Dear bloggers, I apologize for my recent absence. I had the pleasure of gazing upon a beautiful, fresh, newborn child. As we all commonly know, it takes a newborn child at least seven days to break out of the hardened exoskeleton they are born surrounded by. I experienced that amazing, awesome moment where the small child's teeth finally take the last bite that breaks through the delicate exoskeleton. It was my friend's newborn Breaking Ceremony that I witnessed. You know, the test that tests the babies ability to survive and escape an enclosed space within the maximum time of eighteen days. Failure to do so results in the Sheriff’s Secret Police visiting your home and spraying you with a liquid that definitely doesn't erase your memory. What was that? Exactly. His baby boy took ten days to escape and I watched the whole event – wide-eyed, never blinking, never moving, never shifting in the slightest. Watching. Watching. Watching. We must. Keep. Watching. ALWAYS. As I leave you with this happy memory, I proclaim to you: what a beautiful Night Vale, bloggers! What a beautiful Night Vale.
