here.”

Cisco laughed at the lollipop Caitlin handed him.

He popped it into his mouth, “Have I been a good patient, doctor?” He asked coyly, spinning around to walk Caitlin backwards until she bumped into the bed.

She giggled. “Exemplary,” she nodded as Cisco lifted her up onto it.

She crossed her legs at the ankle around his waist and dragged the candy out of his mouth. “Good enough to kiss…”

Cisco leaned his hand against the counter as he crowded her space.

“Ramone! Mrs. Ramone! What have I said about obnoxious displays of affection at the workplace? I don’t care if the West-Allens repetitively break it. They. Still. Apply.”

They both jumped, Caitlin holding onto Cisco as his arm slid off the wax paper in shock.

“Jesus Harry!” He gasped.

Caitlin straightened her lab coat, blushing furiously red. “We’re sorry, Harry,” She said sheepishly.

“I’m not,” Cisco grumbled.

They watched as he stalked off to his lab. Cisco gave her his hand so she could carefully step down.

Caitlin put away her stethoscope and blood pressure meter.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you…” she began.

Cisco took his rolling seat at the Cortex.

“Yeah?”

“I remember. What Killer Frost did for you. That hasn’t happened in a long time. Not since we almost all blew up in that nuclear bomb Barry stopped years ago. She—She cared for you.”

Cisco frowned. “I’ll be honest I don’t really remember much. But I do remember a trippy fever dream I had, where I was like, stuck in an ice cream sandwich. I think it was the Oreo cookie kind.” Cisco shook his head and chuckled, “Man that was a strange dream.”

“That was—no—that was Killer Frost,” Caitlin said with trepidation. “She gave you—um,” Caitlin fiddled with her lab coat buttons. “She called it a cold hug. It broke your fever.”

Cisco’s eyebrows climbed sky high. “No way!” He exclaimed. “For real?”

Caitlin nodded, biting her lip. “I knew she would. I trusted her. I knew she wouldn’t have hurt you because of me. I know deep inside she has love for you. It’s still—Shocking though, to have actions and memories that corroborate the theory.”

Cisco smiled, “Yeah. It’s great. A relief even.”

“A relief?”

Cisco walked out of the Med Bay and into the Cortex, leading Caitlin into her office chair with their still clasped hands and stands behind her, slipping down her lab coat and massaging her shoulders affectionately.

“It means it’s working. Our nighttime escapades. She let you remember her experience. She’s growing fonder, softer. Uncoiling from her cold shell, and becoming more you.”

Caitlin sighed when Cisco found a stiff tendon. She tilted her head back against the chair to look up at her husband. “That was really sappy.”

Cisco shrugged, unbothered.

“Don’t get your hopes up. It may be a start, but there’s still a long way to go.”

He bent down to kiss her forehead. “A start is all I need. You’re worth it. She’s worth it.”

~.~

And so it was fitting that as Cisco thought that he made a breakthrough, he got his initial wish.

Killer Frost did not emerge for 9 whole days.

Caitlin was relieved as she was to be able to sleep full nights in her own bed.

Cisco was relieved too—or at least he was, but as the nights went on, one after the other, something in Cisco slowly shifted.

A small acute detail began to gnaw at him.

His sleep schedule was so out of whack, it was easy to blame this new restlessness for keeping him up at night.

Except it wasn’t that simple.

Cisco pulled the blankets up to his neck as he settled into his memory foam pillow on his side the 8th night Killer Frost didn’t show up. Caitlin was sleeping deeply next to him on her side. He blinked at the darkness, squinting at the fuzzy ungodly hour staring back at him from his clock.

He missed her.

~.~

Cisco was dreaming about Pokemon when he was shaken abruptly awake.

“Hey,” Killer Frost said, fully dressed, an annoyed tone seeping into her voice.

“Stop snoring for god’s sake.”

It took several disorienting moments for Cisco to fully understand that Killer Frost was back and purposefully waking him mid slumber.

He opened his eyes to stare at her blearily. “Hi?”

“That took so long,” Killer Frost lamented.

Cisco took the opportunity to quickly mourn his precious lost sleep.

“It was the first good rest I’ve had in three days,” He told her.

“How come?”

As if she didn’t already know.

But wait, she didn’t know. Caitlin was asleep, so there were no memories for Killer Frost to remember. She wasn’t mocking him, then. She was honestly curious.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Aw, missed me?”

