#the empty man reacteth

[emp-t-man]

i think this one might actually be shorter than episode three which is crazy BUT. it’s that time 💪

first of all— eiffel is outside of the station during a solar flare. we can all agree on that. BUT, there’s nothing that comes from that. there’s no eiffel clone after. which makes sense, because the last time bob and friends sent back one of the CURRENT members of the crew, it didn’t go well! that’s why they waited until minkowski and her crew had enough information about lovelace to send her there instead! they are VERY PARTICULAR about when they send doubles and when they don’t. which, don’t hate me, is why i think the jacobi that goes home in the finale is in fact the original. there would be no reason for the folks at gliese 163 to send another duplicate home with them. you coouuuld argue that they needed him there to transfer hera onto the urania? but i’m sure lovelace could have figured it out

also?? i know the general consensus with eiffel is that he’s incompetent and terrible with station protocol or whatever, but there is a definite shift in his tone once things start to go wrong. his vernacular is quick to turn very military (do not copy, mayday, etc), and he immediately starts to come up with a plan with minkowski to get him back on structure. i absolutely love when he has moments like that, because it proves that he is there for a reason.

i wonder what hilbert’s angle was when he suggested that minkowski abandon the rescue mission. did he really not think eiffel would survive and was just concerned for minkowski and the continuation of his work? was he more worried about that, or what could happen to him if his crew ended up dead again? idk that weirdo intrigues me

anyway, less serious stuff, now, the delivery on aaAAAUUGH SONOFABITCH! takes me out every damn time. also yES, EIFFEL, THAT’S MY JETPACK THINGY >:(

obviously i’m gonna be super gay about the imagery of minkowski carrying eiffel back to the airlock and into the infirmary, combined with the banter they exchange once he wakes up. they are everything to me

eiffel and hera’s conversation at the end also means a lot to me, because like. for all we know, this is the first time someone’s life has been truly in danger, and for it to happen to someone like eiffel,, i dunno, i think it could’ve been the first time she HAD missed someone, or thought about them as something other than coworkers, if even. she’s just so sweet and i love her so much i love watching her grow into her personhood

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the energy for tonight is Significantly Lower but we persist regardless. episode 3 be upon ye

there’s something to be said about just how robotic hera sounds, especially in this episode, since one of her only purposes here is to relay information from hilbert like she’s some sort of amazon alexa rather than an actual member of the crew with her own thoughts and feelings on the whole biannual physical thing. sure it could be explained by “oh, the writers wanted to introduce her as an ai rather than a crew member so it could be deconstructed later, it was their decision”. but i think it gets a little more interesting if you think of it as being hera’s choice. because she’s still incredibly young at this point, barely two years old, and she knows that if she does anything to piss the “real” members of the crew off, they could report her to goddard the moment they got back home and she would be disposed of because cutter and pryce would determine she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson. because mind you, everyone still thinks they’re going home, right now, and soon. and hera has no idea what’s going to happen to her when their rotation is over, so she might as well be as pleasant and agreeable as she can so that she has a hope of surviving when all is said and done.

also? i think it says something that eiffel was behind minkowski one hundred percent when she first pitched her alibi as to why she couldn’t participate in the physical (before things went bad) instead of immediately ratting her out to buy himself more time. it’s surprisingly incredibly selfless of him, and something i think gets forgotten when people talk about how much of a dick he is in the earlier seasons (which, don’t get me wrong, he still is)

once again, i HATE those LOUD ASS RADIO STATIC TRANSITIONS. cannot WAIT to get past those

i know this is definitely just because gabriel needed a silly concept to set hilbert up as “sketchy scientist guy”, but what the HELL is actually up with these exams and why do they need to be so brutal, my god, he does NOTHING like that for the rest of the mission even when he’s explicitly seeing eiffel for decima reasons. mans is fucked up /j

obviously i’m gonna say something about the “i could kiss you” comment. i will never forgive blessie for fucking around and distracting minkowski from actually processing what he said there

again, the deliveries here (and usually always) are incredible. especially on “wITH NAPALM, YOU MORON”. these actors are everything to me

that’s all i’m really up for tn, there’s more i have in my head but i fear if i continue to type for much longer instead of going to bed i’ll explode <3

[emp-t-man]

episode 2 time yippeeee :3

i dunno if it was on purpose or if it was just an error on makayla’s part but hera pronouncing minkowski incorrectly is so silly to me. it’s the only time she does that in the whole podcast and it could be seen as her emulating eiffel because they’ve started to get along and then minkowski tearing into her for it so it doesn’t happen again or it could just be a mistake but. it’s silly.

