the binder came! aud had to help me put it on. this thing is NOT cripple friendly!
it’s a black underworks tri-top xxl, the shorter one
pros:
easy to breathe, keeps the twins mostly out of my way, can jump up and down without bouncy chest
cons:
chafed the FUCK out of my armpits in just an hour, i’m not sure how to keep my tits from amalgamating in the center and putting cleavage right under my chin, th constant pressure on my chest increases dysphoric feelings and causes those flashbacks (not as bad as last time, but they’re there), and the goddamn front rolls up CONSTANTLY and i quickly lost patience with that shit because texture is a huge big deal to me because of the ‘tism. having to keep adjusting myself is really upsetting.
conclusion: i have to lop these tits off. flattening them out gets me close enough to the body i want that it rubs salt in the wound because it’s not enough.
fun fact: i can finally see my fat gut. i ain’t all “yay fat” but for once something sticks out further than the goddamn rack, and that makes me happy.