“Yes,” Cisco groused into his pillow.

“How adorable,” Killer Frost pouted, batting her eyelashes.

He swatted her with Caitlin’s throw pillow.

“Why did you go?” Cisco asked, pulling himself out of bed.

“Put on some shoes and a jacket,” she said instead of answering his question.

He followed her down the hallway and into the coat closet. He pressed his hand against the fake wall for his Vibe jacket. He was bending down to slide on his Nike Air’s when Killer Frost said, “I didn’t realize I’ve been gone that long until you pointed it out.”

“Really?” Cisco asked, desperately curious, without trying to offend her.

Cisco thought that was so strange. How could you not realize you have dissapeared? Where even does Killer Frost go? Is she not able to think, have emotions, when she is not in control? Certainly not, if she could still retain all of the memories of Caitlin.

Killer Frost frowned at him, “I don’t know,” she said, quieter, introspective, then regretted the vulnerability and rolled her shoulders back in a fluid motion.

“Whatever. Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Cisco said. “I wanted to thank you. You probably saved my life with Contagion.”

Killer Frost looked uncomfortable. “Please, don’t mention it.”

“You did that for me, of course I should mention it.”

“I did it for Caity,” Killer Frost corrected. “She doesn’t need to become a widow twice in one decade.”

That was fair. Untrue, but fair. Killer Frost definitely liked Cisco and he doubted she is apathetic enough to let him die, but he decided to let it slide.

“Okay, let’s go,” Killer Frost urged him.

“Hold on,” Cisco said. “I have rules. I want to know what we’re getting into before we waltz on into danger. Also I have limits that I won’t cross—Not even for you.”

“First of all I don’t waltz, second, shut up and put on your coat,” Killer Frost muttered. She stalked out of their bedroom and clicked down the halls in her high heeled boots.

Cisco ran after her.

“Hey, wait, seriously Ice Queen, I’m not putting on these shoes until you tell me who we’re getting involved with.”

Killer Frost groaned overdramatically, and spun on her heel to face him.

“Fuck off.”

“No,” Cisco snapped, “You woke me up. Are you in trouble? Has that been why you were hiding? Are you up to something dangerous?”

“Yes Cisco, I’m going to stab someone in the heart with an icicle. Then have a Winter convention with Jack Frost and the Yeti,” she deadpanned.

“You think this is funny?”

“Fine,” Killer Frost huffed, throwing her hands up in the air, accidentally releasing puffs of frost. “You caught me. I don’t do that anymore. You think I’m hiding something? Well, I am. I’m hiding that I have nothing to hide.”

What.

“What do you mean? You don’t do what?” Cisco said slowly.

Killer Frost mumbled something really quietly under her breath. Cisco thought he heard it, but he couldn’t quite believe it.

“I’m sorry, what?” Cisco asked, putting a hand behind his ear. “You’ll have to say that again louder.”

Killer Frost rolled her eyes heavenwards.

“Crime,” Killer Frost gritted out. “I don’t do crime. Is that really so hard to believe?”

Huh. That’s what Cisco thought she said.

“¿Qué?”

Cisco finally bent down to tie his shoes to give her time to explain.

Killer Frost hesitated, “Don’t get me wrong. I was…Doing stuff. Not Savitar level, but I wasn’t an angel either.”

Cisco snorted as he double knotted, “Oh? I haven’t noticed.”

Killer Frost ignored that, “Then I thought if I balanced out the bad with good by helping out every once in the while on Team Flash, then what was the harm? Stabilized equation, you know?”

Cisco didn’t know but he nodded encouragingly.

“That wasn’t working. I just don’t like it anymore. I don’t want you to look at me and think, she’s the black sheep. She’s evil. I’m embarrassed to know her.”

Cisco began to protest but she cut him off.

“I’m different. Not evil. I’m different,” she asserted. “I won’t apologize for who I am or what I can do. That doesn’t make me bad.”

“Okay,” Cisco said gently. “That’s fine. But why does my opinion of you matter so much?”

“It doesn’t,” She argued stubbornly.

“Okay,” Cisco said again, unsure how else to respond to that. “So then...What is it you do?”

Killer Frost put her hair up in a long platinum ponytail. “I train.”

”You train?”

“I need to be able to learn what I can do with my abilities. I thought you could join me, why the hell are you making such a big deal out of this?”