eiffel is so incredibly monotone in these early episodes compared to the amount of personality his voice is known to have, ESPECIALLY during his announcement to the rest of the station. obviously a lot of it is just zach growing into the character and the voice but i also like to think that losing that monotonality is symbolic of him growing out of his more,,, nihilistic? i wanna say? approach to the whole situation as time goes on

i’d let minkowski throw me in the brig. the way she talks in this episode? i’m. god i love angry women

tiny detail but i love his delivery on “can you explain to these LOSERS—” he’s so unserious i love him

i NEED to know what was going through gabriel’s head when he made minkowski call him doug. i’ll probably have a definitive answer on this further into the relisten but i can’t tell if it’s her just being casual and trying to appeal to him as,, almost a friend? or if it’s a bitter thing, like how she refused to call lovelace “sir” until she had earned it. i’ll definitely have more to say on that later, but for now. hm

i would also like to know how many eiffel protocols there were, and for what scenarios minkowski could have possibly come up with him doing in order to make them—

I. HATE. THE LITTLE RADIO STATIC SOUND EFFECT THEY USE AS A TRANSITION IN THESE EARLY EPISODES. ITS LOUD, ITS UNNECESSARY, AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME I THANK GOD EVERY DAY THEY DID AWAY WITH IT

something something “could there be pain” something something masochism something something homosexual

SPEAKING OF PAIN. HILBERT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT VAPORIZED BROMINE??? DO YALL KNOW HOW FUCKING PAINFUL IT IS WHEN BROMINE MAKES CONTACT WITH SKIN??? A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN MY ASS THAT SHIT CAN CAUSE PERMANENT SKIN LOSS

also?? i never realized that the fucking. klaxon thing that blares??? was specifically to prevent him from sleeping. that wasn’t a warning because the room was so cold, it was a method of sleep deprivation, that’s fucked up my god fhdbdb

another one of my favorite deliveries is “i THOUGHT i smelled MOLASSES. but then i DIDN’T get knocked out, so i dunno what THAT was about 😀”

i will never, EVER get over “when in doubt, whip it out” that’s the funniest thing gabriel has ever done /j

also there’s something about the way that eiffel pronounces minkowski’s name wrong when talking to or about her, but still has enough respect to call her “commander” half the time. it’s kind of a proof that he isn’t doing it maliciously, it’s simply a bit of banter that he thought was a joke between the two. but that also makes it more heartbreaking because he genuinely just. doesn’t realize the harm he’s doing. and refuses to listen every time she tries to bring it up.

the way that eiffel is so concerned over brushing his teeth this whole time when this motherfucker won’t even shower. like. your priorities are all over the place babygirl

BUT, speaking of that. i definitely don’t think it’s just about brushing his teeth. i’ve seen a lot of things about like. how ridiculous it is that he would go through all of that just for toothpaste? but listen. nothing in eiffel’s life up until this point had been something he’d had a choice in, at least not since the accident. even going on this MISSION wasn’t really a choice, when you consider the alternative was twenty-something years in prison as opposed to only a couple in space. being in charge of this situation, as dumb as it may sound, was the only thing left for him to BE in charge of. he finally had a SAY in something, and he was willing to go without sleep for over twenty four hours, live in minus forty degrees, starve for hours on end, and be entirely isolated just to make sure he could keep it that way, if just for a few more hours. and that’s devastating to me

this one is long as HELL but every time i listen to this thing i find more stuff i can connect in terms of later plot points and it’s so maddening that gabriel admitted to having no idea where he wanted to go at this point because he ended up tying it together SO WELL.

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guess who actually followed through on that relisten :D

anyway here’s my thoughts from the first episode

every time i hear eiffel say min-cow-ski at this point i have to suck in a breath through my teeth it hurts that much

how the hell did he manage to smuggle TWENTY CARTONS of cigarettes in his pants. i never realized just how damn many he had. how did he get them there.

the way he just says “outstanding 😀” after hearing complete radio silence makes me giggle

the second i heard minkowski’s voice i had to pause the podcast for. a solid minute while i giggled and kicked my feet. it’s so bad.

i had to pause again when she said “excuse me?” god she’s so. anyway—

i know this is the first episode and they have to get the exposition out of the way but like. they’ve been there for a year and a half. minkowski should know eiffel better than to ask if he’s read the damn manual. i just think it’s silly

also? the fact that she knows exactly where his stash is hidden and still has yet to confiscate all of them just so she can blackmail him is amazing. i support her

HERA SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A BABY IN THIS EPISODE. SHE SOUNDS SO YOUNG. I LOVE HER. I MISSED MY DAUGHTER

speaking of daughters? i’m still 100% of the belief that eiffel calling her sweetheart is a Dad Response™️ idc idc

but also the way he tells her to shut up makes me want to strangle him every time

THE RETURN OF SILLYBERT. I DONT CARE HOW UNATTRACTIVE AND INACCURATE IT IS I LOVE ZACH’S EARLY VOICE FOR HIM IT BRINGS ME JOY

“something… less destructive. a hairdryer perhaps” sir you are bald

anyway i love them i missed them prepare for me to be SO annoying