Sometimes I get really hung up on the thought of if I didn’t experience alexithymia and low affective empathy would I still identify as asexual? and like the answer doesn’t matter because it’s about a hypothetical world that does not exist because I do have alexithymia and low affective empathy and neither of those things are ever changing. and also even if the answer was yes my asexuality is a direct result of my autism, implications of that answer don’t really mean much because sexuality cannot be cordoned off from the rest of your internal experience of self including intellectual/developmental disability. so I know I should just stop dwelling on it but unfortunately in addition to having can’t directly experience most of my own emotions disorder I have chase your own tail thinking disorder so being logically able to dismiss this as a cause of concern does not stop the rumination #myrumination