She was right. Killer Frost was actually trying to act somewhat normal and Cisco was making it difficult. “I’m sorry,” he said and meant it. “So how do you train?”

“Most of the time I just run around the city from up high. I like it.”

Cisco tilted his head, intrigued. “Up high?”

“You know what I mean. My ice slides. You made my boots. They work like skates, I never lose friction and unless I’m holding onto them everyone else seems to slide off.”

Killer Frost made a vague diving gesture.

“Right, right, like Rainbow Road on Mario Kart.”

Killer Frost gave him a blank look.

“What? You’ve never played? I’m sure Caitlin has played.”

Killer Frost shook her head as she opened their front door.

Cisco locked it before turning to give her a wide, excited smile. He followed her down the sidewalk and stuffed his keys in his pocket.

“Girl, I can hook you up.”

They went to a splash park, turned on the water and actually had a lot of fun.

~.~

Killer Frost started appearing more sporadically after that. Cisco had a hard time tracking her and Caitlin’s patterns and several times within the next three weeks she didn’t show for several consecutive days. Or she did, but Cisco being exhausted, slept through it as she left him alone. He loved the time this opened up to spend with Caitlin, but still, it was weird. Cisco would be concerned if she didn’t appear to show up for work when they needed her, but she always did. In fact, she started to take her role on Team Flash more seriously, and Barry and Ralph were impressed.

Caitlin said, “Maybe she doesn’t want to disturb your sleep? You’re tired. You need rest.”

It didn’t sound like her. But it was a nice thought.

Cisco tried to stay up every night anyway just in case.

~.~

A month later, on a day where Cisco and Killer Frost’s patterns aligned, he dragged Killer Frost to their living room after a night’s worth of careful sparring in a park.

She watched as he set up his old Wii to their television. Cisco was sat cross legged on their freshly vacuumed carpet, whereas Killer Frost was lounged on the couch, dripping water onto said freshly vacuumed carpet from the tips of her fingers.

“Can I ask you a question?” he said lightly as he sipped on some coffee. He had been drinking a lot of it recently.

“You just did.”

Cisco smoothed past that. “What’s your name?”

He dared a glance. Killer Frost stared at him blankly. Her eyes bored straight through his skull.

“You don’t have to answer that, I was just curious.”

He knew it was a very bold move. He did it because Killer Frost was changing. Transforming, maybe, was the best word.

She was transforming in front of Cisco’s very eyes. And he was so curious about her. About how she thought, what she knew, what she felt.

~.~

Cisco had a long conversation with Caitlin that morning. She told him that Killer Frost was starting to leave her sticky notes when she was around. They were never detailed and they were very snarky, but they were something, and Caitlin was thankful for even a smidge of insight. It had been years since Caitlin received nothing but radio silence from Killer Frost and now it finally looked like there was change.

Then Caitlin threw him in for a loop.

“I think she likes you more than she lets on,” She advised him.

“I figured that out a while ago,” Cisco admitted.

Caitlin furrowed her eyebrows and touched his arm, “No, I mean, I think she likes you. I think she’s avoiding spending time with you alone because she’s scared. ”

He wanted to ask her how she would know that based off a dozen sparse post-it notes, but then he remembered this wasn’t just his journey. He told Caitlin about every encounter, every moment he’s had with Killer Frost. And most importantly, she knows herself.

Cisco stopped eating his lunch where they were watching Barry experiment in the Pipeline to stare up at her. “Oh.”

It was funny. Cisco was the one to suggest to try and date Killer Frost. He never thought it would actually work.

Caitlin smiled wryly.

“You’re so smart. I love you.”

Caitlin kissed him, mustardy lips and all, “I love you too.”

Cisco turned on the television, shaking away the memory, and flipped to the channel connected to the game so that the classic Mii music played loudly between them.

“My name is Killer Frost.”

“I meant your real name, but okay,” Cisco said, and gave her a remote. She listened as he explained what the buttons were and how it worked.

Killer Frost picked Luigi as Cisco watched, incredulous.

“Don’t you want to be Rosaline?”

“Why? Because she’s a girl?” Killer Frost sniped, annoyed.

“No! Look I picked Daisy! Just...Rosaline looks like you.”

Killer Frost hovered the remote over the galaxy princess and then moved it away to confirm for Luigi. “Eh,” she shrugged, “What about you, why Daisy?”

“I like her attitude,” Cisco stated, “her laugh is obnoxious when she wins and I love it.”

“Okay, well you won’t be hearing it because you’re not winning tonight.”

Cisco put a hand over his heart, affronted. “Excuse you, Icicles, who’s introducing Mario Kart to whom?”

Killer Frost smirked, picking a bike over the recommended standard kart. She also declined using the wheel attachment that made steering with the Wii remote easier.

“We’ll see.”

They started the first circuit as Killer Frost asked, “What the hell do you mean my real name?”

Daisy got blasted by an evil Koopa Troopa then fell into a lava pit as Luigi sped past her.

“Are you really telling me that when you think, your inner voice refers to you as Killer Frost? Is that what you call yourself?”

“It’s what you call me,” Killer Frost replied.

“Is it what you want me to call you?” Cisco mollified.

“What else would you call me?”

It was a rhetorical question and it made Cisco sad so he didn’t respond and focused on the video game.

Three races later Cisco was loosing very badly and it wasn’t because he was sleep deprived.

“You blueshelled me, you little shit!” Cisco shouted, shocked. “You totally remember how to play! You’re better than Caitlin!”

Killer Frost leaned back against the couch, smug. “Actually, Caitlin’s just been letting you win.”

Cisco’s jaw dropped. “See if I plan a fun date again.”

Killer Frost freezed. “A date? This was a date?”

Cisco mentally slapped himself in the face. He was definitely in hot water and there was no way he could salvage this by pretending he didn’t say that. He took the plunge.

“Ummmmmmmmm…Maybe?”

Killer Frost slid down the couch to sit next to Cisco. “You don’t want to do that.”

“Why not?” Cisco challenged.

She looked at him, and he looked back.

And he saw it. He saw her. Her.

Caitlin was right. Killer Frost was falling in love with him. Her face was open, bare, unguarded...She was petrified.

Luigi drove victory laps around Daisy, as the congratulations you win! blinked at them over and over. The game waited impatiently for player 1 to press the A button so they could post the scores.

“You are Caitlin, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

Her answer was terse but unsurprising. After all, Cisco knew this since the beginning.

Killer Frost’s voice lost its echo as she dropped her eyes to the floor. “I’m everything Caitlin hates about herself.”

“But she’s everything you hate about you.”

Killer Frost’s eyes flickered up to his mouth. “Not everything,” she whispered.

Cisco scooted backwards.

Killer Frost‘s eyes flashed, hurt.

Cisco cursed himself. He began to apologize but she cut him off.

“You told Caitlin that my saying I had no feelings for you was a part of her not loving you. But you don’t love me either.”

“I do.”

Killer Frost patted his cheek, and it left water droplets against his skin.

“No you don’t,” she said very soft. She tossed her remote onto the floor and left.

Cisco sat there for the rest of the night, stunned.

~.~

“You were right,” Cisco told Caitlin later that day. They were at Joe’s and they were celebrating Jenna’s fourth birthday.

Caitlin tugged her hair out of its ponytail from under her party hat.

“Right about what?” She teased, and it was true. She was right about a lot of things.

“Killer Frost admitted that she’s you. I think she loves me. Like you.”

Caitlin simply scraped off icing from her fork against her paper plate. “What does that mean?”

She was nervous. So was he.

He took her hand and answered truthfully. “I don’t know.”

~.~

Two days later they needed Killer Frost in a mission but she refused to come out.

~.~

Caitlin shook Cisco awake, calling his name with a shaky voice.

Cisco startled. He should be used to this by now.

“Cisco,” Caitlin gasped, “Oh god.” She clenched her eyes shut. “I can hear her. She’s doing something.”

Cisco sat upright immediately. “Who?” Cisco demanded.

Caitlin exhaled and frost came out of her lips. When she opened her eyes they were blue and Cisco watched as some of her hair streaked white.

“Killer Frost?” Cisco asked.

It began to snow. In their bedroom.

It was September. It was too early for snow. Even if it wasn’t September there shouldn’t be snow falling inside one’s house.

“No,” Caitlin said, and the snow stopped. She reached out her hands and gripped Cisco’s arms. Her hands were very cold, not freezing, not hurting, but very cold.

“It’s me. I’m doing this.”

Cisco’s mouth gaped. “What—? Can you control it?”

Caitlin’s hands regained their warmth right away. “I think so,” she replied. Brown eyes. White strands gone.

“What about Killer Frost?”

“I hear her. I feel her when I use my powers. She’s guiding me. She’s like a part of my brain.”

Cisco ran a hand through his extremely knotted hair. He remembered what Killer Frost said, how she was everything she hated about herself. What did that mean for Caitlin?

“How do you feel?”

Caitlin’s lip trembled. She blinked, then blinked again—her eyes, brown to blue to brown to blue.

“I remember everything. The mental block is gone. I feel…”

Cisco watched her face crumple and she began to sob.

Cisco launched himself towards her on the bed, letting her collapse onto him.

It made sense. Killer Frost was a defense mechanism. It was how Caitlin coped with her pain and loss and sadness and anger and the trauma. Which Cisco knew she had so much of.

It was where the jadedness, the sarcasm and snark, the hopelessness and the abandonment, the fear and doubt stewed.

With Killer Frost unlocking that door, it unravelled all the burden that she carried with her. And, of course, the power. The power was phenomenal. Killer Frost was trying to protect Caitlin from this. She tried to manage it alone, but then she began to yearn for more because...

Because two halfs aren’t complete without each other.

“I feel...” Caitlin sobbed harder, and Cisco couldn’t take this any longer, he really couldn’t.

Cisco leaned his head against her hair and rubbed her back.

“Pained?” He guessed. He felt his own eyes start to prickle when she nodded against his chest.

“You’re not alone,” Cisco swore. “You’re so strong, Cait. All of you. I love you so much.”

“You don’t love the powers,” she mumbled against him.

Cisco pulled her away to grasp her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. He wiped away her tears with his other hand as he said, “I don’t and I’ll tell you why. When you got them all those years ago, not only was it a chilling ability physically, it was numbing you. But that pain, just like your powers is now a part of who you are. And it’s you I love. So I’ll have to learn. We’ll both have to learn.”

Caitlin took a deep breath and nodded. She wiped her face too, the tears now gone. Her eyes went blue again as she formed an ice sculpture in the palm of her hand.

A heart.

If that wasn’t confirmation that this was Caitlin, he didn’t know what was.

“I feel afraid,” Caitlin said, “but not because I’m using my power.” She handed Cisco the ice sculpture and he sort of didn’t know what to do with it. Caitlin took it back from him with a small amused smile.

“And I feel power, but not just when I’m afraid.”

Cisco laughed and leaned back in their bed as Caitlin experimented. “I actually sort of understood that.”

Caitlin shrugged, then looked at her hand. “The rings are off. She left them on the vanity.”

Cisco was quick to grab them. “So you knew about that,” he questioned as she slid them back on.

“I do now,” Caitlin corrected. “I didn’t before.”

Cisco nodded. All the pieces came together now. “Of course she didn’t, she didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I sort of wish you told me,” Caitlin admitted.

“I’m sorry, querida,” Cisco whispered. “I didn’t want to upset you either.”

Caitlin’s eyes turned brown again.

“It’s going to take a while to get used to that.”

Also the loss of Killer Frost’s echo and signature hiss. Cisco was going to miss them.

“I had a solution for the ring problem that I was going to give to KF.” Cisco searched through the pockets of his Vibe jacket until he retrieved a little velvet pouch.

He opened it and slid its continents into his hand.

A fine silver chain with a ring that had a small blue stone as the pendent.

“It was inspired by the power-reducer necklace we gave you. And the ring colour is the same as your eyes when you turn. Killer Frost took the rings off because she didn’t feel she was a part of the promise it symbolized, right?”

“Yes,” Caitlin confirmed breathily as Cisco clasped it around her neck.

Cisco continued, “Well I was prepared to make a new promise: To include her.”

Caitlin marveled at the necklace. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “I love it.”

“I put it on a chain so she could wear it under her jacket where it wouldn’t ruin her aesthetic.”

“Smart.”

Cisco looked at his alarm clock and did a double take. It was only four in the morning and they didn’t need to be at work until nine.

The realization came flooding in.

Cisco laughed hysterically into his pillow.

Caitlin arched an eyebrow, unable to help letting out a giggle at the sight. “...Are you okay?”

“Perfect!” Cisco exclaimed, giddy. “I can sleep normally again! And with you! Every night! Like a normal couple!”

Caitlin’s confused smile morphed into a wide one and she burst out laughing too.

FIN

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